[quote=“NonTocareLeTete”][quote=“Blaquesmith”]
Well, if they have children, it might have to do because the foreign parent might be afraid of losing all the custody rights, plus having their kids raised in a hostile environment which won’t care to teach the foreign parent language to the kid, making impossible for the parent not only to see the kid, but communicate with him. In my opinion, that would be a nightmare even worse than being stuck with someone that doesn’t like you.[/quote]
Ya’ll are bumming me out. Sometimes I think people shouldn’t get married until their mid-thirties, and only after a thorough review of how each partner has handled past conflict and whether such ways of handling conflict would be conducive to a healthy environment for a child (past behavior being the best predictor of future behavior and all).
Of course if everyone were as anxious, strict and critical before entering marriage/parenthood as I am, marriage and child-bearing would be such a rarity that we wouldn’t be having this discussion.[/quote]
I have told you so, NonTocareLeTete, that I wouldn’t marry here, either. I have seen too many cases where the foreign woman is tossed like a dirty rag, or worse, they cannot divorce, or divorce and still live under the same roof as the ex hubby’s and/or his family. Might have to be with being Latinas, they treat us like South East Asian workers/brides -the only ones I know who kept their kids were the ones who had also US passports. Children are rarely encouraged to be bilingual like they would be in our countries, not to say bicultural, which is such a pity. Taiwanese are gradually becoming aware of the asset of kids being fluent in both languages, but breaking down the barriers and ideas of binational kids being less likely to succeed is tough.
That said, I would love to have a kid here and grow up in a safe environment, where being a nerd is not something to be ridiculed, and with people I like to be neighbors with. We have the idea it takes a village to raise a child, and the people they come in contact with, the values they have, has a deep influence. I would like my kids to have the get up and go of the Taiwanese, what we call in Spanish echar pa’lante. I do not want them to have as a goal to do nothing and live la vida loca. At least here they will see people working every day, trying to make ends meet, not hopelessness and cutting corners tempting fate for a flash in the pan. It is not that bad here.
That said, our pal OP said himself that he is only still married for the economic conditions are not ripe yet for departure. Problem is his wife probably knows it. In the best case scenario, she pays him to leave. In the worst, he will leave penniless, and being the one with a skeleton in the closet, he is not sitting on the catbird seat, as he pretends to be. Right now, his other lady adds no pressure, but if the heat goes on from two flanks, things will get ugly.
For every atoga that I know lost his business to his ex wife, I have ment also another atoga that played the gigolo and lives high on the hog at expense of a Taiwanese wife. If we start throwing mud around, the whole world becomes a pigsty. As Auntie Peng has said before, don’t do anything you wouldn’t do in your own country, don’t accept anything in a relationship you wouldn’t in your own country, know your rights, understand that you have a lot to lose, more to lose as the Law is not on your side, try to keep peace and dot your i’s even in the direst circumstances. be the right person and use strong contraceptives, don’t have children on a whim, as they are semi permanent ties with The Island. Beware and be aware.
