Suprising someone with something isn’t a cultural thing, but rather an indication of the personality. I could count on my fingers,and toes 5x’s over how many times i have seen on American talk shows, read in American magazines, and hear from other woman how unspontanous their man is. Look ladies, stop looking for that MAN. You know the ‘man’ that is in the movies, books, magazines, YOUR IMAGINATION. And love what you got. Or get rid of him and find what you want. Truth be told, I am sick of men being picked apart for not being this or that enough. If you want your man to do these things for you, then verballize it. Clue him in to what makes you tick, instead of WAITING and being all put off by the fact that he doesn’t do it. Otherwise, he’s gonna keep on doing what he’s doing because men think “if it aint broke, don’t fix it”
[quote=“Namahottie”]
Suprising someone with something isn’t a cultural thing, but rather an indication of the personality. I could count on my fingers,and toes 5x’s over how many times I have seen on American talk shows, read in American magazines, and hear from other woman how unspontanous their man is. Look ladies, stop looking for that MAN. You know the ‘man’ that is in the movies, books, magazines, YOUR IMAGINATION. And love what you got. Or get rid of him and find what you want. Truth be told, I am sick of men being picked apart for not being this or that enough. If you want your man to do these things for you, then verballize it. Clue him in to what makes you tick, instead of WAITING and being all put off by the fact that he doesn’t do it. Otherwise, he’s gonna keep on doing what he’s doing because men think “if it aint broke, don’t fix it”[/quote]
:bravo:
Suprising someone with something isn’t a cultural thing, but rather an indication of the personality. I could count on my fingers,and toes 5x’s over how many times I have seen on American talk shows, read in American magazines, and hear from other woman how unspontanous their man is. Look ladies, stop looking for that MAN. You know the ‘man’ that is in the movies, books, magazines, YOUR IMAGINATION. And love what you got. Or get rid of him and find what you want. Truth be told, I am sick of men being picked apart for not being this or that enough. If you want your man to do these things for you, then verballize it. Clue him in to what makes you tick, instead of WAITING and being all put off by the fact that he doesn’t do it. Otherwise, he’s gonna keep on doing what he’s doing because men think “if it aint broke, don’t fix it”[/quote]
Bravo! Bravo! You kick ass! :bravo: 
:bravo:
Suprising someone with something isn’t a cultural thing, but rather an indication of the personality. I could count on my fingers,and toes 5x’s over how many times I have seen on American talk shows, read in American magazines, and hear from other woman how unspontanous their man is. Look ladies, stop looking for that MAN. You know the ‘man’ that is in the movies, books, magazines, YOUR IMAGINATION. And love what you got. Or get rid of him and find what you want. Truth be told, I am sick of men being picked apart for not being this or that enough. If you want your man to do these things for you, then verballize it. Clue him in to what makes you tick, instead of WAITING and being all put off by the fact that he doesn’t do it. Otherwise, he’s gonna keep on doing what he’s doing because men think “if it aint broke, don’t fix it”[/quote]
Word! :bravo:
eh. They’ll all figure it out when they’re all whizzled old divorced hags wondering what happened to the salad days. How many times have I heard from my ex-gfs, “you remember when I told you…’…bliggity blargh blargh?’ Well that was your hint! You didn’t pick up on it! You don’t even care!”
Umm hate to break it to you, but this does sound like you don’t care :s
It’s true. I hear the same speech from my bitter middle aged divorced co-worker giving advice to the younger female co-workers all the time. I just hate racking my memory for
“the time I said I like this kind of perfume, but then when my birthday came around you didn’t even remember that. Even though I refused to tell you what I wanted, by gawd you should have known and you never do anything spontanious…”
after a while you do just stop caring.
[quote=“AndyO”]It’s true. I hear the same speech from my bitter middle aged divorced co-worker giving advice to the younger female co-workers all the time. I just hate racking my memory for
“the time I said I like this kind of perfume, but then when my birthday came around you didn’t even remember that. Even though I refused to tell you what I wanted, by gawd you should have known and you never do anything spontanious…”
after a while you do just stop caring.[/quote]
No it just sounds like apathy…
[quote=“AndyO”]It’s true. I hear the same speech from my bitter middle aged divorced co-worker giving advice to the younger female co-workers all the time. I just hate racking my memory for
“the time I said I like this kind of perfume, but then when my birthday came around you didn’t even remember that. Even though I refused to tell you what I wanted, by gawd you should have known and you never do anything spontanious…”
after a while you do just stop caring.[/quote]
If you listened to her in the first place…!!! Girls give a LOT of hints. The man who keeps the girl is the one who listens. My pain in the ass boyfriend picked up a honeycomb for me when he was down south. I hadn’t even remembered telling him how much I love honey combs. But he listened. And this is part of the reason I am good to him. Women won’t be good to you if you are not good to them and to be good to a woman you have to listen to her.
You say after a while you stop caring, but the fact that you aren’t listening in the first place makes it seem like you never cared.
And a man who seems like he does not care will not have a woman who treats him well. Even if she treats her previous well, she won’t treat the one who seems uncaring welll.
[quote=“SuchAFob”]
My pain in the ass boyfriend picked up a honeycomb for me [/quote]
Good old Music. Sure sounds like he’s a guy who knows how to listen.
Then again, he may have just gotten lucky. After all, who doesn’t like honeycombs?
[quote=“SuchAFob”]
Girls give a LOT of hints. The man who keeps the girl is the one who listens. [/quote]
Please, what is so difficult about just SAYING what you want? That’s what words are good for. Seriously, I don’t get it. You want a honeycomb, tell me so and I will be more than happy to buy one.
But what is it with all those hints? Isn’t life complicated enough for you people? Do you have the faintest of ideas how unnerving it can be to pay attention to your every word just to pick up some vague hint? I’ve had enough of it, you hear me? ENOUGH!
Ah, I feel so much better now…
I didn’t ask for a honey comb because I didn’t want one. It is just that he brought me one after me saying I liked them. And we don’t come out and ask for shit because then you guys calls us demanding and high upkeep.
As opposed to manipulating and conniving? 
.
This argument is about as old as the mountains though but unfortunately it’s also true. Most of the women I’ve dated do this regularly, I dunno about you but riddles were fun for about 10 minutes back when I was … oh say 8 years old.
Having to deal with this as an adult is tiresome, since you’re always off balance because they’re never consistent. No means yes and yes means no and on other days it’s the other way around :loco: . Then again mebbe I should stop dating whackos.
We aren’t talking about it being that far. The example in question with the bitter man’s post was about a girl pointing out to him near her birthday how much she liked a perfume. That is a “duh” moment.
Most of us don’t do this subtly. We say “Oh, I like this perfume.” With the bottle in our hands. And then we mention it again several times. “I really like this perfume” “Sweety, do you think that perfume smelled good”
It isn’t a riddle. It isn’t even close to a riddle. And I have never seen a man not get it at the time. It is just that some of them don’t remember…
And you always remember things that are important to you…
And for the record, I do this too. And I have never in my life had a man refer to me as manipulative or conniving… even when breaking it off with me. I have been called MANY things, but not those.
Then again, this may be why I don’t waste my time on white men.
So instead you drop hints that most guys would not get, expect them to read your mind, and then get all crazy and appear hurt when the guy “doesn’t get it” 
That’s why people developed languages, so we don’t have to rely solely on body language, sign language, telepathy, and sniff each other’s butts. 
btw, is Emel still around. I’m curious to see what a Turkish-German girl looks like. haha.
[quote=“SuchAFob”] We say “Oh, I like this perfume.” With the bottle in our hands. And then we mention it again several times. “I really like this perfume” “Sweety, do you think that perfume smelled good”
It isn’t a riddle. [/quote]
Sounds like training a dog to me 
If you don’t want to come across as demanding and high-maintenance, then by golly why not simply demand less? (directly and indirectly)
Plus, when women want something and say it, then at least we can talk about it, and maybe we can even strike a deal or something (you get your perfume, but then next weekend we go out hiking).
If you just drop hints, even if I get them, how could we work out such a deal? So say I buy that perfume and expect something in return, but don’t get my hiking trip because:
you thought “gee him buying that perfume was really a nice gesture”.
Then I say “how about hiking next saturday?”
you might say:“Naw, you know I don’t like that”
I say:“come on, I just bought you some perfume”
You:“what’s that go to do with hiking?”
And there you have got your misunderstanding.
And if I don’t buy the perfume, I either get the silent treatment, or when I ask about a hiking trip next sunday you might get pissed like “yeah, right. sweat is just my kind of odor, you know” and I am like “WTF?”
Just my perspective.
If you listened to her in the first place…!!! Girls give a LOT of hints.[/quote]
That’s the problem. Hints don’t work with men! 
And I’ve had experiences when I thought a woman was giving me a hint, but it turned out to be a misinterpretation. For example, an ex-girlfriend once said, near her birthday, that she liked a certain bracelet. So I planned on buying it for her. As her birthday approached, I brought up the topic of that bracelet again - just an innocent “Oh, you remember that bracelet we saw at La Boutique…” with no hints that it was going to be her birthday present - it turned out that she had changed her mind about it and didn’t like it after all. With a few days left, what now??? (She was impossible to shop for as it was…)
With all this hinting and mind-changing, multiple possible interpretations and misunderstanding, you’d think that people would tire of it and resort to actually talking about things directly and meaning what they say! :loco:
[quote=“t.ukyo”][quote=“SuchAFob”] We say “Oh, I like this perfume.” With the bottle in our hands. And then we mention it again several times. “I really like this perfume” “Sweety, do you think that perfume smelled good”
It isn’t a riddle. [/quote]
Sounds like training a dog to me
If you don’t want to come across as demanding and high-maintenance, then by golly why not simply demand less? (directly and indirectly)
Plus, when women want something and say it, then at least we can talk about it, and maybe we can even strike a deal or something (you get your perfume, but then next weekend we go out hiking).
If you just drop hints, even if I get them, how could we work out such a deal? So say I buy that perfume and expect something in return, but don’t get my hiking trip because:
you thought “gee him buying that perfume was really a nice gesture”. Then I say “how about hiking next staurday?”
you might say:“Naw, you know I don’t like that”
I say:“come on, I just bought you some perfume”
You:“what’s that go to do with hiking?”
And there you have got your misunderstanding.
And if I don’t buy the perfume, I either get the silent treatment, or when I ask about a hiking trip next sunday you might get pissed like “yeah, right. sweat is just my kind of odor, you know” and I am like “WTF?”
Just my perspective.[/quote]
Expecting something in return when you buy something for her is also a source of trouble for relationships it seems. (unless it’s understood you’re just a sugardaddy/sugarmomma I guess. although I hear about rich husbands giving jewelry so they can get affection from their wife, or conversely to leave them alone, so they can get affection from mistress). My 2 cents, but it should not have to be a quid pro quo everytime you do something for her, or vice versa. it’s not like a balance sheet where you have to keep track of what she does, and what you do. That said, each side does have to give and sacrifice to make things work. Of course, I may be too idealistic.
Just to clarify, it wasn’t even near her birthday when she said that and I had no recollection of her even saying that. So when the birthday came around (we had been dating for a couple months and I had asked her repeatedly when her birthday was but she refused to tell me, so I had to ask her mom, which was kind of weird), I get her something that I think is nice, but months later she tells me I had no idea what she liked and didn’t pick up on the oh so subtle hints, so therefore “I didn’t care.” And after that, I really didn’t because I felt pretty jaded about the whole situation. Now personally, if someone gets me anything, I think it’s a nice gesture, but I really don’t care what it is. The point is, there’s a certain type of woman/girl who thinks you should totally be in tune with her precise tastes. Some guys are good at that and the rest of us are total troglodites. I have to say there’s nothing worse than spending days looking for the perfect gift and getting a luke warm reception and a raised eye brow.