Heavy Heads To Go

Hidden under the welter of information and news emanating from the U.S. Armed forces HQ in Iraq is an interesting little piece on how the U.S. Army will assess GI’s suitability to serve in Iraq:

i Baghdad 30th March. U.S. Army Lieutenant General Isaac Broadjaw has ordered that all U.S. troops currently serving in Iraq must report to their base commanders to undergo a screening test to assess their continuing suitability to serve with the coalition forces in Iraq. Army Medical Corps personnel will weigh the heads of troops to ensure their safety during the upcoming hot summer months. Any soldier whose head weighs more than 3.5 kilograms will be re-assigned to duty on the U.S. mainland. According to Lt. General Broadjaw the Army wants to ensure that remaining troops have the flexibilty to allow their heads to shrink as the temperature rises. Those whose heads weigh too much or are too big will not be able to withstand temperatures above 100 degrees Fahrenheit and will hinder others as they carry out their duties due to cranium shrinkage putting pressure on the temples. Sceptics believe that this is just a medical ruse to reduce U.S. troop levels by weeding out the ones with more intelligence, leaving the less intelligent ones to be sacrificed to save the Bush presidential legacy. Sunni politicians believe that the troop levels will remain about the same.[/i]



This is an outrage! Why must we “assume” that those with larger craniums are more intelligent? Surely this is akin to believing those with equine-like penises are better lovers?

This kind of bias based on physical appearance must END! All troops deserve the same fair and equal chance to die and kill in Iraq. Well, “fair” in the sense that of the people who sign up are not really forced to do so by economic or other social pressures; it is a choice really, that big and little headed people make.

jdseeths :fume:

Shrinks … heads … I smell liberals at work.

this is so bizarre. i don’t even know how to react…

I’d check the date this was published…