Foreigner tribal cliques as seen in traffic


#1

A Study of Tribes of Foreigners in Traffic:

  1. THE WILD

Wow, these ones had a lot of balls to come all the way out to exotic Southeast Asia. They were born to be wild. So it is only natural that they ride a big, ballsy motorcycle. The bigger the motorcycle, the bigger the balls. Now if your balls are even BIGGER, then you’ll ride around on your big CHOPPER without a helmet, letting your colorful foreigner hair go wild in the wind. Survey says…you are an idiot. But The Wild probably never come to Oriented.org anyway, so they’ll never know their idiocy.

  1. The Bicycles

These guys are healthy, nuts and berry granola eatin’ foreigners. Bike-riding is good exercise to complement their healthy lifestyles. The ones who don’t wear a helmet are probably the same ones who smoke.
Survey says…no helmet = you are an idiot
use helmet = you are a healthy chipper environmental-friendly foreigner.

  1. The Gone-Natives

These folks ride scooters like most everybody else in Taiwan. This tribe has several sub-species: Gone-Full-Face-Helmet-Native, Gone-Helmet-Native, and Gone-Skull-Native. The Gone-Full-Face-Helmet-Native is well equipped to learn Chinese, as her/his brain and oral cavity are both protected and can still be used to learn the language despite any other physical injuries that could occur in a traffic accident. The Gone-Helmet-Native may lose his/her face/jaw/nose in an accident, but the mind will nevertheless still be intact, so that the person in question should be able to learn to adapt to the loss of her/his face/jaw/nose/etc., etc. The Gone-Skull-Native, like his numerous Taiwanese counterparts, is in danger of losing his/her life.
Survey says… Gone-Full-Face-Helmet-Natives: be careful and always look all four ways.
Gone-Helmet-Natives: Buy “Hannibal” on DVD and watch it until you are accustomed to seeing faceless people, or buy a full face helmet - the helmet is only a little more expensive than the movie.
Gone-Skull-Natives: quit being a wimp and just go ahead and kill yourself. Why wait around for an accident? You’re boring!

  1. The MRT-Taxi

This tribe exists only in Taipei and have access an incredible transportation network consisting of the MRT and numerous taxis. They can also be considered to have “gone native” as most Taiwanese in Taipei also use the MRT and taxis. This tribe is expected to grow in population as their survival rate is very high.

  1. The Me-Have-Driver

This tribe is a very special class, somewhat like the koala in that it is given very special treatment by the locals. This tribe is very affluent and usually connected to a multi-national company which provides their employees with a personal driver. As you can notice from the tribe’s name, this tribe is usually pampered to the point that any interest in learning the Chinese language or “going native” is kept minimal. This tribe has a driver to serve as a medium and therefore needs not be troubled by any cultural assimilation. Like koalas, they are rare and admired by the locals for their affluency, help to the Taiwanese economy and they’re also great to practice English with!

  1. The Cars

What a great band! Rick Okasek - shake it up!


#2

Ooh, not only am I an idiot, but, seeing as I ride a relatively large motorcycle, I’m not even supposed to be here on Oriented. Oops.


#3

Wow! I wonder if there are any of the Me-Have-Driver tribe…


#4

Yes. I do. We have a company bus driver.


#5

Wow. Kick ass! Now you have to defy all stereotypes and tell us you’ve been studying Chinese! I’m zdubid! zdubid zdereodybing. My uncle is a big wig oil dude who lives in Norway Borway but the dude never learned a word of Norwegian cuz he didn’t need to, like you don’t need Chinese in Taiwan. Like like like, you know what i mean like like like duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.
Like I did it all in Chinese and the bartender still said “THANK…YOUUUUUUU” just because all these ugly American dykes were singing “With or Without You” so loud, like…WithOUT you, thankyou, dykies.

[fart]

Excuse me.


#6

When I used to live in Taichung, I purposely rode a 10 year old piece of sh*t scooter just not to stand out. I never understood hhoonnkkeeyyss who ride those big CHiPS ride like the wind motorcycles…are you trying to prove that we suck? Do you realize that Taiwanese people judge you because you’re riding one of those dummy giant motorcycles? Why do you want to stand out more than you already do? It’s embarrassing for other hhoonnkkeeyyss. Especially males. Like it makes you look like some I think I’m so great hhoonnkkeeyy from the wild West, comin’ over for a hot, wild ol’ time in Asia, saddle ‘em up, Paco! Especially if you’re some dirty, wild haired nutty ol’ English speakin’ wild partyin’ hhoonnkkeeyy! Then you really stand out. Do you like being so “unique”? I personally think people who like standing out here are big babies starving for attention. dummies.

oop oop


#7
quote:
Originally posted by dummy my poo poo: When I used to live in Taichung, I purposely rode a 10 year old piece of sh*t scooter just not to stand out. I never understood hhoonnkkeeyyss who ride those big CHiPS ride like the wind motorcycles...are you trying to prove that we suck? Do you realize that Taiwanese people judge you because you're riding one of those dummy giant motorcycles? Why do you want to stand out more than you already do? It's embarrassing for other hhoonnkkeeyyss. Especially males. Like it makes you look like some I think I'm so great hhoonnkkeeyy from the wild West, comin' over for a hot, wild ol' time in Asia, saddle 'em up, Paco! Especially if you're some dirty, wild haired nutty ol' English speakin' wild partyin' hhoonnkkeeyy! Then you really stand out. Do you like being so "unique"? I personally think people who like standing out here are big babies starving for attention. dummies. oop oop

Yeah, I’m sure you don’t stand out at all because you’re on a scooter.

So it’s ok if Taiwanese ride the larger bikes?

I ride a 13-year-old Yamaha RZR motorcycle because I dislike riding scooters with tiny wheels. I already get enough of sitting in a chair with little wheels on it at the office. If I’m going to ride a motorcycle, I’d rather have something I can ride, not just sit on and steer. I don’t go out of my way to stand out, but neither am I under the illusion that I can completely “blend in” by riding a scooter.


#8

Judging from the picture, I think Paogao only has medium sized balls.


#9

I’m just saying it’s an embarrassing stereotype that foreigners all ride big, manly over-the-top motorcycles. I’ve asked Taiwanese friends and if they were really candid they ALL said that they didn’t understand why foreigners had to ride big motorcycles when normal scooters are fine for everyone else. I think riding a scooter does make you blend in more, so that you don’t look like big ol’ whitey the stereotype. And, OF COURSE it doesn’t make you look Chinese when you ride a scooter, just less noticeable…it’s just like 20 year old Chinese guy in America driving a gramps-style Dodge…propelling stereotypes sucks because you’re reaffirming people’s prejudices.

pooooooooooooooop


#10

Yeah, well, I always wear a helmet, so it’s not usually that obvious that I am not physically Chinese.

I still don’t understand why you seem to think that all Taiwanese ride scooters and all foreigners ride motorcycles. That’s just not the case. I would agree with you if you said that foreigners tend to ride motorcycles more than Chinese people do. I remember when foreigners, it seemed, were all required by some sort of code to ride DT’s.

That was strange, but even just recently I’ve seen quite a lot of Taiwanese guys riding the exact same bike as I have, or at least something similar like an NSR, even though they’ve been out of production for quite a few years now. I’ve also seen quite a few foreigners riding around the city on scooters (they’re still obviously foreigners, by the way). So I have to confess I really don’t see your point here.

Now whether these foreigners have valid licenses and registration is another argument altogether. Are there any estimates on this?


#11

You know what most Taiwanese think of motorcycles rather than scooters. They are for farmers. Well not the racing bikes I guess, but the reason most Taiwanese ride is to get from one place to the other. So farmers and posties ride motorcycles and everyone else rides scooters. They are more convenient. It’s usually just the boy racers who ride the big motorcycles and of course foreigners because back home who rides a scooter? Foreigners are just not used to it.

Bri


#12

In my humble opinion, the disproportionate preference of foreigners for motorcycles vs. scooters is a result of two things: ergonomics and performance.

Anyone over 6 feet tall and weighing over 175 lbs, as do a lot of foreign males here(and some females! ), is going to feel uncomfortable on most scooters riding solo, never mind taking a passenger on the back! A motorcycle accomodates lanky laowai legs a little better, even if the motorcycle is a puny toy compared to the things we are used to riding back in the motherland.

Second, the longer wheel base of motorcycles, the larger wheels, the often better brakes (especially in the “racing” style of bikes), and the infinitely more stable, lower-centre-of-gravity seating position of motorcycles makes for a more responsive, stable ride. Scooters, with their “sit erect” seating posture, toy tires, and tiny wheelbase are just not as good as motorcyles at navigating the potholes, sudden stops, and minor bumps from other vehicles one encounters quite frequently on Taiwan roads.

For the record, I drive a Yamaha MaJESty, which is a reasonable compromise. I get to keep my feet drier when it rains than I would on a motorcyle, I still have a great front brake (the most important one), my legs can stretch a bit, and I can lean back a little. Also, the back seat is super comfortable for passengers. I used to drive around the mountains with my brother (who is built like a football player) comfortably seated on the back. He thought it was great and not uncomfortable in the least. I recommend MaJESties to anyone looking for a safe, comfortable ride.


#13

Maybe you could explain to me why Majesty riders all seem to drive so aggresively, even for Taiwanese drivers. What is it about that scooter that inspires an imperitive to go full throttle all the time and weave around even more dangerously than most scooters do? I’ve been curious about that ever since those things came out. They’re a lot bigger than most scooters, but they still have those little wheels with smaller contact patches. Is that safe?


#14

Majesty? That’s like having a golden toilet bowl…that scooter screams TRAILER PARK…or translated into Taiwan RUBBER BOOTS AND BAD TEETH…oh,not the Majesty…every time I saw a Majesty in Taichung I used to chuckle to myself and say “Oh…your Majesty!”

I mean, it’s like those ugly Darth Vader stereos with all those blinky jackpot machine lights and bulbous metallic pimples…a 15 year old 50cc is much more fashionable than the Royal Enema.

toot.


#15

Aaarghh, the Majesty. The ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in Taiwan.


#16

Oooh, cool… An I hate MaJESty thread…
(Make sure you say it right: Ma-JES-ty)
Yeah, it’s only a toy, and it isn’t as pretty as the 750cc “real” motorcycle I had in Canada, but, like I said, it has the biggest front disc of any scooter I’ve seen in Taiwan, it keeps my feet dry, the wheels are larger than other scooters and it has a lot of storage space. Basically I think of it as an underpowered Buick of scooters Another nice thing about it is the warranty. I traded my first one in after two troublefree years and am now on my second one. I’m hoping for two more troublefree years…

Poagoa, as to your question,

quote[quote]why Majesty riders all seem to drive so aggressively, even for Taiwanese drivers. What is it about that scooter that inspires an imperative to go full throttle all the time and weave around even more dangerously than most scooters do? [/quote] Well, I can’t say. I can accelerate faster than most other scooters, and I usually do, 'cuz the air at the front of the pack is better than the air at the back. I don’t like to weave around though - that’s too dangerous - it always seems to me to be an invitation to disaster… Me - I just go with the flow…

My last “real” bike in Taiwan was an RZR - I had that all tricked up (new engine, mono-suspension, rear disc, racing clutch) and raced it a few times at some track in Taoyuan a few years back,but I sold it because that bike scared me - it was far too high powered for such a light bike, and I knew that one day I might push it too far. Don’t regret getting rid of it, but I still miss it sometimes…

If there were a better alternative to the Majesty, I’d buy it. Maybe after the WTO admits Taiwan, we’ll be able to buy adult-sized transportation. I’m tired of shopping in the kid’s dep’t.

Oh, for all you true MaJESty haters: If you dislike the MaJESty, then you’ll truly loathe this: http://www.tmax500.com/


#17

Some people say that making the big bikes available in Taiwan would be a big mistake. Personally, I would be in favor of making them available as long as there were a different, more rigorous licensing system for them, and let them on the highways. My RZR is fine for me pretty much anywhere, and it’s more than fast enough for the roads here(you’re right, it does get a little shakey and light after 130), but it’s also 13 years old, and to be honest there aren’t any bikes on the market now I would want to buy, so hopefully by the time my present motorcycle reaches the end of its usefulness I will be able to purchase something in the 400-600cc range. I doubt it will happen any time soon, though.


#18

I think letting in the big bikes would be a mistake. Those race kids a dangerous enough on the small bikes.

maoman, I still don’t see how you can ride something so ugly but I get your point about the convenience of the scooter but wanting the bigger wheels etc. What about those new scooters (mostly blue yamahas) that are made out to look like off-road bikes. I’m interested in trying one. The tires are definitely fatter (which means safer), and there’s more metal to plastic in the construction and they seem to have good suspension. But they might alll be 50ccs. Do they have 125cc versions? Anyone tried one?

Bri


#19

Hello people HELLO!!!

There is no safe motorcycle/scooter! What makes you think that it’s gonna be “safer” if you ride a bigger bike? It just means you’re gonna ram into someone else faster or plow under a truck more quickly…scooters/motorycycles are just plain dangerous and anyone riding one in Taipei is just plain NUTS.

toot


#20

Well, bigger is not necessarily faster. The Yamaha FZ and FZR are both larger and heavier bikes, and both are quite slow. Even 50cc scooters that weigh practically nothing can sprint from 0 to 60-70 pretty quickly.
Granted, they aren’t safe. None of them are safe. But within all the kinds of bikes, there are some perhaps less dangerous than others. Inertia is good when colliding with another scooter. If a 50cc Dio and I bump in traffic, he is more likely to take a spill, although both of us are likely going down. Small difference, but there it is. Contact patch is also a good thing to have more of, more contact with the ground usually means better traction and more control. Disc brakes are a must, at least on the front wheel. Wide tires are better too. Not getting carried away with emotions in traffic is a good thing…I agree that motorcycles and scooters are dangerous, but there’s precautions one can take.
I once refused to sell my motorcycle to a guy just off the boat here. He got really angry but I insisted he learn to ride here first and then I would sell it to him. He refused, and a month later he was dead in a traffic accident.
Scooters are so easy to ride, almost push-button-like, it makes it seem too easy, I think.