A bunch of us Canuckleheads get together for some hockey every Tuesday night and finish off the evening with the swilling of some street beers and the swapping of stories in the main square of the 'ding. Last night the conversation turned towards inept cops as one of my buddies began relating a story about how he got jumped by 4 Taiwanese with bats while flagging a cab by Living Hell Mall a couple of years ago, and us old timers basically saying to the n00bs don’t get involved in anything you see going down cuz there are likely 20 heros about to arrive.
On cue, 4 or 5 local high school aged students chase 2 or 3 others into the square (in front of Watsons) and the dance begins. And we, true to our word, just watch. But as it starts to get out of hand (4 on 1) we start to step towards the melee.
Before we get 1 and a half steps, 3 car loads of punks (at least 10) jump out with pipes the rampage becomes something you’d only see in movies like Clockwork Orange. Remember, we are right across form a big police station.
Which, after hearing us yell for them (jo yi yi JO YI YI), slowly empties and Taipei’s finest begin meandering, slowly ambling towards the scene. The beatings are still going on downed guys and the cops are still tortoising their way over. Finally the bitches see them coming and flee for their cars and into the 'ding. We are yelling at the the thin blue line and pointing at the cars. One has began to back up and three cops pull their guns and surround it. One other cop, gun also drawn, steps in front of the 2nd car, not allowing it to go forward lest it be through him and the standoff begins. Hero ain’t getting out of the car and cop isn’t moving from in front.
Remember earlier in the story, where we were talking about not getting involved in things? One of our young players decides to take it on himself to get the guys outta car number two and starts reefing on the passenger door, slamming it into one of those cement stanchions that border the square. Cop still there with gun drawn, watching a big nose get involved. We are all yelling at our buddy to get the fack outta there and after a few more door slams, he finally gets the message. But not all of it.
He’s got it now though. We lit him up for his stupidity. He is lucky the cop didn’t put a cap in his ass.
And before any of you go all Canuckist on this story, he is our only Yank on Ice.
Anyway, crazy shit. I left as the ambulance was pulling up.
These days I’d watch, or walk away.