# Greetings from Tucheng Nature Preserve **URL:** \ **Category:** Science & Nature\ **Tags:** wildlife, tucheng\ **Created:** [June 12, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786 "2009-06-12T05:22:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![the\_chief](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@the\_chief](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/the_chief)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/1 "2009-06-12T05:22:07Z")
So I’m up on the roof after eating lunch, as is my habit, choosing to eschew the traditional faceplant nap on the desk in order to enjoy some high-grade local tobacco product. I’m on the roof of a large-ish 4-storey office building, there’s a full-size basketball court. I’m standing at the rail, looking down on the parking lot of the office building across the road. There’s a wee patch of grass and trees next to the guard booth controlling access to the lot. As I look down, a big fat brown rat literally waddles out of the bushes and starts scurrying along the base of the booth. I can see the guard sitting within, although he can’t see the rat, it being well below the bottom edge of the window. Anyways, the vermin moves along the wall, and, still hugging the base of the little building, turns the corner, and I can see that if it keeps going, it will be coming up to the open door of the booth and will probably go inside, so I’m watching the guard to see what happens. Suddenly I see the rat come back, reversing its trail, looking exactly like “Fuck! I forgot my passcard!”, and heads back into the bush. Thing is, like I said, I’m like 5 floors up, and I can literally see the curve of this beast’s ears, so I quickly look for something to scale it to. This thing was fucking huge. Easily 9 or 10 inches without its tail. If it’d had longer legs, it could have been a chihuahua. Crikey! Stay tuned for more wilderness reports. ---
**Author:** ![sandman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sandman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/sandman)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 5:27am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/2 "2009-06-12T05:27:37Z")
Afghanistan is not local, the chief. ---
**Author:** ![the\_chief](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@the\_chief](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/the_chief)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/3 "2009-06-12T05:34:08Z")
> [@sandman](#): > > Afghanistan is not local, the chief. Sorry, I guess I should have said “locally acquired” Seriously, man, this fucking thing was the size of, like, your foot. As thick as Rotalsnart’s wallet, I shit you not… ---
**Author:** ![Chris](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/c/958977/32.png) [@Chris](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Chris)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 5:44am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/4 "2009-06-12T05:44:56Z")
(David Attenborough voice): At long last, after weeks of observation hiding in the blind, patience pays off. A big fat brown rat literally waddles out of the bushes and starts scurrying along the base of the booth. We finally have a glimpse of the rare Common Brown Rat, Rattus norvegicus, in its natural habitat. And what a magnificent specimen! As the vermin moves along the wall, hugging the base of the little building, we can literally see the curve of its ears. It appears to be easily 9 or 10 inches long. This is the first time that this natural phenomenon has ever been captured on film. ---
**Author:** ![sandman](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sandman](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/sandman)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/5 "2009-06-12T05:49:40Z")
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that pales into insignificance when you realize that here’s a man who has actually SEEN rotalsnart’s wallet. Only the outside, admittedly, but still no mean feat. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/b/7993a0/32.png) [@Buttercup](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Buttercup)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 6:59am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/6 "2009-06-12T06:59:27Z")
I like your writing, the chief. You make the sighting of a rodent in a suburban carpark noteworthy. ---
**Author:** ![Thelonlieste](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@Thelonlieste](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Thelonlieste)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 7:06am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/7 "2009-06-12T07:06:38Z")
> [@the chief](#): > > Stay tuned for more wilderness reports. Episode 2: the rat returns (with his passcard). Now that will be worth tuning in for. No pressure. ---
**Author:** ![irishstu](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/i/45deac/32.png) [@irishstu](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/irishstu)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 7:13am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/8 "2009-06-12T07:13:55Z")
> [@the chief](#): > > If it’d had longer legs, it could have been a chihuahua. Chihuahua’s are fucking dangerous too… This one took a taser and three bullets: ![](http://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/dogkilled.jpg) [inquisitr.com/25649/police-s … -it-first/](http://www.inquisitr.com/25649/police-shoot-dead-a-chihuahua-but-only-after-tasing-it-first/) ---
**Author:** ![irishstu](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/i/45deac/32.png) [@irishstu](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/irishstu)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/9 "2009-06-12T07:15:55Z")
By the way, don’t let rotalsnart’s fat wallet fool you. It’s mostly 7-11 receipts. ---
**Author:** ![the\_chief](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@the\_chief](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/the_chief)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/10 "2009-06-17T01:53:25Z")
Oh, but first, bear with me, but boy do we miss the SHIT out of this guy or what?? ![](http://www.sfbg.com/blogs/pixel_vision/images/steveirwin.jpg) I just loved the dude. I bought the chieflette a Steve Irwin doll like this one: ![](http://www.bcuniversal.com/images/croc-hunter-doll-lg.jpg) You squeeze his tummy and he says “Crikey!” and “Get a load a THAT beauty!!” and stuff. Plus, as was observed at the time, there’s now one fewer guy in the world who dresses like me. So long, ya beauty! OK, on with the show. So yesterday, I saw one of those things where, like, it’s kind of weird, but then later when you start thinking about it, it starts to seem really weird. Or just gross. I was on the bus going home, now you got to know, Tucheng, in keeping with its role as a 21st century leader in envronmental frendliness and Green Earth policies, has like the oldest crappiest buses you’ve ever seen outside of Mexico. I think they got them for free from Russia, who didn’t want them anymore. I think they mostly run on coal. Anyways, I look over, and there’s A roach trap stuck to the bulkhead. And I was, at first, OK, roach trap, no biggie. But then later, I was, like WTF?? How do the roaches get on the bus? How do they not get removed? What is there enough of on the bus to sustain them? Beats me, man. More mysteries from The Land That Evolution Chose to Ignore. 'Til next time, I’m the chief and THIS IS TUCHENG! ---
**Author:** ![Elegua](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/e/65b543/32.png) [@Elegua](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Elegua)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/11 "2009-06-17T02:01:32Z")
If we squeeze your tummy what do you say? I apologies repeatedly for Steve’s American wife and what she is doing ot his legacy. 😢 ---
**Author:** ![the\_chief](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@the\_chief](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/the_chief)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 3:09am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/12 "2009-06-17T03:09:05Z")
[quote=“Elegua”]If we squeeze your tummy what do you say? [/quote] I won’t say nothing, but I might shit in your hand… ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_McCoy](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/dr_mccoy/32/175310_2.png) [@Dr\_McCoy](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Dr_McCoy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/13 "2009-06-17T03:27:22Z")
We had cockroaches in our car once. And another time we had ants. ---
**Author:** ![the\_chief](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@the\_chief](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/the_chief)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/14 "2009-06-17T04:07:22Z")
> [@Dr. McCoy](#): > > We had cockroaches in our car once. And another time we had ants. Were you driving through Tucheng at the time? ---
**Author:** ![Taffy](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/taffy/32/186_2.png) [@Taffy](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Taffy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 4:09am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/15 "2009-06-17T04:09:48Z")
That’s nothing - I had irishstu in my car once. One full valet service and a whole can of Febreze later, there’s still a strange whiff when I leave it sitting in the sun. ---
**Author:** ![Funk500](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/f/53a042/32.png) [@Funk500](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Funk500)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 4:12am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/16 "2009-06-17T04:12:25Z")
> [@Taffy](#): > > That’s nothing - I had irishstu in my car once. One full valet service and a whole can of Febreze later, there’s still a strange whiff when I leave it sitting in the sun. Is there anybody that irishstu hasn’t been with? ---
**Author:** ![the\_chief](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@the\_chief](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/the_chief)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 4:18am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/17 "2009-06-17T04:18:42Z")
> [@Taffy](#): > > That’s nothing - I had irishstu in my car once. Oh matron! ![](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01202/Kenneth-Williams-4_1202838c.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_McCoy](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/dr_mccoy/32/175310_2.png) [@Dr\_McCoy](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Dr_McCoy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/18 "2009-06-17T04:34:39Z")
> [@the chief](#): > > [quote=“Dr. McCoy”]We had cockroaches in our car once. And another time we had ants. Were you driving through Tucheng at the time?[/quote] No. But you said the buses have roaches. Which is nothing new in Taipei. Even buses in the big modern city have that problem. And we go rid of the roaches in the car. It’s like head lice, there’s no shame in getting them, the shame is in keeping them. ---
**Author:** ![the\_chief](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@the\_chief](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/the_chief)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 5:45am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/19 "2009-06-17T05:45:45Z")
> [@Dr. McCoy](#): > > [quote=“the chief”][quote=“Dr. McCoy”]We had cockroaches in our car once. And another time we had ants. Were you driving through Tucheng at the time?[/quote] No. But you said the buses have roaches. Which is nothing new in Taipei. Even buses in the big modern city have that problem. And we go rid of the roaches in the car. It’s like head lice, there’s no shame in getting them, the shame is in keeping them.[/quote] Yeah, that was kind of a joke, there, Doc. See, that’s why you don’t get your own Travel/Nature show. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_McCoy](https://forumosa-12829.kxcdn.com/user_avatar/tw.forumosa.com/dr_mccoy/32/175310_2.png) [@Dr\_McCoy](https://tw.forumosa.com/u/Dr_McCoy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786/20 "2009-06-17T05:58:14Z")
I thought if it was a joke you’d say something like, "I’ve been out in the sticks so long, I’ve got flowers growing on my face. Tulips!" Hahaha [Next page](https://tw.forumosa.com/t/greetings-from-tucheng-nature-preserve/51786.md?page=2)