All guys know that if a woman asks him out he isn’t allowed to say no, unless he is married or gay. A woman asking a man out is such a rare event that if it happens, he has to say yes, or the woman might forever be put off from asking guys out. Guys dig woman making a move like that, so we try our hardest to make sure it never stops.
I don’t know, yangdemei, what “asking” you’re talking about, but it sounds like a “date”. Exchanging phone numbers could be out of politeness, but if the other person doesn’t sound interested–take it as you like.
Constant text-message contact is a sign of interest, I think. Been there many times.
I’m assuming you’re just trying to be witty here. Because, let me tell you, having women make the move when there is some mutal chemistry is awesome, but when you’re not at all attracted to her and/or she is a pyscho - it can be a nightmare.
Case in point… I had a student many years ago who took a fancy to me. She was one of these tubautzu shao-jie’s from way out in Taipei County with the permed hair and the heavy make-up. She was forever brining up sex in class, and making eyes at me. One day the class and I went to lunch together at a nearby Dept. Store. On the escalator heading down to the food court she turns to me and tells me how much she is dying to “fuck” me. Later on, after lunch she reaches back and grabs my packet as we are in a crowd to get on the elevator back up to the buxhiban.
Perhaps you lads reading this are all thinking, “corr, fancy a bit of that, don’t I?”. Well, know this: she was NOT a looker, and had one of the most obnocscious personalities I ever encountered as a teacher.
After this revelation, she would ask me again and again, after class, when I was going to ask her out or take her to bed. On more than one Monday she confided in me that she had been “bad” over the weekend, picking up foreign guys at Spin or TU and rooting with them because she was so turned on by me. She made out that it was I who was driving her to a life of serial one night stands.
Eventually she got pissed off that I was not taking her up on all the offers, and she started being very bitchy to me. I guess she was used to having her way with men. Not with me. I was glad when the class ended and she stopped coming to our school in protest that her demands had not been met.
Several months later I bumped into her at a nightclub. She was totally legless and all over me. I successfully ducked her, and then a guy I knew of the totaly sleazy variety - the kind who specialzed in screwing anything with a pulse, and 4:45 am desperate hook-ups, took her off my hands.
I guess my point is that getting hit on by hyper-aggressive skanks can be a turnoff and a hassle, and not a dream come true.
Yangdemei, if you are reading this… I’m sure you are nothing like the girl I just described. I think there’s no harm in trying again with this guy that you fancy, especially if you do so in a way that leaves him a face saving out, if he’s not into you. Why not get a group of friends organized for a night out, and ask him if he wants to join you guys. Then during the evening try and get to know him better, and work your magic. Good luck!
If a guy is attracted to you and you ask him out he’s going to say one of the following:
“Sure, absolutely, I’d love to. Shall I come and pick you up to make sure you don’t get lost on the way? Tell you what, maybe I should just come home with you tonight - to be on the safe side.”
“Shit! My entire family is flying in that evening and I haven’t seen them for 10 years, and I’m supposed to meet them at the airport. But I suppose they could take a taxi…”
Guys are slaves to their small heads. You show interest and they’ll be delirious with joy. But only if they are attracted to you. Unless a guy has a really good reason for turning you down then any form of no probably means that he’s not interested. So I would say to only ask once. You’ve communicated your interest, and if it’s reciprocated he’ll suggest another time or ask you out later.
Ask 914 to recommend and extremely nice, intelligent, witty, fun, kind, caring and fuckable single guy. They are out there.
Sure they’re out there but are they attracted to women? (sorry…couldn’t resist. )
Quality over quantity, I say. Most guys will not say no to a friendly “get to know each other better” scenario. I usually suggest drinks or casual restaurant and I’m perfectly willing to pay since I asked…however, some men insist on paying anyway.
In turn, I don’t usually turn down a guy who ask in the same non-threatening manner. Guys who drive back and forth honking at you and then screaming “I love you, I love you” whilst flinging the passenger door open and gesturing you to get in will get a loud “NO” from me. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, the guy wouldn’t get into my car either…or would he?
All I can add is that it’s such a pity that whenever you (girl) asks a guy (say, colleague or casual friend or whatever - any guy) if they’d like to join you for coffee / a drink / lunch / whatever because you like their company and you may have time to kill, or want to get to know them better AS FRIENDS, they automatically think you want to get them to bed. WTF???
In the case where the guy turns her down, if he really is interested in her the same way she is in him, he can always ask her out the next time. But he better have a good reason for turning her down the first time she asked!
Codswallop. Woman seem to haveall the screaming rights about NO meaning NO. So what if a guy says no.
It’s nothing peronal. Perhaps he’s not married or gay. Perhaps he’s just not interested in the person asking. Men can refuse very politely, you don’t need to humiliate a woman for asking.
I had a friend ask, but when I declined ( during a dinner we were having at my place ) it was kept as a private matter. We are still good friends.
I don’t think the relationship would have worked out long term. Now that lady in question is very attractive, and a lot of guys wanted to get even a whisker of a chance just to say hello.
But being honest is better. We certainly could have dated but she had always been a friend first. If I hadn’t known her for a long time I might have said yes. Fact is I wasn’t married or gay, I was single at the time, but my thoughts were actually for another. Damn lol.
In the case where the guy turns her down, if he really is interested in her the same way she is in him, he can always ask her out the next time. But he better have a good reason for turning her down the first time she asked![/quote]
Why? Do women have to come up with a good reason for turning down a guy the first time?