Actually, having fun at WallMart is not really that difficult. There are alway women who weigh over 200 kg who park their trolley in the middle of isle and have a chat with their girlfriends. Just put on dark glasses and ram the shit out of their carts while goping tits and apologising profusily for your blindness.
On the other hand here are some more serious way to have fun in the Disneyland of shopping:Letter from management:
Dear Mrs. Hughes, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Robert Hughes has
beencausing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this type of behavior and ve banned you and your husband from shopping in any of our Wal Mart and Sam’s Club stores effective immediately.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your
husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Hughes have been compiled and are listed below.
Mr. Wally Zimbrowski, Wal-Mart Complaint Department
MEMO Re: Mr. Robert Hughes - Complaints - Worst 15
Things Mr. Hughes has one while his spouse/partner is shopping:
-
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people’s arts when they weren’t looking. -
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
go off at 5-minute ntervals. -
July 7: Made a trail of pineapple juice on the
floor leading to the est rooms. -
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official tone, Code 3’ in housewares… and watched what
happened. -
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to
put a bag of M&M’s on lay away. -
September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign
to a carpeted area. -
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows
from the bedding department. -
September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help
him, he begins to cry and asks Why can’t you people just leave me
alone?’ -
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
-
November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants
are. -
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme. -
December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
“Madonna look” using different size funnels. (Sorry, I don’t get this one either) -
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
-
December 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s
those voices again!!!”
And; last, but not least!)
- December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet
paper in here!”
Now, I know, that’s just kind of cute but what really pleased me about this whole thing was recalling a conversation with my future son-in-law. He and my daughter flew from the mid U.S. to our home on the West coast. We had never met this guy but because our daughter loved him, we knew that he must be a good guy. Upon entry to our home, the young man looks aghast at my grandson and loudly proclaims, " Oh know. A child. The judge said that that is forbidden." I fell in love with the the young man even before we had shaken hands. He’s good for my humor and certainly is good for my daughter.