In General no, but I am polite as Japanese I would not said what your friend wanted. Your “friend” should of you, say your non local and does not know this greeting. My good and even just not close friends say it all the time and will sometimes tell me (or I hear them talking), and just move on. On a side note, even if she/he looks good I am careful to say something about people’s outlook.
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Telling someone you don’t know or are not hitting on that they are beautiful is just creepy.
I think if a small child (elementary aged or below) said “you’re so beautiful” to me out of the blue, I would accept it, because children are children and they see the world very differently than adults. They have a very different idea of beauty and also have no filter. But to demand someone tell you they’re beautiful? Inappropriate and incredibly vain at any age.
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After 5 years here, I still get embarrassed when another man tells me I’m cute or handsome. I know they’re trying to be flattering, but it’s very uncomfortable. Am I supposed to tell them they’re cute/handsome back? Usually I say “thanks” and awkwardly try to change the topic to anything else.
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Yeah, I could never bring myself to say “you too” either. Fortunately it seems to be happening less and less over time. (Wait… 
)
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Wow, I learned so much in this thread. As an American women, I have always felt super uncomfortable with old Taiwanese men telling my husband how lucky he is to be married to such a beautiful women, whenever I was introduced to them at business functions. I always assumed it was a generational thing and a lack of understanding that women can have value above their looks, but after reading this thread, I’m happy to learn it’s just a cultural thing that Taiwanese women expect.
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I no longer get told “You’re so handsome”.
You’ll miss it when it stops.
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its a cultural thing to compliment on looks even for younger men. Like aunty’s will always say “hey handsome” to boys as a form of hello, its not meant to be creepy like it would in the west. People value looks here more, like when they point them themselves they point at their face not their chest like they do in the west. Look at all the beauty products everywhere and the isles of sun block
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They used to tell me I look like George Clooney. Now they tell me I look like Robbie Williams. It’s only a matter of time before they tell me I look like Steve Buscemi…
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I started at Mr. Bean.
I’m afraid of what comes next…
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If one has lived in China Korea Japan Taiwan for even a few months, then nothing I say is news to him or her
Face is not good old fashioned manners. If it were, it would not have a special name. Face is the veneer. Sometimes the outside matches the inside. Sometimes not
Even good old fashioned manners go by a special name eg Minnesota nice and similar labels. Minnesota nice is a veneer of friendliness
Face and character are 2 different things. Orientals (JP CN TW KO ) can do something morally wrong without qualms but don’t like being found out(Face). (To use the term ‘Asian’ to assuage the gentle PC, woke crowd would be over broad; we’re not discussing Turks). The NYT columnist Thomas Friedman calls Chinese society a low trust society. Scamming is facilitated by people caring more about the facade of honesty than actual honesty
If you want to get along in Face societies you need to give Face.
Face seems pathological to some Westerners. But that judgement while true leave aside empathy. If you lived amongst 1.7-1.8 billion people you too might care about standing out. We are ants (in the big scheme of the universe) but we like to feel important anyway
They are also giving the husband Face. In Chinese society a guy might talk about his accomplishments. In America we might inwardly roll our eyes. In China, one must ooh and aah at the list of accomplishments. Is the oohing and aging like patting a dog? Yeah. People in a dense population may need more strokes
Thank you for your reply. I’ve lived in both Japan and Taiwan, so I do get what face is. Japan, for example, delineates further into public face and private face (Honne and tatemae). I was talking about ‘my’ understanding of face. I don’t play those face games.
I’m English, I don’t give people face. But I will show them good manners.
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Mr. Refried Bean obviously
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Great point
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Thanks for sharing the story. That is truly one messed up situation. I think those of us who’ve been here for a while would find that this is out of the ordinary.
Do I give face? Certainly so, but not in terms of flattery regarding appearance. Overlooking mistakes, forgiving or ignoring late replies from superiors, give me the benefit of the doubt to colleagues who actually don’t know what they’re talking about, these are all ways of giving face in my opinion.
I’m not convinced, honestly, if the kind of flattery which was expected in the OP’s scenario is what is considered to be face in the first place. Certainly abstaining from giving unwarranted flattery should not be a loss of face. I guess this is where individual differences trump cultural differences. The rich woman sounds like a basket case and your friend sounds like he’s mixing with the wrong crowd.
I’ve only been told once in Taiwan that I have good face. Apparently it was because it was carrying around a bag of golf clubs, and some store vender was trying to compliment me, literally saying I had good face.
Commenting on appearance, from my personal point of view is inappropriate, unless you are very good friends or close to the person. As most of you will notice, the closer you get to a person the more likely they are too speak the truth (you’re too fat, you gained weight during the summer, that shirt doesn’t suit you, etc.).
As @nz mentioned, kids have no filter and they say things regarding our appearance, flattering otherwise. In my personal case, only kids and old grannies have anything nice to say about my appearance. Conversely, I would consider it to be quite taboo, based on my background in early childhood education, to make these kind of remarks regarding a child’s appearance. It’s completely cringe-worthy to me to hear people talk about how cute or beautiful a child is, especially in the child’s presence. Beauty is not earned, it’s not something one achieves, and therefore it’s nothing that brings about any meaningful praise. For kids, I’m more likely to praise them on their performance, manners, creativity, or other achievements. Never on their appearance. As for the grannies, well, I just throw them some Taiwanese and there chuffed to bits.
Then again maybe I’m fishing with the wrong bait. It’s worth a try going around to calling random woman beautiful if it puts an end to my lonely bachelor existence.
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Manners vary by culture. I would argue that face - at least not causing someone to lose face - is part of good manners in Taiwan.
I’d go with, “You need to travel more.”
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There’s many possible replies to this. I’m not sure whether to go with:
“Great advice during our COVID time when travel is essentially shut down.”
Or
“Hopefully not to parts of Africa, Russia or the American south where he’s liable to get knocked out or worse for calling another man ‘cute’….”
Or
“Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?
”
I think I’ll just stick with my ‘thanks.’