I thought it a good idea to add my two cents to this all-new forum. This post relates to my previous post “Wassup with this girl…”
The short and tall of it - I really liked this girl whom I worked with and visa versa. She had a boyfriend but that didn’t deter us from getting it on for a few months. Eventually she ended it (our ‘affair’), citing overwhelming guilt as the main reason she wanted it to stop.
She continued to date her boyfriend. She told him about us. He forgave her (good man or sucker?). We continued to work together. My feelings for her lingered but I wasn’t sure of her feelings for me. When I started seeing another girl she ignored me for two weeks. I stopped seeing the girl, as it wasn’t going anywhere.
She was retrenched recently and we hung out from time to time. I told her that I was still very fond of her and she responded by saying she didn’t have reciprocal feelings. That twisted me up a bit, but I let it be.
This week she called to say she wanted to see me. She came by and dropped off the letter below, looking very miserable. I read it numerous times but still haven’t quite got the just of it. Your fulltime analysis and advice please…
"Last night was the bravest night I ever had. I know I’m gonna lose him (boyfriend) but I still told him about the feelings that I have for you.
I told him that not because I want a chance to be with you but to be true to my real feelings. I was cruel. And I couldn’t stop crying the whole night. I did it anyway. I wonder if you know what it feels like to feel like you’ve killed someone who loves you more than he loves himself. I felt it last night.
I don’t feel bad this time because I’m being honest. Being true to myself. And I’m more clear now, if I can’t be happy or satisfied with him, I can’t be happy with you.
I loved you, and I still care for you. But I can only give one person the love that I have in my heart. I’ll just keep it, from now…
You take care of yourself. This is like killing the second person.
Don’t ever text message me again. I know this is…ridiculous.