FOR YOUR INFO, but dont get afraid to get married

I wonder if this is the ‘right’ thread … :smiley:

  1. Marriage is not a word, it’s a sentence (a life sentence).

  2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is
    an institution for the blind.

  3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
    Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

  4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring,
    wedding ring and suffering.

  5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In
    the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
    listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
    listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
    NEIGHBOR listens.

  6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
    with friends. You order what you want and when you see
    what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that
    instead.

  7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the
    church and found himself married. A year later he muttered
    something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

  8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the
    husband gives and the wife takes.

  9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father:
    I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

  10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a
    man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her. Father:
    That’s true everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

  11. Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm
    clock.

  12. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before
    marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

  13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But
    when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

  14. There was this lover who said that he would go through
    hell for her. They got married and now he is going through
    HELL.

  15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman’s arm soon
    have arms in woman’s sink.

  16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better
    revenge than to let him keep her.

  17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the
    rest cheat in Europe.

  18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
    coin. They can’t face each other, but still they stay
    together.

  19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble
    starts when they try to decide which one.

  20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
    After the marriage the “Y” becomes silent.

  21. “I married Miss right, I just didn’t know her first
    name was Always.”

  22. It’s not true that married men live longer than single
    men, it only seems longer.

  23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost
    impossible.

  24. A man was complaining to a friend: “I HAD IT ALL -
    MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,
    THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE.” “WHAT HAPPENED?” asked his
    friend. He says “MY WIFE FOUND OUT.”

  25. WIFE: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND:
    OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
    lights on.

  26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
    “AREN’T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?” The
    other replied, “YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.”

  27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is
    finished.

  28. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his
    job, he still ends up with the same boss.

  29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The
    next day he received a hundred letters and they all said
    the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

  30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
    can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the
    wife is.

hAve a wonderful day!!!

I know that’s supposed to be funny, but really, it’s actually pretty sad. 16 years down the line and I still don’t regret it for a second. Not a second.

I thought it was funny.

Since we are telling jokes here is one: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced

Be afraid of marriage… Never I like sandmans take on it