Funny lists

Things to do on an elevator

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: ‘Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!’
Whistle the first seven notes of ‘It’s a Small World’ incessantly.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: ‘Got enough air in there?’
Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: ‘I’ve got new socks on!’
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Walk on with a cooler that says ‘human head’ on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce ‘You’re one of THEM!’ and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask ‘Is that your beeper?’
Say ‘Ding!’ at each floor.
Say ‘I wonder what all these do’ and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your ‘personal space.’
Announce in a demonic voice: ‘I must find a more suitable host body.’
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.