Ok, I know what you’re thinking-“Get on a plane and go!” but-for me at least-it’s not that easy.
Not that mine’s a special case, it’s just that I’ve been living abroad now for eight years, and have decided that I’d be happier in the long run living in a Western country where nationality and language aren’t a factor and I can just solely focus on a career that I’ve been putting off sicne travelling. I’m here in Taiwan now, and have lived in other countries in Asia and Europe. I’ve had great experiences and dont regret my decision to live abroad, but have decided that the fact that those little things like being lost and trying to communicate in the local language that were once so adventurous and exciting for me have now become a pain in the ass, is maybe, an indication that i should go home.
The problem is, I don’t really like where I’m from- the States. And maybe my dislike for the place stems from recent political events, or just the fact that i’ve been gone for so long, I don’t know. All i know is that it makes the most sense to go back there, but when I hear from friends that it’s taking them months and months to find a job, the restircitions, the ignorance, it makes me think twice. I dont have the energy to go live in another foreign country, however. But i’m also scared that I’ll go back and be miserable and get on the first plane back to Asia.
I guess I’m posting this looking for some words of advice from those who have made the transistion back home, or those who are in the process of doing so. How was or is the experience for you?
I’ll be 34 years old soon–is it really that much harder getting readjusted when you’re older? is it harder finding a job? I’m trying to look at it as just another career change, instead of a major life change.
I completely understand where you coming from on this…Im American also, and after this weekend talking to my family, i had strong feelings of dread come up. The conversations weren’t negative about the state of the situation in the states. But they didn’t leave me feeling happy go lucky.
[url]Bored to death in the US
Check out the above thread… it has some great ideas, and helpful hints. Moving back to the states or any where else may never be all that easy, given the fact that you have had some extrodinary(sp?) growth in your life and seen things that others can’t even get. But best of luck, many people do it and you can to.
:bravo:
[quote=“owl”]I’ve …decided … that I should go home.
The problem is, I don’t really like where I’m from- the States… All I know is that it makes the most sense to go back there… But I’m also scared that I’ll go back and be miserable and get on the first plane back to Asia.[/quote]
I think everyone struggles with this. I struggle with it until I come home for a visit and all pondering gets crushed by stupid stuff like reality TV, carb-free wine, fine dining restaurants that offer Atkins meals, people ordering triple grande non-fat no foam extra hot light whip 3 pump chocolate extra hot mochas at starbucks.
I’ve been back visiting family and friends NA for almost a month now… 2 weeks of it have been here in the bay area in california. Now, i feel no connection to the place at all and have no desire to ever live here again. It’s really bizarre. Walking into Barnes and Noble today and seeing a huge display of jesus literature whilst being cut off by SUV’s that have “support our troops” stickers plastered all over their rear bumper; watching Kirk Cameron teach kids about the bible and every single other channel with Amber Frey, growing up gotti, the bachelorette, desperate housewives…
i can’t really put my finger on the feeling i get when i’m here. I know i absolutely need to get out of taiwan every 6-9 months, but after being here for more than 10 days, it just becomes one big count down for me to get out and back to Taipei.
this is what i’ve been talking about. why is it that the states are so, so… WalMart? no culture. tasteless food with 90% of calories coming from fat, not the good kind of fat.
i can see it now. no kong shing tsai. go out in the park and practice kung fu and get shot or arrested and put in a mental ward. damn. don’t they even watch TV?
Taiwan has just as many if not more ridiculous aspects to its culture. I think your conundrum is more properly characterized by how you currently prefer to live in a bubble in Taiwan without knowing about, or if you are aware, then without caring about the nutty things around you.
Wow! That statement hits me like a good swing of a heavy hammer hits a nail.
Its true, every corner of this planet is inhabited by a majority of people there doing nutty things. To a large extent, those of us who live abroad (anywhere) are misfits in our own cultures and societies. When we live abroad, we aren’t exactly blending right in and suddenly fitting into our adopted places. I think its just quite a bit easier for misfits to live in a bubble, as you describe it, in a foreign land and culture. Very little in the way of conformity is expected of us in our foreign homes by our local hosts.
Upon returning to our home cultures and societies, our misfit tendencies and characteristics stand out more profoundly and grate more harshly against the prevailing social norms and mores, causing for us uncomfortable bubble bursting friction
Of course its easier for us misfits to live in our bubbles, and its easier for our bubbles to remain safely intact and less likely that our bubbles will be burst in a foreign place where the walls of our bubbles do not run into friction frequently, if ever.
[quote=“Tigerman”]
Of course its easier for us misfits to live in our bubbles, and its easier for our bubbles to remain safely intact and less likely that our bubbles will be burst in a foreign place where the walls of our bubbles do not run into friction frequently, if ever.[/quote]Not only that, but also the expectation of friction is different. While overseas you’re not very surprised if things are odd and disconcerting. You still find these things odd and disconcerting, but you can quickly point to your own foriegn-ness as the cause and move on. Moving back however you don’t give yourself the same leeway, and neither do those you have friction with…
Being a oddball here is much easier than being an oddball back in your own country since most locals will view all foreign behaviour as being bizarre.
That’s right. When we experience culture shock in a foreign land, it really isn’t so shocking… but, when we go home, even when we are misfits, at least we expect to understand things there. However, after living abroad, we are no longer the same people we were when we first left our homes… but, upon returning home, we forget that we have changed and mistakenly believe that home has changed… that causes real surprise, or culture shock.
Things that we may have previously understood, despite not agreeing with, now are no longer understood, as our perspectives have changed.
It can be a confusing and uncomfortable experience.
[quote=“Tigerman”]. . . after living abroad, we are no longer the same people we were when we first left our homes… but, upon returning home, we forget that we have changed and mistakenly believe that home has changed… that causes real surprise, or culture shock.
Things that we may have previously understiood, despite not agreeing with, now are no longer understood, as our perspectives have changed.[/quote]
Good point. And as someone else pointed out a while back in another thread, it is slightly disconcerting that no one in the states really gives a shit about our asian experiences. They’re thrilled to welcome you home, look at your photos, hear a few stories, but then they’ve got to get back to their routines, which bushibanned described nicely. As you point out, we’ve changed, we’ve adapted, and our minds are still on Asia frequency while our bodies have been transported to the shopping malls, obesity, SUVs, crap tv, and other trappings of suburban america. We find the inexplicable oddity of it all so striking and feel a need to share that with someone, but there’s no one to share it with, because they never left so they can’t see what/as we do.
I’ve been through what you are fearing and it’s rough at first, but rewarding in the end. I had been in Europe and Asia for over 7 years when I decided to return to the States in '96. I was 31 y/o with an undergrad degree in psychology and no significant job skills other than the fact that I could entertain a group of prepubescent Taiwanese kids.
I don’t know what your work experience is and whether you have skills that can land you a job back in the States. I did not (well, at least a job that I would want). I knew that employers in the US outside of the educational field would not be overly impressed with my “international experience” from teaching in Asia. They want people with skills that match their needs. Thus, I entered grad school in '96 upon returning to the States and it helped ease the transition into American life. I really had no other choice. With my lack of job skills, I would have been stuck in an entry-level job doing who knows what and probably bored out of my mind. Grad school provided me with an education to enter into a new profession and also gave me the chance to meet a lot of intelligent and interesting people. Grad school allowed me to wade in the shallow end of the American pool for a few years before jumping into the deeper end as a full participant. I was able to put off a 9-5 routine until I had settled into American culture once again.
If grad school is not an option or if you have transferable job skills, then you
WE moved back to Oz 2 years ago and I am still not settled… my advie is make sure you have done evverything you wanted to do in Taiwan before you leave for the US. There are so many things I didnt finish (or start) in Taiwan. We are moving back soon in order for me (us) to do this - that is - on a professional level.
Its a tough transition but most get back into the swing of slower pace, lack of convenience etc quite well. I havent, but thats me… landing a job prior to arrival is the best plan, study is another option. Its a different process for us all… good luck
Checklist for self
see SunMoon lake
climb Alishan at sunrise
have a pizza at Alleycats
check out Carnegies
get drunk with Almas John
check out Sandman’s band
talk to a real live binglang girl
call one of those special massage places in the TT
find out what kind of entertainment KTV girls really provide
throw a sex and drug party at the Hilton (but don’t get busted by the cops)
You people are pretty funny, talking about the crap tv in the USA, SUV’s, shopping malls. As if there’s no crap tv in Taiwan??? I will gladly trade my cable tv selection here for the tv selection in the States. Sure there are a few crap channels in the USA but you dont have to watch them. Theres about 90 other channels to view. Whats wrong with SUV’s anyway? Lots of people here would have them if they could. Its just not practical in most places here.
Supermarkets in the USA kick the crap out of the substandard markets here including Costco. Ever go to a Costco in the USA and compare it to Costco here???
I think that some of you have gotten used to substandard quality of things here and are afraid to go back to the real deal. I have some friends who have gone back to Canada and the USA, adjusted well and have a hard time believing that I can still put up with Taiwan.
I’ve been in Taiwan for over 15 yrs. and go to the States twice a year
for business and vacation. Lately, each time I go, I end up extendiing the vacation a few days. Not like Im dying to come back to Taiwan after 2 weeks in the States. I guess it boils down to what and where you are going back to in the USA. If I was going back to Hicksville USA then yes, I’d be waiting to get back to Taiwan.
Amen to that!!! But at first, its really overwhelming to have 15 different salad dressings to choose from, and I’m only speaking about the Ranch selection…
