Is it wrong that I have gay friends I’m close to, and I don’t hate gays or oppose gay marriage but seeing of the idea of gay people being intimate really puts me off. Like I don’t want to say gross. But it’s difficult to think about it.
[color=#008040]Moderator’s note: SPLIT from “New gay novel”[/color]
Not wrong, just a little childish. Y’know, it’s not compulsory to think about other people having sex and it’s actually more fun to think about yourself having sex. 
Says the man whose avatar is flipping us all off…
look closely at the background…
I personally feel a bit uncomfortable if anyone, straight or gay, is intimate near me, whether it’s friends in a bar or a couple of teens on the MRT. But that’s me being a bit old-fashioned, and it’s totally my problem and my issue, and has nothing to do with them. I consider it a childish personal hang-up that I’d like to get over and one day perhaps I will, sort of like how I feel about eating slices of tomato.
I used to be homophobic because as a kid I often went to see movies alone in Hsi Men Ting. And of course that is a trolling ground for gay men. Sometimes a gay (probably) guy would come over and sit next to me in the theatre. Thinking i was perhaps gay. But they never really bothered me actually.
Since I moved to the bay area, I have come to realize that homosexuals are exactly the same as people as the rest of us .
I worked with a gay man and a gay woman. And they were real pals of mine.
Once you have friends who are gay , you come to realize that other then their sexual orientation, they are just people.
It doesn’t bother me if a some people hug and kiss around me. I think more people should hug and kiss in the street.
I think back to my primo amore , when we used to do that ! I basically think : “aww so cute” 
Yeah, I had that too. Got educated parents-wise that being gay is okay, but it was still something “strange” or whatever. So while my mind said gays are just normal people I still had this “ayoooo” - feeling whenever two guys were hugging etc.
Vanished with the coming out of a good friend and watching a lot of Glee 
1 Like
[quote=“Andrew0409”]Is it wrong that I have gay friends I’m close to, and I don’t hate gays or oppose gay marriage but seeing of the idea of gay people being intimate really puts me off. Like I don’t want to say gross. But it’s difficult to think about it.
[color=#008040]Moderator’s note: SPLIT from “New gay novel”[/color][/quote]
I think the way you presented it is perfectly normal and not ‘wrong.’ I feel Ermintrude’s response is spot on. For example, you love your parents but, good god, you don’t want to imagine them having sex! Same with senior citizens (I can say that because I’m getting up there in years 
).
I’m gay, but it doesn’t mean I feel comfortable with every kind of sex out there. There are some kinds of kink–gay, straight and whatever–that make me shudder to think about them. If I happen to stumble upon it on the Internet, I click away as quickly as possible. Yeah, some types of sex are distasteful to me, but I don’t oppose people wanting to do them (adult sex I’m talking about), and I’ll still be your friend if you’re into it…I just don’t care to participate or watch.
Just gays? What about lesbians?
Chances are it’s just our brain has been conditioned to feel that way since childhood by people who wish everyone stays that way. I have friends who are gay and came out in high school, so I have been supportive of gay rights since in high school. However, I admit I felt shocked when I first saw two bald men frenching in public while I was in college. As I thought about the issue over the years, I now treat it the same as seeing heterosexual PDA.
Whether or not we can cast aside that pre-conditioning is probably less of a choice though. I know very pro-Taiwan independence people who till this day can’t shake the conditioning of saying “we Chinese” and “the entire province”.
I personally feel a bit uncomfortable if anyone, straight or gay, is intimate near me, whether it’s friends in a bar or a couple of teens on the MRT. But that’s me being a bit old-fashioned, and it’s totally my problem and my issue, and has nothing to do with them. I consider it a childish personal hang-up that I’d like to get over and one day perhaps I will, sort of like how I feel about eating slices of tomato.[/quote]
Here, here. And I come from a culture known for its… openness… meaning tonsil ping pong in public spaces. But things have changed, and last visits I realized people are more puritanical -US influence perhaps? Heck, now people there complain when women take boobies out in public to feed kids. Back when I was younger, you’d ride on the bus next to a baby having breakfast.
I guess it depends. Are we talking the dance floor, a bar? Then, maybe, perhaps, as we could call that “deal negotiation”. But parks, schools, streets, public transport: nope, nope, nope. One quick, sweet sugar, yes. A friendly pat in the rump: Ok. Exploratory missions into Mars and Venus in PUBLIC: Nope! Doesn’t matter if it is straight, gay, young or old, your parents or total strangers: NOPE!
Personally, I do mind what we call “eating bread in front of hungry people” syndrome, not to mention certain actions -such as hands anywhere inside clothes that is not your own clothes’ pockets- are problematic. Eeek. I put it in the same department as when people dig boogers and then hold bus/MRT rails. Yuck.
[quote=“Andrew0409”]Is it wrong that I have gay friends I’m close to, and I don’t hate gays or oppose gay marriage but seeing of the idea of gay people being intimate really puts me off. Like I don’t want to say gross. But it’s difficult to think about it.
[color=#008040]Moderator’s note: SPLIT from “New gay novel”[/color][/quote]
I know how you feel, I have the same reaction to white people being intimate. I just try not to think about it.
Yeah, I’m not one for public displays of lust, although I can handle displays of affection ( holding hands and the occasional peck on the cheek) from anyone (gay or straight), after all…love is a beautiful thing!
I do admit that thinking about hetero acts such as cunnilingus make me cringe, however, I don’t think about cunnilingus when I’m rimming (In fact, I don’t think about cunnilingus at all, unless I see a simulation of the act on TV), so it’s really a non-issue.
Spare a though to all us poor gays who are constantly bombarded with hetero sex on TV and movies !
Ah…I miss Queer As Folk, which set a new standard, which few have dared to follow. Instead we are still getting “safe” vanilla gays and their almost platonic TV relationships, or a lot of grunts in a dark tent.
Just a stray thought here. We have a lot of (simulated ) hetero sexual sex in movies. Are there a lot of “gay” movies that have this (simulated) homosexual sex?
If not, perhaps there should be? For those that are of that “persuasion”.
I still don’t really get what his problem is.
Is it just that the thought of “gay people” doing anything sexual puts him off?
Isn’t that really prejudicial?
So he’s saying that any kind of “intimate” action, if straight people do it, it’s OK?
Like if a man and a lady have bum bum sexy, it’s OK, but if two dudes do it, it “puts him off”.
Or if a man and a lady visitate oral privileges upon each other’s squidgy bits, that’s OK in his book.
But if two ladies or gentlemen perform the exact same activity, he can’t handle it?
I certainly hope he isn’t going to cite some kind of classification system in which certain techniques and practices are relegated to some arbitrary “gay sex” paradigm.
Because if he is, hoo boy, Jim, step into the 80s. 
I have no problem with gay people. My first group of friends moving back to Taiwan was mostly gay Europeans. We do the cheek kiss things when we greet each other. I’ve been to gay clubs with them, one of the is a bdsm gay night club. I even help organize gay parties at different clubs around Taipei. But I guess in my mind 2 man being intimate is just, i don’t want to say strange or weird, but just it just doesn’t feel comfortable. I would say I was much more close minded before, but I’ve been much open minded since meeting and having gay friends. But I’m still not fully comfortable with the idea of 2 man being intimate, and that just where I’m at right now. Maybe it’ll change one day, but for now, it’s just where I’m at.
I don’t have a problem with hetero people either, I’ve got a few hetero friends, and I accept them lovingly for who and what they are. I’ve even had some stay in the spare room in my house, and they actually had heterosexual sex in that room!
You don’t have to feel comfortable with gay sex, as I wrote, I dont feel comfortable with hetero sex either.
I really don’t see the purpose of your post. You’re allowed to feel comfortable with whatever YOU want, why is that even an issue ?
[quote=“John”]I don’t have a problem with hetero people either, I’ve got a few hetero friends, and I accept them lovingly for who and what they are. I’ve even had some stay in the spare room in my house, and they actually had heterosexual sex in that room!
You don’t have to feel comfortable with gay sex, as I wrote, I don’t feel comfortable with hetero sex either.
I really don’t see the purpose of your post. You’re allowed to feel comfortable with whatever YOU want, why is that even an issue ?[/quote]
I didn’t make it a post. It was a comment on another subject that a mod made a thread.
Actually, it was a completely off-topic post (comment) in the Gay Novel thread, which is why it got split.
[quote=“Andrew0409”]Is it wrong that I have gay friends I’m close to, and I don’t hate gays or oppose gay marriage but seeing of the idea of gay people being intimate really puts me off. Like I don’t want to say gross. But it’s difficult to think about it.
[color=#008040]Moderator’s note: SPLIT from “New gay novel”[/color][/quote]
What kind of gay people doing what kind of intimate and where??? Is someone doing something inappropriate in an inappropriate place or what?
It is not wrong to have your own feelings or thoughts about it or anything else that someone does.
[quote=“tango42”]
It is not wrong to have your own feelings or thoughts about it or anything else that someone does.[/quote]
Sh*t. So I watched all that Glee totally in vain.