Have you ever scolded someone else's child?

Taiwan Parenting
1

I can think of three times when I did, two in Taiwan. The third time was today.

We were at the zoo, watching the elephants when all of a sudden a kid, about 12 or 14 years old, who’s standing there beside his mother and younger brother, winds up and flings a small, plastic drink bottle as hard as he can at the elephant, it bounces off the elephant’s side and lands at the elephant’s feet. The mother did nothing, but I jumped in front of him and shouted, “Hey, what the hell are you doing! That’s bad. Bu hao. What the hell are you thinking.” He was completely startled that someone confronted him, much less a yaiguoren and appeared very meek, frightened and shamed. His mom then told him he was wrong too, though not half as strongly as I had, and she didn’t blame me at all. His younger brother, however, started crying. Later I saw them again and was surprised to see there was also a husband/father, not that it would have mattered to me. The kid needed a serious scolding and if a parent wasn’t going to provide it I see nothing wrong with a stranger doing so.

The other occassion was in Taichung at a science museum where they’ve got a terrific collection of lifesize, realistic animated dinosaurs that move their heads back and forth and roar. It looks to me like they must be fairly expensive creatures. So I was pissed off when I saw a young boy, maybe 7 or 8, climb up over the edge of the barrier and start tugging on the tail of one dinosaur. “Hey,” I shouted to him, “hey, get down.” But he didn’t hear me and kept on proudly tugging on the tail. So I marched over, grabbed him by the scruff of his collar and yanked him down off of there. He too was completely startled, as were the people around us. And later I saw him pointing at me to his mom, but I didn’t give a damn. If his parents’ wouldn’t stop him from breaking expensive exhibits intended for hte general public, someone else needed to.

The third one was in California. I was standing on the sidewalk in front of my house when this crazy, homeless lady who lived in the vicinity walked quickly past, cussing and screaming, obviously seriously agitated. A moment later I saw the cause of her distress. A young kid was chasing her, shouting at, intentionally taunting, and taking pleasure at scaring the hell out of her. The kid passed just a few feet in front of me so, without thinking, I grabbed him by the shoulders and said, “Hey, knock it off. Leave her alone. She’s crazy, just leave her alone you little shit,” or something like that. I know that one’s never supposed to touch another person’s kid, but I didn’t hit him. I just grabbed him. If I hadn’t grabbed him he would have just ran past laughing. In any event, I knew most people wouldn’t have intervened like that, but I didn’t give a shit. And when he told me, “you’re in big trouble mister,” I knew it wasn’t over yet.

So I went back inside, sat down and waited, and when the cop showed up at my door I wasn’t surprised. I told him what happened, he knew the crazy lady and agreed taht the kid’s behavior was very wrong, but told me I shouldn’t have touched him. I said, yea, I understand. The cop then told me and the boy, who was standing on my lawn with his mother, to apologize to each other. Fair enough, I obliged, though his nasty mother screeched for blood, trying to get the cop to haul me off to the slammer. No such luck. The boy and I said our words and it was over.

So, what do you think? Does a stranger ever have a right to intervene and tell someone else’s kid to knock it the hell off? If the kid is violating the rights of another person or the general public and his parents don’t stop him, aren’t others sometimes justified in butting in? Is it always wrong to touch the kid (not punch, not twist, poke or otherwise hurt, but just grab him for emphasis) when teaching him that lesson? Has anyone else done anything similar?

2

I scolded Rinals and Chewycorns the other day. Damned kids were acting up.

3

The wife and I were walking to a park this afternoon to play some frisbee.
As we went down the street a kid and his mother, I guess it was his mother, were crossing the street to get to their car. Just as we intersected them the kid, about 7 - 8 years old tosses a huge wad of kleenex on the ground. I immediately pick it up while loudly smiling and saying “Oh My Goodness…You just dropped this…here is your kleenex” This was in english of course and I don’t know if he understood the words but he began grinning and took the wad of tissue back from me.
He & his mom walked up the street while the wife & I made it up the sidewalk.
Sure enuff, just as I thought he would, as he got closer to their car, the little shit bag tossed the kleenex again.
I loudly told him, while smiling hugely “Oh MY…You dropped it again! THERE IT IS!”
He picked it up again and got in his car. Through out it all, no comment from his mom.
The wife, for once, thouht it was a very funny episode.
:sunglasses:

4

I have scolded another’s child on occasion, but very rarely. Most of the few times I’ve done it has been with friend’s kids, and we have already agreed to co-parent the kids (ie, they’re within bounds to guide/scold my kid if he’s out of line). A few months ago I scolded a couple of school kids who were standing near my school’s gate. They were chatting and one kid casually let his trash fall on the ground. They both watched it fall and then continued talking. I gave them crap and pointed out the garbage can that was about 10 meters from them.

We went to the symphony the other night (Mozart’s 250th birthday), and we watched in amazement as an eight-year-old (approx) boy wandered down to the front of the stage and started tugging on the microphone stand that was mounted on the edge. I’d have loved to have scolded that kid, but for obvious reasons could not.

5

Only when the little bastards are doing something that puts one of my kids in danger, and their parents are either not around or oblivious. Otherwise, I figure, hell, they’re kids.

6

I was at the Taipei zoo when I saw a kid spit on an animal. I think it was a gazelle. The kid leaned over the railing and spit on it!! His father was right beside him and there was no reaction from him whatsoever.

So I turned to the kid and told him off. I just got a slow blink from his father and they walked away.

Amazing

7

Ever since I became a parent, I have been more outspoken especially in situations involving my children. Just a month ago I was in the park near Alleycats (Yong Kang Park) with my kids and I saw a fat kid about 8 or 9 years old opening up a new package of toy on the top of the slide. The packaging material was scattered all over the floor so I calmly told him to make sure to clean up everything before he left. He did not reply nor did he even make an eye contact. Then, as I guessed he would, he went down the slide without cleaning up! When he came up the stairs again for another slide, I told him he had to clean up his mess, he ignored me again! I am not a violent person and would never hit another person’s child, but I didn’t want to let the matter rest so I walked over to the child’s father and told him what his son had done. The child’s father did not say anything to me but he did turn to his son and told him to pick up his junk. I had the satisfaction to watch the child go up the stairs begrugingly to pick up the trash he left behind.

I know I could have stood back and not said anything to the kid, but I didn’t want my almost-4-year-old son to watch the kid litter and think it was an OK thing to do.

8

I was waiting for a bus one cold day last week and since I had a nasty bloody cold too I didn’t feel like walking around looking for a garbage can and threw my empty zun cu nai cha container in some guys scooter basket. Some frustrated, 40ish, office worker type saw me and told me it wasn’t a garbage can. Feeling really quite embarrassed I mumbled an apology of sorts and took the garbage out. That wasn’t enough for miss fancy pants though so she continued to yak (in English) at me about what a terrible thing littering is blah blah blah yak yak yak until finally I said “Look lady, I took the garbage back, what do want me to do now, climb up on a cross?” That didn’t gel in her pin brain either so I said “Listen, either stop talking to me or I’m going to put the garbage back.” That didn’t work either and she got started on the yaking again so I put the garbage back in the scooter basket and said “There, you happy?” She said she was tired of foriegners coming here and disrespecting her country so I said I didn’t disrespect Taiwan I was just tired and quite ill and getting tired of her bitching already. Then I put my thumb over my left nostril and blew a big gob of snot out of the other. Unfortunately a thick green glob of said snot gob landed on her shoe. It sat glistening there like a tiny phosphorescent oyster for a bit and then the bus came and luckily for me did one of those flick of the back door rolling stops so I jumped on thinking that at long last I could be rid of miss hormone disorder. She had other plans though and tried to jump on the bus behind me so I gave her a sort of back kick to the top of her head. She stumbled backwards and was run over by a cavalcade of motor scooters each with basket fulls of garabage left by inconsiderate foriegners and I felt vindicated.

9

So I’m in my exam room, and this woman comes in to see me with her 2 kids. Her little girl is sick, and the little girl’s brother is not, he’s just with them. The little boy walks over to my exam cabinet and starts picking up my otoscope while I’m trying to examine his sister. Mom kinda sorta said junior don’t do that (I think, maybe she didn’t say anything), but the point is he simply ignored his mother anyway. So, I put down what I was doing and took my equipment out of his hands and pointed him toward the chairs, and told him “YOU, go sit down NOW, and do NOT touch my stuff!”

Another time, some parents brought in their 4 year old princess because she had a sore throat for ONE day (big deal). We sit her in the exam chair. I try to talk with her. We look in her ears, and then when it’s time to look in her mouth to examine the throat, she refuses to open her mouth. The parents don’t say much. Finally, I tell them “look, if you want me to help her, she needs to open her mouth so I can see if something’s wrong.” So, they kinda ask her to open her mouth, and she gets up off the chair and flings herself on the floor and begins to scream. The parents look at me like, what are you going to do about this? I just told them sorry, I wouldn’t be able to help her out today. Goodbye.

It’s amazing to witness children controlling their parents. Sometimes I wanna just shake the parents and say “HEY! YOU’RE the ADULT - why don’t you act like one?”

Bodo

10

Very funny bob. That was my wife and now I know where to find you. :fume:

Chou.

11

[quote=“Bodo”]
It’s amazing to witness children controlling their parents. Sometimes I wanna just shake the parents and say “HEY! YOU’RE the ADULT - why don’t you act like one?”[/quote]

I’ve never been able to understand it when parents say, “we just cannot control him/her” when referring to their 3 year old child.

How can an adult not be able to control a 3 year old child?

To the topic… I have and continue to scold other people’s children and adults… most frequently I scold kids when they jump at or tease my dogs… I tell them that such behavior is likely to get them bit, and if that happens they will be to blame. Usually the parents then half-heartedly join in the scolding… but, it isn’t all that effective, from what I can gather.

12

I was at a public pool. A 5yo boy pulled out his willy and began to pee into the pool. I said “Hey! Stop! Go to the toilet” He just stared at me like I had 3 heads. Another parent looked around and got all high and mighty “Take your son to the toilet!”. I replied calmly “He’s not mine.” A little bit of red faced apology then we both tried to find the peeing kid’s parents, no luck so we left the him with the pool manager :fume:

13

many times i’ve wanted to… but i understand the possible ramifications of it… so the most scolding i’ve done is give one kid the evil eye…

was last christmas, and we were out doing the christmas activities in the community… you know - when the school gets this idea in it’s head that it’s gunna help sucker more parents into going to their school…

anyways… i was santa (ho ho ho) and we were at the part where i was handing out candy to all the kids… and there was this little fat kid that would just snatch the candy out my hands… i swear, i was handing a candy to this little 2 year old cutie and this little fat &$#@ just snatched it right out from under the poor kids nose…

so of course i tried my best to make sure he couldn’t get it… but he pushed his way through and snatched more… i swear he got at least 7 bags of candy… so i gave him the evil eye…

… but it doesn’t end here. after that, a woman started snatching the candy… and what did she do with it? give it to the fat kid!! :fume:

it’s hard to expect some of the kids here to have manners when their parents have none either.

14

I think it is up to all adults to keep an eye on all kids. It’s not just the role of parents. These little brats are the next in line, splat bad habits now or wear them when you have less capacity to fight back!

HG

15

Oh Lord, where do I begin.

One of the things that is driving me out of Taiwan are these rat-faced, turd sucking parents. I’m sorry but I see this shit everyday and am fucking getting sick and tired of dealing with these ignorant parental assholes.

Taiwan kids, in general, are being raised to be foul mouthed and rude.

I’m tired of seeing 5th graders being fed by mom.

Why do they ask me how to stop their children from watching too much TV?

Candy and chocolate milk is not a healthy breakfast.

$5,000 NT worth of clothes covering them but don’t have a toothbrush and toothpaste?

No respect for their environment (as was mentioned in previous posts).

Don’t show up drunk when you pick up your kids (especially if you are a policeman).

How can you forget where your children are?

Pimp slapping your daughter in front of the school because she didn’t get first prize in a reading competition is not okay.

If you don’t have time to spend with your kids then don’t have them. Visiting them once a month is better than not visiting them at all is better than nothing I suppose.

If they can’t see the blackboard then buy them glasses.

Not only am I supposed to teach them English, Math, Civics, Science, and Chinese I am also supposed to teach them how to be polite, act responsibly, and be civil to each other.

More ranting later… :fume:

Durins Bane
Surrogate Parent to over 700 Taiwanese Children.

16

Sorry Durins, but you are after all a teacher. Goes with the territory.

HG

17

DB -
Yeah…I notice that shit also.
And I am not an engrish teechur. :smiling_imp: :loco:

18

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]Sorry Durins, but you are after all a teacher. Goes with the territory.

HG[/quote]

Well,

I don’t mind doing the stuff as you are right in that is does come with the job.

However, I am very much against parents not upholding their end of the “bargain”. Total disregard of any aspect of their child’s life.

19

She lectured you for being an ass so you showed her she was wrong by being an ass. Ri-ight… You really showed her. :unamused:
Had you pulled that shit with me, your cold would have been the least of your physical worries.

I have reprimanded children, which is not limited from including the infamous “teacher eye,” when they were engaging in behavior that would cause damage or could cause damage if permitted in a similar situation. For instance, I watched kids pounding on the glass of the big aquarium at Fins. No supervising adults in sight. The glass was very thick so there was little chance that it would have shattered, but with different glass, with the way they were pounding on it, it would have so I intervened with a “bu ke yi”.

I have spoken to children in my school who were with parents when those parents were not paying attention to their children. I had one boy not too long ago who tugged on his mother’s hand, started dragging her off (yes, letting herself get physically pulled away by a 4-year-old child), and screamed at her while she was trying to talk to me. The mother ignored his behavior and tried the impossible task of continuing a conversation with me. I stopped her with a polite, “Excuse me,” leaned over to the boy and told him, “____, your mother and I are talking. When we are finished she will be able to talk to you. Right now, I need you to wait quietly for your turn to talk. Thank you.” When I stood back up, the mother’s face was red with embarrassment. She told me she can never get him to listen and that I had a way with children. I didn’t have the nerve to tell her that the “way” I have is high expectations for appropriate, respectful behavior from children.

I think when parents or the adults who are supposed to be responsible for a child neglect to ensure their children are behaving in a safe manner, they give you the okay to step in, whether they like being embarrassed or not. It’s not about the adults or controlling others. It’s about the safety and comfort of the children and the people who are also in the area.

20

You didn’t need to do that – you’re allowed to use the f-word on Forumosa.