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That’s ancient! If my account were ancient enough to have been here when it was new, I’d probably be zapping it to Repostland.
Ok, that’s wrong. I have a bullshit job but it’s describable in 3 words.
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Hot male escort? 
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I wish. “Porn star” would do (beating the rule by one word), but that was just a one-off. My day to day job is different, yet still describable in 3 words.
Edit: wait, I think it would be “I did porn”, so it’s not better. Sorry.
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“I watch porn”?
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… and then scratch on the door to be let back in again.
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I’d be rich if I got paid for that 
But wait, isn’t this the wrong thread for stuff like this?
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That’s kind of subjective. Our minds have all been warped by now. Who can say where Rule 34 ends and Rule 35 begins? 
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