Foreign and Taiwanese male friends?

On an entirely different, yet similar, subject:

How many of you foreign guys actually have taiwanese male friends?

I’ve asked many foreign men this question and very few do. I find this incredibly sad. Especially when you can make such
across-the-board judgements about taiwanese men being dull, shallow, meek, small dicked, and money hungry.

They (taiwanese men) probably think white guys are only here to ram the bejeezus out of taiwanese women, are half-assed bushiban english teachers, have no money, goals or scruples, and are great big losers.

As these generalisations can fit quite soundly on both accounts, who is right here?

Ah, the stereotype always wins…

As with many stereotypes, there are bases in fact for them. I think both stereotypes are mostly fair. If I were to advise a Taiwanese woman on foreign men, I would include most of those stereotypes in my advisement, with the caveat that there are always exceptions.

From my experiences thus far, I would say that many of the stereotypes you mentioned about Taiwanese men also hold (though less so for the younger generation), also with the caveat of existing exceptions.

As for ***** size, I have read something that there is some truth to stereotypes about ***** size (across the racial board). Also, I would site anecdotal evidence from the gym. But hey, it’s how you use it, right?

I will search for a citation on the ***** size study.

i am a foreign straight male with many taiwanese straight male friends - top guys, but then why would i want to be friends with anyone, regardless of race, if i considered them an idiot?

OK, I don’t have any Taiwanese male friends. No good ones anyway. This is probably because when I got here I was more interested in meeting women and women were more interested in meeting me than men were. Busted! Actually I would like more male friends, but my newer Taiwanese friends are mostly friends of my girlfriend and they’re all women, so…

Damn I hate the auto-censor. It sensors the word ***** - that’s pen1s. Taht’s not a bad word. It’s part of the human body, man. Moderators - please turn the censor off!


To those guys who don’t have any male Taiwanese friends: take care that the Chinese you learn, if any, is not very feminine-sounding Chinese. If you only learn from and speak with women, you’ll sound like a woman when you speak.

I have noticed that not many “western” men have “Taiwanese” friends. What gives?

IMO opinion one of the reasons for this is that Taiwanese men stereotype what they think Western men, and even women, are all about creating an artificial barrier that impedes true friendship or approaches to make friendship.

Is it just me, or do stereotypes seem to be so much more ingrained here, severly affecting the way in which one is perceived and treated?

I have also found Taiwanese men to be effeminate and less independant in their thinking compared to western men.

Also Taiwanese men can be “mommas boys” which is not considered a bad thing in Chinese culture. Spoiled and pampered by mom and dad from birth they can be immature when it comes to inter-personal relationships and still dependant on them into their 30’s 40’s and 50’s.

Just some random thoughts.

Ok, we have two “trends” here: One is that there seems to be a surprising number of Western guys with female Taiwanese friends. The other is that there seems to be a surprising lack of Western guys with male Taiwanese friends.

From this we might deduce that most Western guys here are biased towards Taiwanese females and/or against Taiwanese males for some reason. Why would that be?

Conclusion proposed above: there must be something wrong with Taiwanese males.

Another possible conclusion: Many Western guys are hot for Taiwanese women and could care less about Taiwanese men.

But that couldn’t be, because that would assume that most Western guys are just over here looking to satisfy their libido and/or Asian women fetishes, and that would just be too degrading to even consider.

So there must be something wrong with Taiwanese men.

thanks poagao,

as a western woman IN LOVE WITH a taiwanese male who just so happens to be, the ‘only’ taiwanese male friend, of a great proportion of my own western male friends, i hear ya.
i mean, half of them don’t even really KNOW him, yet are super friendly to my boo boo…ADORE him, have oodles of respect for him, and have the nerve to say ‘he’s different’…could it all boil down to the fact that he’s has no qualms about even talking to them? he certainly doesn’t giggle and kowtow at their every word, and he challanges them at every opportunity.
well, he also happens to have tons of taiwanese male friends, so i think it’s just HIM.
but, thinking about it…and i’ve LOADS of experience in the department of mixing my taiwanese amores with my western male friends (gay or straight, even in the US), so i’m not making a general stab from my hip, but western men aren’t the slightest bit interested in making taiwanese male friends, unless they’re more on the level.
i mean to say, when they’re laid back, and not impressed by them.
all too often, taiwanese males are almost awed by western men. they’re shy with them, and they’re obsequious, to the point of revulsion. i hate to see it, myself.
but you have to admit it’s true. maybe it’s an alpha male thing. whatever…

it’s just what i’ve witnessed.

Poagao, it is interesting that your conclusions do not include: “there must be something wrong with Western males”.

Well that wouldn’t be very diplomatic of me, since most of the users of this forum seem to be Western males.

I have lived in Taiwan for almost 5 years. I have several male Taiwanese friends. One is an eye doctor at ren ai hospital, one is a player at the Justice department and a few others who own their own businesses or go to school. I have more male friends than female friends on the Taiwanese end.
Anyhow, I came here to learn more about Taiwan and Chinese culture. I don’t think one can do that very well by only consulting half of the population-(the women.)

I’ve thought about this subject a bit and occasionally felt guilty about it. Frankly, I’ve only got one pretty close male Taiwanese friend myself, and admittedly I used to have a relatively larger number of female friends before I settled down with one girl.

Here’s my take on it. Yes, the reason some/many/most ? Western guys have mostly female local friends is – surprise surprise – due to the sex factor. However, before we start castigating and making snide remarks about fetishism, let’s try to keep a balanced view.

I think it’s pretty natural when living abroad to hang out mostly with one’s own…why do you think there’s a Chinatown, a Koreatown, a Little Italy and so forth in so many US cities? While with a member of the opposite sex it’s fairly easy to put aside one’s cultural differences and communicate on a fairly universal level (at least until the initial attraction wears off), it’s not so easy to be chummy in a platonic way. There’s the language barrier, the sports barrier, the music barrier, the re-run barrier, need I go on?

I know I’ll probably get ragged out for this opinion, and yes, I do think the way many of us Western males in Taiwan act is mercenary, if not racist, but at least let’s try to be realistic. I don’t see many Asians living in Western countries worrying so much about whether they’re being sufficiently sensitive to that country’s culture or filling their quota of local friends. But that’s a whole 'nother topic…

It’s cuz I got a big pecker.

My office is loaded with Chinese guys- mostly good acquaintances. Seems they’re only interaction with me is to grab my arm and say, “Strong. Your girl friend must like that.” The double fisted hump thrust added for clarity.

We do get into some decent conversations about gravity bombs and military strategy, but my Chinese is a far cry from amphibious landings, laying down suppressing fire, and scorched earth policy.

I’ve invited them out many times, but this usually involves heavy drinking, loud music, and ogling women, something my co-workers don’t seem that keen on. In the States, 3 out of 4 guys in the office would be up for it. Here 0 out of 60 are.

As biased, culturally insensitive perceptions go, this one is pretty bland: they don’t like to have fun.


Interesting. I only know one Taiwanese male I would call a close acquaintance, and none, I would call a friend. Is it the culture difference?

This is an interesting thread and I am glad that it got bumped up.

To be honest, I don’t have that many “friends” here in Taiwan. I have co-workers and other people I know from different activites. I have drinks with some people (both Taiwanese and “foreign”) every now and again, but there are very few people I would consider my close friends here in Taiwan. Maybe it’s just me (and let the flaming begin), but after working all day, I just want to come home and relax–and spend time with my girlfriend.

I’ve heard that this happens elsewhere, too. My friends in the States say that after they got married, bought a house, started familes, and so on that they just didn’t have the time or the energy to go out and make new friends.

Perhaps some Taiwanese males and foreign males in Taiwan are in the same position? After a certain age or at a certain point in life, maybe it becomes increasingly difficult for either party to have the free time to make new friends?

I could be completely wrong on this, but I have heard that many Taiwanese males make their closest friends either in college or during their military service (or both). I guess that I made some of my closest friends during high school and college.

Anyway, just some thoughts. I’ll be interested to hear what others think.

I was told by my colleagues (all female, barring the boss and another agent) that my Chinese, what little I have, is feminine.

Oh well, perhaps it will stand me in good stead if ever the wife dumps me.

I didn’t know you can learn the effeminated chinese here… :slight_smile:


Yes, it is. And there have been a number of posts that I agree with.

Yeah. I hear ya. I have enough friends already. I barely have time for them as it is. I work all the time. When I have a break, I wanna spend time with my wife, boy and dog.

No doubt.

Perhaps. But I think the guy who candidly explained that it is easier for a foreign male and Taiwanese female to get together… platonically or romantically… hit the nail on the head. When I first arrived here in 1985, I shared a huge apartment with two Taiwanese guys. They were nice enough, for sure… but we were basically from different planets with nothing to share in terms of interests. Later, after these two guys moved out, a Taiwanese gal moved in and we had an entirely different relationship. Imagine that!

[quote=“fee”]Perhaps some Taiwanese males and foreign males in Taiwan are in the same position? After a certain age or at a certain point in life, maybe it becomes increasingly difficult for either party to have the free time to make new friends?

I could be completely wrong on this, but I have heard that many Taiwanese males make their closest friends either in college or during their military service (or both). I guess that I made some of my closest friends during high school and college.[/quote]

Well, yes. When you are married have kids, a house etc. you don’t have the resources to go friend-hunting. Most of my close friends were people I went toschool with - even though they are now some 10,000 kilometers away.

Here? I have found it easier to make friends with other foreigners, mainly long-termers like myself, but my schedule makes it hard to get out and meet new people.

I don’t have any Taiwanese male friends. I do have 2 good aquaintances. I put it down to 3 things: language barrier, cultural differences and just different outlooks.

My Chinese isn’t good enough. The Taiwanese men I’ve met with good English struck me as boorish and sometimes racist. I’m sure I made an equalling appalling impression on them.

Cultural differences, this is so much an excuse now. I know enough about it to navigate my way through most of them. Still both sides often don’t see the same thing the same way.

I’m trying to work on getting some Taiwanese male friends, but it takes 2 to tango.