Foreign kids' experiences in local schools

Taiwan Parenting
21

You know being a teacher here in Taipei and having taught in many locations in Taipei City and a couple of counties, I quite often here the excuse, “oh, the kids in this area” or “oh, the parents in this area” and sometimes I am only 2 blocks away from the “other area” that is being compared.

Well they say it gets worse the further you get away from Taipei, I am glad your girls have no problems at school, maybe girls are just nicer to each other and the boys are probably in awe of your girls. But even though I am in Taipei County, I bet I am closer to Taipei City than BeiTou. I work in Taipei City, not far from TPE 101. I don’t mean to be disrespectful to you or your area, I just don’t go 100% for that “other area” I hear so often." How does anyone else feel about the areas…

22

My daughter endured a heap of abuse through the majority of her elementary years, but she’s now one of the most popular kids at school (Grade 9).

I remember a few days it was tough though, hearing about the other kids calling her “si meiguo ren” and closing the classroom doors in her face when the teacher wasn’t looking. “Only Taiwanese can come in here”. Ironic, since at the time she’d never even been off the island.

23

As for the name-calling - it is perfectly normal in Taiwan and in China to give people nicknames based on appearance, nicknames that in Western countries would be considered inexcusably rude. Being called ‘Fatty’ in English and ‘Pangzi’ in Chinese are not equivalent. Therefore freaking out and/or demanding that the teacher do something about it is not warranted in Taiwan. Other forms of discrimination, though, such as slamming the classroom door in a child’s face, are bullying and should be dealt with.
When the ‘mixed’ kids are older, they will probably be more popular because of the Taiwanese appreciation of pale skin, big eyes, non-black hair, etc.

24

[quote=“bababa”]As for the name-calling - it is perfectly normal in Taiwan and in China to give people nicknames based on appearance, nicknames that in Western countries would be considered inexcusably rude. Being called ‘Fatty’ in English and ‘Pangzi’ in Chinese are not equivalent. Therefore freaking out and/or demanding that the teacher do something about it is not warranted in Taiwan. Other forms of discrimination, though, such as slamming the classroom door in a child’s face, are bullying and should be dealt with.
When the ‘mixed’ kids are older, they will probably be more popular because of the Taiwanese appreciation of pale skin, big eyes, non-black hair, etc.[/quote]

Yes in return for the bit of abuse in the early years, the eurasian kids are the DARLINGS that everyone loves in TAiwan later on .

25

My youngest daughter claims that her schoolmates are not picking on her for looking foreign.

26

[quote=“TaipeiSean”]Well the school did call me once as my boy had hit some kid (a year 3 kid, my boy is only in year 1) in the nose and made it bleed.

Thank you for your kind comments…[/quote]

That’s where I would have had a very serious time holding it together. You kid takes on a bigger kid for this ongoing name calling–and you get called. How many times did the year 3 kid’s dad get called about the name calling?

And those are not just kind words that Sandy and others handed you, and that I’m adding to. One of the reasons I might never return to Taiwan is that I don’t rellish the idea of being a single mom there. It’s hard enough here where I grew up. If I do it, I want to be working for an international school so I can teach at the same place he studies.

I’ve read your former posts about how you came to be a single dad. I’ve never in my life heard a man express such determination and dedication to fathering his child. Unfortunatly a shamefully large percentage of men would have left their sons to the mercies of others.

Happy Father’s day! (This Sunday)

27

[quote=“TaipeiSean”]You know being a teacher here in Taipei and having taught in many locations in Taipei City and a couple of counties, I quite often here the excuse, “oh, the kids in this area” or “oh, the parents in this area” and sometimes I am only 2 blocks away from the “other area” that is being compared.

Well they say it gets worse the further you get away from Taipei, I am glad your girls have no problems at school, maybe girls are just nicer to each other and the boys are probably in awe of your girls. But even though I am in Taipei County, I bet I am closer to Taipei City than BeiTou. I work in Taipei City, not far from TPE 101. I don’t mean to be disrespectful to you or your area, I just don’t go 100% for that “other area” I hear so often." How does anyone else feel about the areas…[/quote]

It doesnt matter how close your area is to Taipei. If its Taipei county then the public funding for the schools and infrastructure/planning is much less then Taipei City so it becomes much less disireable for people to live there. Taipei county taiwanren mostly aspire to move to Taipei City for these reasons thus the large price difference of housing prices between the two. Generally, the upper class lives in Taipei city while the lower class lives in Taipei County so you will notice a difference in the kids also. You can see much more betel nut chewers in county vs. City. I dont know if Hsinchuang is City or County. Schools are generally bad in Taipei county.

28

I did.[/quote]

Raising a mixed race child in Taiwan must be a hard line to walk.[/quote]
Not as much as one might think. Good parenting is not dependent on the location of the family.

29

So Taiwanese kids don’t get hurt feeliings when somone calls them names based on their appearance. I can’t believe that. Name calling is just another form of bullying or psychological abuse. I always hear Taiwanese woman, even girl students who say they are too fat even though they are so thin, maybe this is because they were called “Fatty” when they were kids and still as adults and this can lead to low self esteem and even worse like anorexia.

So maybe we should be freaking out and demanding, or maybe like so many other things, people in Taiwan just need to be educated about things of common curteosy, lik stopping at red lights or pedestrain crossings, or calliing people names… all three of those things can hurt people…

Oh well, I have been called fat by some Taiwanese people and the response I have learnt to say in Chinese is"

“Well, I may be fat, but you are ugly. At least I can lose weight”
It gives them a surprise, especially when it is a total stranger who has called me fat…

30

What is your comeback if the guy says in English, “So why don’t you?”

31

I say it’s because it is my right to be how I am, just as it is his right to be ugly… but I didn’t walk straight up to a stranger and call him ugly…

Why don’t we also start discussing the dicrimination here in Taiwan about people’s blood types, too… But maybe in another Thread then…

32

Sean,

With an attitude like that, you wont get very far in Taiwan. Adults who tell you that you are fat are usually trying to help you although in a mannerless way but thats the way it is here. To reply that they are ugly is just being rude and you wont make any friends here that way. I’m not very fat by western standards but here my friends often tell me to lose weight and that Im getting fatter. I reply that I am working on it as I always am trying to lose weight. When people here call you fat, I dont think they mean it in a derogatory way. Just my opinion. Dont take everything at face value here and just chill like the locals do. Its their culture and if we want to live here, we need to adapt a little.

33

Well, Sorry to say I don’t wish to make friends with people who walk up to me and say that I am fat… simple as that… I have been here 10 years so I am not sure what you mean by not getting vey far… Isn’t it funny how people won’t stop for you at a red light, and yes I have been hit by a car that went through a red light, broke my arm and threw my son about 10 metres up the road. I sued them, but then people will stop you and tell you that you are fat and have a big nose.

Actually I studied Sport Science at university, worked in a gym and managed a gym before I can to Taiwan, worked as a personal trainer here in Taiwan, too, even competed in a sport where weight divisions were important. I have seen the damage that calling someone fat can do. I don’t think I need the advice of a stranger off the street saying that I am fat. And if that is their icebreaker to start a conversation, let’s hope they can improve their social skills a little. or maybe I should use that line at a night club here to try and pick up, as it does seem so popular opening line…

Oh, yes, I have learnt to become very rude in my 10 years here in Taiwan to people who are rude to me. Push me on the bus or MRT, I will push back these days. Go through a red light or pedestrian crossing and nearly hit me, I will hit your car or scooter. My Taiwanese father in law told me when I asked his daughter to marry me, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”… So he gave me the same advice, “to adapt”… So if they don’t realise that they are being rude to me, well they probably don’t realise I am being rude to them and think that we are having a good conversation, just like old friends, The fat friend and the ugly friend.

Good luck on your weight loss program, let me know of you need any advice, I have turned lots of fatties into fitties when working at the gym…

34

[quote=“housecat”][quote=“TaipeiSean”]Well the school did call me once as my boy had hit some kid (a year 3 kid, my boy is only in year 1) in the nose and made it bleed.

Thank you for your kind comments…[/quote]

That’s where I would have had a very serious time holding it together. You kid takes on a bigger kid for this ongoing name calling–and you get called. How many times did the year 3 kid’s dad get called about the name calling?

And those are not just kind words that Sandy and others handed you, and that I’m adding to. One of the reasons I might never return to Taiwan is that I don’t rellish the idea of being a single mom there. It’s hard enough here where I grew up. If I do it, I want to be working for an international school so I can teach at the same place he studies.

I’ve read your former posts about how you came to be a single dad. I’ve never in my life heard a man express such determination and dedication to fathering his child. Unfortunatly a shamefully large percentage of men would have left their sons to the mercies of others.

Happy Father’s day! (This Sunday)[/quote]

Thanks HouseCat. It is hard work, but like you say, it would be hard work back home too. I am sure you are doing a great job too. I just figure if my mom could do it by herself with 4 of us and my sister by herself with 2, I should be able to do it with just one. I really wish I could spend more time with him, but as the school hours here for him and the work hours for me here are so different, I need a babysitter during the week, then we try to do as much as we can together on the weekends. If I finish work early one day during the week, that is a blessing and I can go pick him up earlier and go to the park and play. Even though he will just run off to play with other kids, I am happy just to sit there and watch him. ANd even though the kids call him weiguoren, or meiguoren, (ha I should be more offended with that since he isn’t) he is a natural leader and he organises all the kids to play his game of ‘dung gwai’ chasings, or whatever they play these days. I am so proud of him.

With the schools, my ex-wife used to also say the same thing about TPE City vs TPE County, but I have seen some schools in Taipei City and when comparing them to my son’s school in TPE county, they are just as big and ugly, actually TPE county has more play area… but big ugly rooms with concrete floors old tables and chairs you see them in both areas. They all seem to be the same to me. And actually the kids I have taught in TPE county have been better behaved and more polite than most of the kids I have taught in TPE city, but then some of the Chinese Teachers then say it is because TPE CIty kids are spoilt, they are naughtier, amd that beacause TPE County people are poorer, the kids respect what their parents are doing for them more so are better behaved at English school.

So it is hard to work out. More name calling from TPE county because they are not in TPE City, but naugtier kids because they are in TPE City…

This is a strange old place…

35

Nah you can go gentle. My son was also called a foreigner too at times.

No big deal he learnt to tell the other kids they were just envious he didnt need to do army service and could date all the girls when his buddies were getting dear john letters :smiley: :smiley:

In anycase why hide what you are… doesnt change things… being a foreigner is also cool with many locals. When I had my son living with me for a few years as a single father there was more shit about him not having a mother than being a furriner.

36

Erh my son has jet black hair, jet black eyes and darker skin than most chinesekids.

The eyes are ( cannot say if not PC ) slanty eyed a bit more than most mixed but he’s a looker.

37

I did.[/quote]

Raising a mixed race child in Taiwan must be a hard line to walk.[/quote]

Actually its piss easy. It’s all in the attitude you have yourself.

38

[quote=“housecat”][I’ve read your former posts about how you came to be a single dad. I’ve never in my life heard a man express such determination and dedication to fathering his child. Unfortunatly a shamefully large percentage of men would have left their sons to the mercies of others.

Happy Father’s day! (This Sunday)[/quote]

Not all men are bastards eh? lol

Mostly my son would get asked where his mother was. Sometimes he would just say she’s dead or she ran away. Sometimes he would just tell them his parents were divorced and his mother was in Australia …which was the thruth of it all. Shit happens.

But often in Taiwan I would be complimented on being a single father as it is not so often seen here. Particularly when the mother is from Taiwan and she is the one who went overseas whist the furriner Dad and son stayed in Tawan…

Dissapearing moithers are a not such a bad thing as you don’t have to go thru the hell they want to inflct on their ex spouses.

39

People always ask my boy when we go out together, “where is mum, at home?”

I have told my boy to say that his mum is very busy and she works and lives in Australia. Which is true, but not the reason why she isn’t with us.

I also tell my boy not to try and worry about the people calling him foreigner or American (he has TW ID and an Australian Passport). I tell him he is the lucky one that gets to go to Australia for a month every year, he can speak two languages and most of these people will never leave HsinChuang… I tell him to just try and walk away from idiots without being rude back, (which I don’t do, but don’t let him see me being rude to idiots). I tell him he will also make lots of good friends here too, so just play with those nice kids and not the idiots. It is a difficult thing for a 7y/o to understand sometimes.

Oh, my boy will have to do military service as he is in Taiwan as a Taiwanese right now. But I plan to leave before then…

I do get complimented too when I do tell some inquisitive people that I am “li-huan”, their response is usually “ni hen hsin-koo”. I usually just say back “hsie-hsie”.

Oh, school test time is coming… that means he will have to spend extra Saturdays at Anchinban to prepare… So strange for a Year 1 kid… He will need to miss out on TaeKwonDo class and I will miss out on motorcycle racing practice… that’s life…

40

Eventually TAiwan will be like the USA. Where everyone is on their second, third, fourth or fifth marriage :slight_smile:

Seems that first marriage is just a trial.

My Dad used to say that marriages should automatically expire after five years, like drivers licenses and have to be renewed. This will put 99pct of the lawyers out of biz :slight_smile: