We all fly for good reasons. businessmen and parents alike. and we all have a duty to each other to try to minimize our impact on others. That’s a big chunk of the reason I asked the question that began the thread.
Nevertheless, all you can do is your best. Big guys should try not to take up more space than is their due but all they can do is try to do their best (I was once stuck between two guys on Albright’s secret service detail from Minneapolis to Beijing). Businessmen should try not to throw hissy fits when they get on the plane at the last minute and there’s no room for their right-up-to-the-size-limit carry-on. And parents should definitely do their best to keep their children as happy and quiet as possible for everyone’s sake (including their own and the children’s).
But all anyone can do is their best. Society inevitably entails friction. (Surely those of us who live on a island this densely populated can appreciate that.) To minimize the importance of other people’s reasons for traveling by labeling them “lifestyle choices” or “making a sheckel” is counterproductive and only adds to the aggravation of air travel. Having a child is no more “a lifestyle choice” than choosing a career. I have devoted twenty years to my career and will devote the rest of my life to my child (and my career as well). It’s not some superficial affectation like a taste in Blaxsploitation movies. Moreover, it is a social good. There can be no production without reproduction. For all the problems of overpopulation, greying populations are a demographic disaster. If people didn’t make children of their own accord, the government would have to pay them to do so. (In Russia where this is a major problem the government does. And as for sheckles, we all have to make them, and we all depend on everyone else doing the best at their own (ethical) lines of work. However, if you do travel for business, you are likely compensated as you are in part because of the trouble you have to put up with in flying. Everyone, in every job, is paid in part due to the bullshit they put up with. We all hope that we end up sitting next to a diminutive grandma who will sleep the whole way. Sometimes we get lucky; sometimes we don’t.
As for myself, I didn’t really want to go back for Christmas. The prospect of flying 24 hours with two layovers fills me with anxiety–in part, anxiety that I’ll be verbally accosted by someone who thinks I shouldn’t be on a plane with my daughter.
I have good reasons for flying. Family is important. My family is important to me and cohesive, functional families are important to society as a whole. My little girl is my parents’ first, and quite likely only, grandchild. They’ve seen her only once since she was born and won’t see her again until I return to the US permanently this time next year. My grandmother has never seen her and recently had a long, cancerous chunk of colon taken out. I have about a dozen other family members who will be driving for hours for the chance to see the baby for the afternoon. This is not about me “showing off my spawn.” It’s the beginning of an attempt to knit her into the fabric of her family in ways that will enrich and sustain her throughout her life.
Children, well-raised and cared for, are a contribution to the future. They will care for us when we are old (whether as sons and daughters or as nurses and doctors) and hopefully add light to the world long after we are gone.
Be tolerant of others. Especially in anonymous, high-stress situations like air travel, you never really know what other people are doing or why.