Head shakers

Discussion Open Forum
1

This thread is dedicated to situations that defy logic. It’s really just meant to be fun. Although these situations can be annoying, I can always laugh later, it’s especially funny when these things happen to someone else.

I walk into the flying pig in Hsinchu with one friend, we are the first two people there because it is 8pm. We grab a seat in the corner that has 2 chairs and a sofa(enough for 4 people). The server comes over and tells us we can’t sit there, when I asked why, she said because this spot was designated for four people.

Two minutes later:
Server: What would you like, we have a 2 for 1 beer special
Me:I’ll take that please, we are also hungry can you give us a couple minutes
Server: The cook isn’t here right now
Me: When will the cook be here?
Server: I don’t know

I never got food that night. I don’t feel this was a Taiwanese thing per se, just an idiot.

2

Yes, in most restaurants nobody puts anything on the floor so getting a couple of extra seats onto which one may put their bags, etc. is a pretty normal thing in Taiwan. Thus, why would they break from the norm here? A valid question.

It’s probably their polite way of telling you that the local gangsters that supposedly camp out in the place had called that as “their” table. Every few months, some foreigner gets sent to the hospital for “offending” the Hsinchu Pig customers, usually by “being a foreigner”.

3

designated for four people? well, that’s OK, cause they’ll be along in a minute.

even worse is the following all-too common scenario:

a cafe announces ‘waffles’ on an outside sign. inside, the only way to get waffles is in an Afternoon Tea set with other stuff like cakes and biscuits.
can’t i get waffles on their own?
no, they are only offered in a set…
OK, we’ll have a set then. can i get coffee instead of tea?
No, coffee is not part of the set.
OK, we’ll have the set, my friend will have the tea and i will get an extra coffee on the side. can i get an espresso (on the menu)?
sure.
large or medium cup?
small cup for the espresso, thanks. actually, make it short and strong if you can.
sorry, all the coffee is the same strength.
but you have an espresso machine?
yes, we do.
so can i have a small short coffee?
yes (grudgingly).

ten minutes later (after listening to espresso machine in action):
coffee arrives. it is in a large mug. it is a short black sized serve…abuout 50ml, just what i asked ror. mmm, could be good. Oh oh, it’s reheated drip coffee from a large jug, and the espresso machine was used for making someone else’s iced coffee…

five minutes later again:
tea arrives. it’s not bad as far as fruit (kumquat) tea goes, i am informed. blech, not my favourite.

another five minutes later:
cakes arrive. beautiful hand made italian and french mouth-sixed biscotti, apple cakes, tartlets, etc. really excellent.

another five minutes later:
waffle (one) arrives. its slightly burnt on the outside, yet the inside is doughy and uncooked. and the best part is, it is filled with TUNA AND ONION PASTE. no icecream, unlike the advertised version

gotta love taiwan.

4

Ho Chi Minh, 7:59 AM. Sign outside a coffee shop says “open for breakfast every day at 8:00 AM”. I go inside, three waitresses block my path and tell me they don’t open until 8:00, so I have to go back outside. I stand outside for approximately 45 seconds, then come back in, at which time they warmly welcome me and lead me to a table. They give me a few minutes to check over the menu, and when I give them my order they tell me the cook doesn’t start until 8:30.

Taiwan might be nutty, but it’s nuttier elsewhere.

5

Morons. Its situations like this when you hang your head and realise that no…Taiwan is never gonna make the transition from manufacturing to service

6

Swimming pool rules…

The rule about those longer swim shorts vs. the huggers makes my head shake, not because of the rule exactly, but the logic…

Conversation at pool recently, 3 moms 5 kids and a few attendants:
That boy can’t wear those pants in the pool.
Why not?
They are not swimpants.
Yes they are. That’s why I bought them.
They are dirty.
But they are brand new from Costco. This is the first time he’s worn them.
But you might wear them outside and they will be dirty.
But they are not, they are brand new swimshorts.
But they are dirty…

((My own son’s lycra swimsuit has been worn at the beaches of five countries, but it is OK… because it is … not dirty?))

Company names…

We were looking for an international moving co. I saw the name on the truck " … International Moving Company" , tel 0800…

We call…
Hello?
Hello, are you a moving company that does international moving?
No, we aren’t, we only deliver in Taipei. Why would you think we are international?..

7

thats why nobody dies from LOW blood pressure in Taiwan

8

[quote=“asiababy”]Swimming pool rules…
[/quote]

Situation 1)
Pool guy: You MUST wear a swim cap. Its the rules of the pool!

me: Why?

Pool guy: Because to stop hair going in the pool

me: But I have a shaved head!..and I have chest hair!

Pool guy: um…

Situation 2)

Pool guy: You can’t take your mp3 player

me: Why? Its water proof. Its designed for swimming

Pool guy: But other people might think they can take their mp3 player too

me: Well if they’re so stupid they will break their mp3 player

Pool guy: But its dangerous

me: huh?!!?

9

Another pool story:

Baby is 8 months old. Won’t wear swim cap. Keeps taking it off. Her head is never under the water anyway. But one attendant comes over.
Your baby has to wear a swimcap.
I know, I am trying to get her to but she won’t wear it.
She has to wear it.
OK.

Another attendant comes over.
Put on your babys swimcap.
I’m trying. She keeps taking it off. Do you have some idea how she can keep it on?
Make her.
(I try again. I am trying to obey the rules but daughter is not so obedient)
Well, her head is not going under the water. And we are the only ones in the pool. Can we let it go this time and try another time?
Ok.

Another attendant comes over.
Your baby has to wear her swimcap.
Yes I know but she doesn’t understand and her head is not under the water and we are the only ones in the pool. I want to cooperate but I am sorry I have no idea how to get her to cooperate.
Tell her…
YOU tell her!

Friend’s story:
3 year old boys cannot go into the girls changing room with their mothers. They have to go alone through the boys locker room.
But he is only 3 and I am not leaving him alone in the locker room.
It’s the rule.
It’s stupid. Who will look after him?
We will take him.
((Attendant takes him through and… leaves him next to the pool alone to wait for his mother…))

10

Me to Sales Manager: “This stack of catalogues is 7 years old, and we don’t even make some of this stuff anymore - we should make new ones…”
Him:“We can’t make new ones - we still have all these to give out.”
Me:“Well, maybe we should start giving them out to get rid of them.”
Him:“We can’t give these out - these are old, and we don’t even make some of this stuff anymore”.

11

Another pool story, even though this happened to me in Malaysia.

(I change into Speedo brand swim trunks, not the skimpy Speedo swim suit.)

pool attendant: Uh, I’m sorry you can’t wear those here.
me: Why not?
pool attendant: They’re shorts. You can’t swim in shorts here. You need to wear a swim suit.
me: It’s not a swim suit. They’re swim trunks. Look, there’s a lining and everything. They are not shorts.
pool attendant: I’m sorry, but you have to wear Speedo’s here, not shorts.
me: But these ARE Speedo’s!

To make it “better,” he offered to let me borrow some Speedo briefs for the afternoon.’:eek:’

Borrow a swim suit? Yea, that’s hygienic. Needless to say, I didn’t get to swim that afternoon.

12

[quote=“david_in_taipei”]Another pool story, even though this happened to me in Malaysia.

(I change into Speedo brand swim trunks, not the skimpy Speedo swim suit.)

pool attendant: Uh, I’m sorry you can’t wear those here.
me: Why not?
pool attendant: They’re shorts. You can’t swim in shorts here. You need to wear a swim suit.
me: It’s not a swim suit. They’re swim trunks. Look, there’s a lining and everything. They are not shorts.
pool attendant: I’m sorry, but you have to wear Speedo’s here, not shorts.
me: But these ARE Speedo’s!

To make it “better,” he offered to let me borrow some Speedo briefs for the afternoon.’:eek:’

Borrow a swim suit? Yea, that’s hygienic. Needless to say, I didn’t get to swim that afternoon.[/quote]

in Taiwan its speedo briefs (or your undies in kenting) for men and bikini or one piece for ladies. so? get with it dudes.

now, it should be illegal for me to wear speedo briefs in my 99kg glory but then? they asked for it !!!

id be harpooned at a los angeles beach and sold for whale meat at the local sushi bar but in TAiwan? its their call, give them what they want !!

13

In Taiwan for some reason, the most popular male swimsuit seems to be bicycle shorts with the top pulled up over the belly button.

14

My friend paid a deposit of US$50 to a phone company in San Diego when they connected him.

When he asked to be disconnected they sent him a closing bill, which he paid. Then he asked for his deposit back. They couldn’t give him his deposit back because he had an outstanding bill - for the line rental between the time he asked for his closing bill and the day his cheque cleared. He suggested that a ‘closing bill’ should be for the total amount required in order to close his account, but that didn’t change the fact that he now had an outstanding bill.

He asked them to deduct the amount owed from the deposit, which is what deposits are supposed to be for, but they didn’t have a procedure for that. He had to write a cheque for less than $2.

Then he asked for hs deposit back, to be told that because of the delay with the payment of his closing bill he had to pay them for the line rental for the days spent arguing, and so on…

Their system didn’t consider an account to be closed until all charges had been paid and the cheque cleared. Charges continued to accrue until the account was closed, so it was basically impossible to ever close the account.

He had originally gone with this company after hearing stories about how crap Pacific Bell were. The other company usually only provide service to businesses, but he lived on a boat in a marina so his address was considered to be a business. This was great until the city government sent him a bill for business tax. He called to ask what was going on and they told him that he was classed as a business because he used a phone company that only served businesses. The only way to avoid the tax was to change phone company.

At least in Taiwan someone will fudge something to deal with situations like this.