Great lies to get out of working for a day(or more)

So what’s been a good lie to use to get out of working or to go on an interview. The “I’m sick today” can be used only so much before you’re on that next visa flight.

So, what have you said or done to get out of working for a day?

I’m just going to disappear for a few days and hope nobody notices

“I got drunk, I lost my passport and they won’t let me leave the country.”

That one has worked for a few times.
And yes it was a lie.

It’s personal.

I pulled a muscle between my ears

Dog ate my work permit.

“Good LIE”???

Allergies.

What you really need is lots of vivid detail, moreso than the boss wants to hear. The goal is to get a few glances at watches or clocks, an endless series of “uh-huhs” culminating in a yawn, or a flat out semi-polite interruption.

Example.

“Two days ago my good friend Bob got into a really strange situation with his taxes. Apparently, the place that he worked for didn’t report as much as he really made, but then for some reason the tax bureau checked and now he has to pay more than he thought he would. He’s okay with that because he considers it his civic duty, but I think maybe the stress was too much for him. That night we went to dinner and he got really sick afterward – he threw up a few times and had diarrhea every 20 minutes or so (it’s okay to talk in detail about this). I went with him to the hospital and the doctor said he has “gastroenteritis” (pronounce it funny in Chinese - like chang4 wei4 yan1 - with a questioning expression). The thing is, we all ate the same thing, so I don’t think it could be the food. Do you think it’s possible that could come from stress? I didn’t know how to ask the doctor about that. And it’s not just the tax thing - his girlfriend broke up with him last week. So now they have him on an IV and told him they need to keep him there for at least three days and maybe longer if he doesn’t get better. The thing is, he has this big dog named Popo, and right now he’s home alone. He can’t find anyone to take care of it since everyone he knows has to work. Well obviously I have to work too, but he knows I owe him a few favors after he helped me out so much when I first got here. And the dog doesn’t like just anyone to begin with, but it likes me a lot because I go over to Bob’s place a lot. I feel really stupid asking you for time off so I can watch Bob’s dog. I asked him if I could bring the dog to the office with me, but he’s afraid that he might bite some of my co-workers / to school with me when I teach, but he’s afraid that he might bite the children. I told him I can only do it for a day, though – after that, he’s going to have to make other arrangements. Wanna see a picture of Bob and Popo? He’s actually quite friendly to me. The dog, I mean…”

My scooter was towed.

I had a cold and drank some cold water, I know you told me not to, and now I can’t talk or anything. So, I am sending you this email to tell you that I can’t come in for a few days.

Note: Texting would also be ok.

You could always use someone else’s TRUE excuse and pass it off as your own.

Here are some true reasons why I couldn’t make it to work:

Last December I got a call in the middle of class from my dad. Brother was on life support in a coma and about to die. I did have to stay home for the next few days cause I was waiting for calls from family for updates and then I had to fly home.

Once during a typhoon last year, the wind blew over my gas tank and broke all the waterpipes and I didn’t have water. I couldn’t go to work cause I had no water and had to wait for the plumber.

Once my landlord, who lives below me (I’m in a rooftop unit directly above her aparment), was renovating her apartment which included renovating a part of my floor. There was no way i was going to work leaving 2 fat betel-nut chewing dudes in my aparment alone. I made my landlord call my boss, cause she just came up one morning as I was leaving for work and said I had to be there. So you could always have a mandarin speaking friend call in for you saying they are your boss, your dr., whatever… and give the lie.

you could say you just went to the Dr… they’ve found something wrong, you don’t want to talk about it, but you have to stay for further tests.

I think the key to lying about why you can’t make it to work is to have a situation that is beyond your control. But I dunno. I usually just try and find a sub.

“Family reasons.” Unless they’re total cads, they won’t pry.

Ya, you could even say your (insert family member here) just called and said they were in Taipei to visit. Or, say your (insert family member here) is leaving from a visit and you have to take them to the airport.

smell the glove :bravo: :laughing:

I just thought of another one

AIT called me to come in about my passport. Must take off the rest of the day because I will be in line for several hours.

loudly announce to anyone at work who will listen and even more loudly to those who won’t, how excited you are about the upcoming big sushi/seafood blowout dinner party you are going to for your friend’s birthday on ______ (insert day before you want to take a break)… mention your friend will be preparing the sushi themselves, they read a book about it… etc etc…

once the fateful morning arrives, send in the appropriate call/text explaining the acute case of food poisoning you got from said seafood… take off as many days as you see fit… to ease the tension once you return to work you can ham it up about the “idiot foreigners trying to make sushi, what could us simple foreigners possibly know about anything Asian… ha ha ha”… etc…

only good for one use, unless you have particularly dim witted colleagues… :wink:

Dentist appointment. Who’s going to check? Or a physiotherapist or chiropractor visit. Your back has been bothering you and you need some work. Good for taking multiple afternoons off.

You went out hiking and fell and hurt your left wrist (don’t say ankle as it’s harder to fake). You need to go get treatment.

If your a woman say you must see a doctor for a female problem. Who is going to question you?