Guys: How do you feel about girls making the first move?

So, was talking to some guy friends the other day about a night out I had, how I had made the first move, how it had worked out well and how I was going to get more progressive with this sort of thing. Guys have to do it all the time right? Plus, it’s never sat well with me having to assume the ‘traditional’ way, ie: only show that you are interested and then wait for the guy to kiss you or whatever.
My one friend said, “Thank god, a girl taking the initiative!”
The other said that I should be careful as this is a real turn off for some guys.
So, you guys out there…what’s your take on this?

I think it’s great for women to make the first move. Why shouldn’t they? If a guy feels threatened by that kind of initiative, then he probably isn’t the kind of renaissance guy most women would want.

I certainly like it when a woman surprises me with a kiss, or grabs my hand whilst out for a stroll or more importantly, in a high-profile situation where LOTS of other guys can see she is making a point of showing she is with ME! :sunglasses:

Even when a women initiate sex, it’s a turn on. It also takes a lot of pressure off the guy, especially in these heady times of sexual liberation in Taiwan! :noway:

The only thing that kind of bugs me is when the woman is the aggressor in bed. I know this sounds kinda’ typical, but I like to be in the driver’s seat at this point. Especially if it’s a new relationship. But that’s just me.

After I get to know the woman and conclude that we are sexually compatable, it’s a different story and almost anything goes. :wink:

However, here’s a little advice for women: Your man really likes it if you’ve been in a relationship for longer than a year and YOU continue to do all those little flirty things you did when the relationship was young.

This helps to reignite the freshness of the romance. Keep it coming girls, your man will never tire of it if he’s any kind of romantic. :smiley:

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a woman making the first move. If true equality between the sexes is to be achieved, women must overcome the double standard where a sexually agressive man is a stud while a sexually agressive woman is a slut. Otherwise we men will continue to be the sexual beings, and women the sexual objects.

I never had to make the first move with American women. Back home, if a girl likes you, she hits you over the head with it.

Girls in Taiwan, however, are very, very shy. So in Taiwan I have to learn how to make the first move. It takes some getting used to and frankly I am not particularly comfortable with it. Pursuing women is just not my style.

The more women start making the first move the better, far as I’m concerned. I think it’s bloody great when they do, largely because I’m possibly the most ignorant of “signals” man walking the Earth.

My missus made the first move, now we’re married.

I think it’s great. I’m usually too shy to do it myself.

9 opening lines as smooth as jazz

[quote=“By Margot Carmichael Lester”]A skillful come-on from a woman is a very welcome advance. Guys agree: If the move is tactful and genuine, you won’t come off as loose or frantic

I am very proud of you. You will probably never go blind.

i like making the first move because of the following:

  • i choose
  • i avoid being hit on by morons
  • i hate wasting time

i have come across guys that don’t respond positively. few exceptions though. and - i never use ready-made pick-up lines. overall i think, cool guys are fine with being approached by women, as long as they don’t appear desperate and too easy.

While I certainly appreciate the subtle romantacism of your approach snakebabe, I think it must be admitted that there may actually be somthing to be said for the desperate, too easy approach as well.

Agreed. NOTHING IS WRONG with anyone making the first move. It’s how you do it that matters. Even with guys you don’t wanna be seen as too desperate or two easy, either. However, as a woman, I like it when a guy makes the first move if the moment is right and if he doesn’t act like all he cares about is getting into my pants. I know a lot of guys while they certainly appreciate the gesture, they secretly label you under the easy catagory. That’s why I don’t make the first move. Never did and never will. I like to play hard to get. :bouncy:

Cool, thanks for the replies. :sunglasses:
Got me thinking, ladies ~ any of you out there with “I made the first move and…” stories? If so, care to share? The good and bad would be great! :smiley:

Only once was I turned off by a girl making the first move, but that makes sense because I found her annoying. She tried to hold my hand on our first “date” and I took that to mean “Hey, look what I caught.” I think she misread me (perhaps a stereotype about “foreigners”) but the real problems were some personality quirks. I saw her, thought she was hot, and actively pursued getting to know her. Then, when I was aloof and she was active…guess it just didn’t work out. No big deal.

All too many times, (maybe 3 or 4) I’ve boned a girl that I had known for quite a while, in some cases. I felt comfortable with her and thought we might have a relationship possibility. Later, however, comes the crying phone call: “I’ve never thought about marriage beffore (shiff). What exactly IS our relationship? (sniff sniff).” I’m thinking “Where the hell did THAT come from?” Perfect way to “lose” the man and ruin any possibility for the relationship to continue. Not all men have a “fear of commitment”, but if girls do that to me it’s “Warp Factor six, Scotty”.

I’ve never had sex with a black or white woman before. Even before I came to Taiwan it was always Asians. I think US (where I use to live) girls have scary rules about the transition between “friends” and “something else”. I never took that plunge. Now I’m starting to think I might be happier with a black or white woman. (Maybe I’m more “mature” or something). Dunno.

I’d love to hear the ladies’ stories, as well!!!

I was once on a barstool beside a girl that was being hit on by some annoying guy. She turned to the other side towards me and said. “How have you been?” She started pretending to know me so I went along with it. We danced for a few hours and I asked her out again.

Another occasion, a woman that appeared to be in her late 30’s (I was just 25 at the time) noticed me standing by myself across the dance floor. She said that she was in town on business and asked if I came with anyone. I SO wish I was alone that night, but my friends soon came over and we left soon after. I was the designated driver so I had to take everyone home.

First moves from women are generally welcome. I think most guys would at least have a conversation and put you at ease for a moment. Probably in denial that it’s an ACTUAL move.

What exactly constitutes a “first move”? I want to make sure I am understanding you right…frankly I am not quite sure what it is since it could mean different things to different people, although usually the first move usually implies some kind of action or words that suggest romantic intimacy for the first time between two people, or romantic interest, or sexual interest? (I am guessing…) A lot of times I think the “first moves” aren’t so clear if you start out as friends and get to know each other for a while…at least in my experiences.

For me personally, I think there is nothing wrong for a girl to show interest or desire to get closer to another person. (I know you are asking the guys…somehow I feel like I should answer, too, since I am replying to this post.)

first of all, the question about “what kind of first move” is right. i understand “move” as an action with an aim, and since you cannot aim at starting a relationship that night, i would refer “move” to to see whether we click or not. in whatever regard…

and then again:

i know a lot of women sharing this attitude. “… if the moment is right”, “if he does this or doesn’t do that…”. if, if, if. that is too much UP TO HIM, in my opinion. and then woman must not be surprised or in the end even pissed off when a guy comes across who “only” has obvious intentions.

so, let’s say, the first move is about taking a guy home for that night… some women say that they don’t want men to make use of them. why do they think that they are being used in the first place? if they cannot expect to have fun as well, then they should not do it… pick the right guy, so it becomes a win-win situation. if they feel like they are not being respected, then they should not do it. but they will be respected, if their actions speak for themselves. pack your clothes and leave right away. don’t start out with getting into his pants and ending up with the “aehhh, so, are we gonna stay in touch?” lyre. guys like it simple. for that night, it was all about sex. basta. finito. if you truly felt like you clicked that night, you will get back together anyway.

some women say that they are afraid of being labelled as above. this is a problem both parties carry. everybody says, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with women making the first move. and when she does, it IS wrong somehow. so, what’s the problem: men who think the roles are clearly spelled out and women should not take on men’s role? or women who cannot help but be conform with society’s rules? or is it just about BEING DIFFERENT as a woman? and the fact that society has a serious problem with people BEING DIFFERENT?

anyway. i have noticed, the sex and the city character samantha jones has found a lot fans. in my opinion, her character is quite extremely drawn. i know girls who are going the “samantha-way” right now. i have had that phase as well. seen guys as playmates only. it is fun. exciting. challenging. easy. learned a lot. but it also made me tired. it made less and less sense. now, if a guy catches my interest, i will not see him reduced to his thing anymore. because (i could not believe it) i have in fact come across guys that felt deeply insulted by this view. just like a woman would be…

and remember: even samantha jones fell in love at the end.

Thanks, snakebabe. This is valuable information to guys. I especially like what you said about that being a win-win situation. You’re right. Why do so many people always classify a one-night-stand as “the man using the woman”?

Sometimes I feel like a piece of meat. I wish women would like me for my mind.