Forget Beijing...Taipei City Olympic Events

I’d like to start a list of events that could be held in Taipei as related to our daily lives…

For instance:

Sidewalk Pairs Skating - Nothing like slipping and sliding on tiled walkways after a good rain. Scores based on style, friction, and ability to remain on feet.

800 m Dash - from the red line to the blue line at Taipei Main Station…human hurdles optional during rush hours.

Garbage Bag Shotput - since Taiwan offers that rare opportunity to haul your own trash to the garbage trucks.

Flooded Gutter Long Jump - From the corner of the sidewalk into the street without getting drenched.

Feel free to add your own events!

Scooter Dual Slalom

Betel Nut Girl Pairs Gymnastics (I am a carded judge in this event)

Sino-Taiwanese Wrestling…same as Greco-Roman, only 9 against 1

Sychronized Wading

These are just off the top off my head…great thread ImaniOU…I was really bored today and now I can work my twisted little mind around this…at least until CSI Miami comes on at 7 and check out The Skulls on E-Movies at 9…

Love Toe on the Couch

Bus Surfing.

Rush hour, off-peak, hands-free and “with strap/ring” divisions.

Actually we used to do this in Georgetown, where the cobblestone streets added greatly to the difficulty ratings of our performances. :laughing:

Rather like Olympic ice skating in that points are awarded for style and artistry rather than pure athletic prowess;
Binlang Juice Spitting
Points for distance, ornamental value of resulting stain and overall ‘attitude’.

Well, naturally you would have the artistry marks, but there would also be compulsory exercises where spitters had to spit through rings, make a certain distance, etc. After all we have to uphold the high standard of the sport.

And for the pure power spitters, the equivalent of the speed-skating event: distance spitting.

The Enter the Elevator Obstacle Course

The Long Distance Neighbor Yell

Ah, the Ultimate Karaoke Contest…see how many different keys you can sing in within one song. I swear the people at Bitan who used to wake me up on Saturday mornings from across the river have already begun their training…

The Cannonball Run - aka How fast can u get to work on a scooter?

Synchronised spitting would be a nice team event…

okay…this in in really bad taste, so I am warning you in advance…don’t read further if you are gonna be offended and yell at me…chalk it up to laughing at what is too painful to actually accept…

Ready??? Here goes…

Was the woman who started that fire auditioning for the torch relay?

Okay…I am :smiling_imp: sick :smiling_imp: and I need help…I freely admit it…so please go easy on me…

[quote=“Toe Save”]

Was the woman who started that fire auditioning for the torch relay?

Okay…I am :smiling_imp: sick :smiling_imp: and I need help…I freely admit it…so please go easy on me…[/quote]

That was pretty bad. You need help, sad that I am not qualified to provide it.

As for events, how about the motor scooter dash. No false starts, in fact, starting early is rewarded.

That woman gets no sympathy from me. Because of her lack of self control, which I regard as a form of immature selfishness, she endangered and indeed harmed x number of people.

I hope she is physically scarred to remind her and others of her selfish act and that she lives the rest of her worthless life in guilt-ridden misery.

I cannot tolerate a lack of self control.

At least today, my neighborhood is qualified to host the swimming events. If it keeps raining, we could also do the sailing ones.

well, I just thought of an event…

Bookstore patron slalom. To be held at Eslite (Dunhwa branch) on a saturday afternoon at 3 pm. First person to get in to the store, find the flag and return it to the cash register, while clearing the 45-50 patrons reading while sitting on the steps, the floor, the railings… wins the gold. Points will be deducted for knocking down a slalom pole, I mean person.

The smack-the-the-passengers-with-your-backpack-as-you-try-to-maneuver-yourself-on-the-MRT obstacle course.

The Sidewalk Obstacle Course - See how fast you can run through three rows of scooters parked on the sidewalk without bumping into any of them.

With a related event - scooter hurdling (including versions where the scooters are moving and where they are stationary).

Typhoon swimming in the flooded MRT station

Speed Vending…points for creativity in how you can close shop quickly and get the merchandise back in your car when the police show up. Carpets, blankets, and briefcases are welcome.

Legislative Yuan chair and cell-phone toss.