Good Friend's wife hates me

Life Dating & Relationships
21

Hey Tyc00n, you are a fairly likeable fella.

I for one do not understand what that woman’s problem is.

OK, Let me tell you something. If the ball and chain does not like that friend, then it’s friendship over. You see, he will have to see you much less in order to placate his wife, and that’s something most married men have very high on their lists. (Placate her who msut be obeyed, that is)

OK, once he smartens up to that point where he dumps the bitch, some time might have passed. If a friends wife disliked me and my friend avoided me for several years, I would most likely not see him as a valuable addition to my social circle going forward.

So, well life, I think it’s a bummer.

22

And that’s still true.
My theory is that Tyc00n has slept with most women at my gym, infected some of them by making them suck on his toes. They then infected the water on the floor in the shower room at the gym and I happened to walk through it. Simple and statistically highly probable.[/quote]

Occam’s Razor, honey.

23

And that’s still true.
My theory is that Tyc00n has slept with most women at my gym, infected some of them by making them suck on his toes. They then infected the water on the floor in the shower room at the gym and I happened to walk through it. Simple and statistically highly probable.[/quote]

Occam’s Razor, honey.[/quote]
And didn’t tash mention that most of them are over 50? That would follow, too.

24

Wow, this is so similar to my situation. My friend’s wife is also a bit domineering in conversations. She is a very intelligent woman with a master’s degree, works at a university, my buddy is a lucky guy I’m sure. The only problem is that she is so deadly when you hang out with her in that she will tear apart your entire life to point out what’s wrong with it. I thought maybe I had just offended her on some level I wasn’t aware of, but it looks more like she does this with everyone.
I was just honest with my friend about it, telling him that I don’t think she likes me and she does make me feel pretty uncomfortable when she’s around. He agreed with me, said that’s her style and it’s the same with the rest of her family. They are all so slap in the face honest with everything there’s nowhere to hide!
Anyway, the way things have turned out is that we just hang out when it’s time to hang out with the boys. I’m married as well with a Taiwanese woman, and I’m a polite and easy-going fella. It’s not only the single friends of his that need to deal with this side of his wife. Problem is that he is her puppy dog, and jumps when she nods at him. So with this being the case I only get to see the guy once in a blue moon.

25

I have a similar situation with an all controlling wife of a friend. I simply think the guy made his decision when he got married, so that’s that. We rarely contact each other any more. I am deemed a bad influence on him because I like to play computer games from time to time and like looking at large motorcycles in shops. I’m a sinner, what can I say?
You’re friend will come to you if you are worth it.

26

I kinda like…drove one of my husband’s friends away. :blush: Just this one, though.

I’m not usually like that, a manipulating bich - but this guy just had something that made my claws and fangs come out (not visible to the naked eye, since I’m a undercover superhero…bich).

I told my husband I didn’t like him. At all. But never “banded” my husband from seing him, it’s his friend after all.
I did on the other hand told my husband, if his friend ever showed up with a gun (ganster-wanna-be), I’ll kill him with a frying-pan (keeping my superhero/bi*ch powers a secret for the moment of surprise). Eventually the friend kept his distance.

-Hey, can’t be friends with everybody, right?

27

My friend was living with me for a while many years ago and his girlfriend would come over to MY house and start giving me shit about all sorts of domestic things. At first, I didn’t want to fully unload back on her because I didn’t want to make it difficult for my friend. However, I realised that was a road to sorrow for both him and me, and that she would manipulate me in that way as much as she could get away with.

So, one day, I told her if she didn’t fucking like it, she could leave my fucking house. I don’t know if he got in trouble for it or not, but I don’t care. After that, she left me alone and we actually got along reasonably well. Maybe she actually respected me more than him because I stood up to her.

I like strong women. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t want some weak little thing, and I don’t think my girlfriend is like that at all. However, there’s a big difference between being strong and confident in yourself, and being a manipulative bitch. Rather than being strong, it’s actually incredibly weak and under-handed to put someone else in the middle and try to use emotional blackmail. Any kind of emotional blackmail (by a man or a woman) is pathetic and to be avoided at all costs.

More to the point, as much as you may like your friend, you have to question your level of respect for any guy who will allow himself to be pushed around so readily by anyone from an employer to a wife to anyone else.

28

[quote=“Tyc00n”]I’ve known my friend for almost 5 years now, and he’s more than a friend, but also a mentor and coworker. I value my friendship with him very highly.

Enter the wife.

She is a tad domineering in their relationship and she will kick up a big argument with people she deems to be in the wrong and given the fact that she dislikes me, that is rather often. If I have a go back at her, my friend will be in big trouble later.

I think the reason that she doesn’t like me (thats mildly put) is that I am single and as such I get up to various shenanagins which she disapproves of. This then transfers to her husband who is guilty by association. There may well be more to it than that and I know I’m certainly not the most PC person around and I’ll let my opinions be known.

My relationship with her is now at the point where we just remain quiet out of politeness, but there is often a chill in the air.

Just wondering if anyone else has been through something similar to this and what they did about it.[/quote]

I’m in something similar at the mo Ty.

However, this feud is between my girlfriend and one of my closest friends. My friend and I have known each other for about a decade and I’m seeing my g’f for about 2, and we’ve known each other for about another 5 prior to that.

These two make the balance of my life impossible. This is bit of a crossfire though, as they both detest each other - also putting it mildly. They both have their reasons for doing so. Starting with a history where he supposedly had a crush on her and she supposedly did not handle the situation very well and ppl got hurt. Anyway, I’m not here about that but I’m sure what you’ve realized already is that if she’s giving you hell, it’s tenfold for your mate who’s stuck in between.

What I’m going to be doing is this. The next time the two of them are in the same room with me - this is now very rare - I’m going to confront them both. I’m going to say exactly what I just wrote up there, I’m going to say:

“You guys have a problem with each other and we are all aware of that. However what YOU TWO are not aware of is that the two of you make up 80% of my life in terms of my own time. Half of that is time that the two of you overlap. You two have managed to make 40% of my OWN time a living hell. At this stage I’m assuming that you two have absolutely fkall respect for me because YOU (at my girlfriend) know that this is one of my closest friends, and YOU (at my friend) know that this is the woman that I have chosen in my life. If anything happens to my friendship or my relationship I’m gonna hold the fking both of you responsible!”

“Because right here and right now, what EXACTLY is it, that the two of you WANT me to do about this, because the LAST TIME I checked, I wasn’t the one who had and I STILL am not the one, who has a problem with either of you?!!”

I hope to walk out in huff after that, give them time to digest, and hope for the best.

What I’m trying to say here is that - I have a similar problem, mine objective to yours, and yours to mine, and that after not dealing with a problem pertaining to the two people closest to me, I’m embarrassed to say that I was in the best position to deal with it all along… and I think that your friend would be. You may not be the best person to tell him that, but hes the best person to fix this.

Btw reading your post spurred me to think about my situation and prime myself to deal with it. I hope anything here can be significant to you.

29

Well, let’s face it, your single and he’s married, now. So there’s two diametrically opposed life-styles interacting. His wife considers you a threat. His wife considers anyone a threat who might take him out for drinks, make him act silly or divert his attention from her. She wants him to herself. She has her toy and she’s unwilling to share. You’re an un-welcome coat-tail hanger, now. Maybe you should just modify your behavior around them and accept the changing nature of your friendship. Find closure and realize that your friend has gone to a different world, now. The world of marriage.