Friends with an ex?

Can we be friends with an ex?

What do you guys think?

yes my ex and i are very good friends.

apart 3 years already but still good friends. We dont interfere in each others business.

Sure. I don’t see why not but I don’t see why you want that. Specially if her presence make you new girl uncomfortable.

very true, no matter what you say, your new partner will never believe you have no intentions of getting back with an ex or sleeping with him/her as the case may be.

so you have to keep it top secret

well, I guess it’s possible, but it’s likely to backfire. As others mention, your new gf might have an issue with it… not to mention, you ex might start imagining things.

I suggest to wait like… 10 years and then try :smiley:

[quote=“mukashi”]well, I guess it’s possible, but it’s likely to backfire. As others mention, your new gf might have an issue with it… not to mention, you ex might start imagining things.

I suggest to wait like… 10 years and then try :smiley:[/quote]

each relationship can vary. Sometimes the two of you are not together due to extenuating circumstances beyond your control. So that the two of you cant be together, but sometimes the freindship is there and is still of value.

Obviously probably not going out with each other. At least not on a regular basis, but each relationship is different.

Eventually you will have to wean yourselves off of each other and cling only to your sig other.

For me, I usually have no interest in them afterward, whether sexual interest or personal, so I would say no.

However if you can lose any romantic interest in them and strictly keep it friendly, you are a rare one and I say go for it, why not.

I have yet to make it work.

I had two significant SOs before I met and later married my wife.

The first (SO1) was my girl from middle school through high school and into university, and the second (SO2) was my girl the last two years of university. I have remained friends with SO1 for many years and my wife has met SO1 a number of times. In fact, when my wife and I were last in Miami two years ago, SO1 came and stayed with us one night. SO2 lived with me and she also knew SO1. We all used to go see Grateful Dead shows together. Great fun!

SO2 and I mutually broke up after my graduation in 1985 because I was coming to Taiwan and SO2 wanted nothing to do with Taiwan. There was no social media back then, and we barely saw each other, even when I went home for more school. I did introduce my wife to SO2 way back in 1989, but, I lost touch with SO2 when my wife and I returned to Taiwan in 1995.

Just two weeks ago SO2 contacted me on Face Book and we are now friends again. We’ve caught up on line and have arranged to get together in August when I return home for a visit. We’re finally going to return to each other some of the stuff we both ended up with when I left the US for Taiwan in 1985!

I don’t see why people cannot remain friends with exes, provided the relationships were mature and honest.

Perfect time to share this video.

Would you like your GF keep been friends with her ex??

Lil Dicky - Ex-Boyfriend (Official Video) NSFW

Edit: NSFW

In addition to what Tigerman said, it can also work if the relationship was never that good solely because you were in a relationship with each other. I have an ex where the dynamic was terrible as lovers but we are brilliant friends. Some relationships can be toxic, even when neither party is a particularly toxic person. Some metals just don’t sit well with other metals.
And sometimes time can help, because when you meet again you have different lives and the things that attracted you to each other, aside from the physical, can still be there.

Sometimes you wanna make friends with the ex to try to figure out why they dumped you. If you being dumped is the case. That can be hard, especially if the reasons are ones you don’t want to hear.

So yes you can be friends with an ex…but you have to consider why you broke up and why you wish to retain a friendship.

I think it is easier to stay friends if you don’t see each other every other day or something. Me and my ex stayed pretty close friends because we were in different cities (and later different countries). Long distance was what broke us up in the first place, but after getting over it, it wasn’t hard to stay friends, because she was my best friend to begin with.

Having said that, I don’t think staying friends was exactly healthy for me. I used to spend hours talking to her on the phone, and then when I moved back to Taiwan, hours chatting online. It’s not because I was still in love with her or anything, after a while (6 years) I noticed that she has changed a lot over time, and not the same person I fell in love with. But it is really easy just being friend. So easy to the point that I have very low motivation to meet or even chat online with anyone else. That’s where the unhealthyness comes in.

So if that’s the kind of friendship you have with your ex, you might want to keep a farther distance, maybe just say hi once or twice a month or something. In the long run, it’s the better thing to do.

In the end, I made it a point to try not contacting her unless she contacts me. Eventually when she got busy with her life (happily married), she stopped contacting me at all… now I just try to say hi over the holidays.

[quote=“Tigerman”]I had two significant SOs before I met and later married my wife.

The first (SO1) was my girl from middle school through high school and into university, and the second (SO2) was my girl the last two years of university. I have remained friends with SO1 for many years and my wife has met SO1 a number of times. In fact, when my wife and I were last in Miami two years ago, SO1 came and stayed with us one night. SO2 lived with me and she also knew SO1. We all used to go see Grateful Dead shows together. Great fun!

SO2 and I mutually broke up after my graduation in 1985 because I was coming to Taiwan and SO2 wanted nothing to do with Taiwan. There was no social media back then, and we barely saw each other, even when I went home for more school. I did introduce my wife to SO2 way back in 1989, but, I lost touch with SO2 when my wife and I returned to Taiwan in 1995.

Just two weeks ago SO2 contacted me on Face Book and we are now friends again. We’ve caught up on line and have arranged to get together in August when I return home for a visit. We’re finally going to return to each other some of the stuff we both ended up with when I left the US for Taiwan in 1985!

I don’t see why people cannot remain friends with exes, provided the relationships were mature and honest.[/quote]

I have an almost identical story, except it ended in 2004, not 1985, and I’m closer with SO2 and not SO1 (with whom there is a teeny bit of tension since I dumped her). I’ve always thought of my girlfriends as the best-of-best-friends, but called things off when we both realized it wouldn’t work out in the long run. SO1 was unrealistic and wanted to make things work despite all the signs, which sort of forced my hand; SO2 and I broke up because we graduated, but have remained friends since. As long as you treat each other with respect and end things on agreeable terms, there is no reason you shouldn’t stay friends. After all, there was something that drew you guys together as friends in the first place, so remember that all men and all women are, at their core, just human beings.

(Addendum: It was, however, super awkward to introduce my current girlfriend (marriage material) to SO2 because one speaks no Chinese and one speaks no English… Ahh, living in Asia problems.)

I’m not sure how you can hold a conversation with someone who used to have your penis in her mouth. I’d struggle to keep a straight face.

:laughing: There is so much wrong with that.

As Tigerman said, if you have a mature and honest relationship. Well. It’s something I aspire to. Two hate me after I ‘objected strongly’ to their bad behaviour and there was fallout (for them, not me). I’M NOT SORRY.

One, I was friends with for ages after he dumped me and cheated on me, but really I just wanted to talk to him because the sad thing was, I don’t really get on with most people, the way I got on with him. I cut it off because it hurt to see his baby pictures and stuff like that. I still miss him, but now its just nostalgia. He’s not a likeable guy, really.

Guys that I have left, I’m not generally friends with because I left them because I didn’t like them anymore.

One of my best friends in the world is my first boyfriend.

hopefully with gratitude, because that person could have ended your life, but instead that person kept mouth opened…

i’ve been told it’s a task which makes facial muscles very sore.

Maybe tom has an especially comical penis. :smiley:

Really, it’s better if no one is struggling to keep a straight face, when vestments have been removed.

[/quote]

Oh my goodness, thank you for posting this!!! It took me right back to the early 90’s, I remember when this came out (and I had completely forgotten about it!). Absolutely hilarious. :laughing: