Help me decode woman-talk!

I thought it a good idea to add my two cents to this all-new forum. This post relates to my previous post “Wassup with this girl…”

The short and tall of it - I really liked this girl whom I worked with and visa versa. She had a boyfriend but that didn’t deter us from getting it on for a few months. Eventually she ended it (our ‘affair’), citing overwhelming guilt as the main reason she wanted it to stop.

She continued to date her boyfriend. She told him about us. He forgave her (good man or sucker?). We continued to work together. My feelings for her lingered but I wasn’t sure of her feelings for me. When I started seeing another girl she ignored me for two weeks. I stopped seeing the girl, as it wasn’t going anywhere.

She was retrenched recently and we hung out from time to time. I told her that I was still very fond of her and she responded by saying she didn’t have reciprocal feelings. That twisted me up a bit, but I let it be.

This week she called to say she wanted to see me. She came by and dropped off the letter below, looking very miserable. I read it numerous times but still haven’t quite got the just of it. Your fulltime analysis and advice please…

"Last night was the bravest night I ever had. I know I’m gonna lose him (boyfriend) but I still told him about the feelings that I have for you.

I told him that not because I want a chance to be with you but to be true to my real feelings. I was cruel. And I couldn’t stop crying the whole night. I did it anyway. I wonder if you know what it feels like to feel like you’ve killed someone who loves you more than he loves himself. I felt it last night.

I don’t feel bad this time because I’m being honest. Being true to myself. And I’m more clear now, if I can’t be happy or satisfied with him, I can’t be happy with you.

I loved you, and I still care for you. But I can only give one person the love that I have in my heart. I’ll just keep it, from now…

You take care of yourself. This is like killing the second person.

Don’t ever text message me again. I know this is…ridiculous.

Love
Coco

[quote=“Coco”]Don’t ever text message me again. I know this is…ridiculous.

Love
Coco[/quote]
After decoding, this part of the letter should read: “If you text message me now, I’ll drop this other guy for good.” I’d text message her, even if just to piss her off. Don’t pressure her or ask her to make a choice. Just text message her and dangle the option in her face. I can’t possibly see how she would expect you to not send her a text message after writing this. Enjoy.

Well… Good and fine friends, but…

Gregsoul, you really like this girl and still want to be with her?

Now, that’s very important. If you really like her, you should dangle the prospect of her being able to call you darling every day in front of her.

If not, “respect her wish”. (Regarding her true wich, I think Jive Turkey translated that fair enough).

My word, how old is this chick? 19?
He loves me more than he loves himself? Muahahahahaha.
Leaving somebody is like killing him? Muahahahaha.
She sounds like bad news to me. Next!

What the double belly-button said. The lassie’s a nutter.

I agree with the previous responses, she’s a little nutty.

In English: “Blah blah blah…please text me. I am a drama queen blah blah blah but can’t you see what I’m really getting at? Blah blah blah TEXT ME!!!”

Just text her.

Many of the xiaojies here love melodrama, don’t they? Best avoided unless you are head over heels and can’t help yourself. I’m not drawn to complicated female types - I like down-to-earth, no bullshit, no mystery, no boyfriends, no mind games.

And I guess that is why beer is my one true love. I’ve always found beer to be reliable and uncomplicated.

[quote=“twonavels”]My word, how old is this chick? 19?
He loves me more than he loves himself? Muahahahahaha.
Leaving somebody is like killing him? Muahahahaha.
She sounds like bad news to me. Next![/quote]

Said by a true WOMAN :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

My advice is run now while you still can. This girl likes drama way too much. Plus if she really likes you make her work for it a little.

I agree with my sisters. This is not woman-talk. This is psycho-xiaojie talk. When she starts bringing up killing other men, even metaphorically, to get you to want to be with her it’s time to head for the hills. Either that or she’s got a huge ego.

Bad news in both cases.

When I read that text message, I was half expecting to see a “trembling hand over the heart head thrown back in desperate passion a la Scarlett O’Hara” emoticon.

“Oh lawd, he just cain’t bear to be without me, Rhett! It’ll jes’ kill him if I left. No, don’t try to carry me over that threshhold while the orchestra cues up the overture. Just turn away and attempt to walk off into the sunset.”

Well, a bit of drama goes with most girls here…

Lights, action… And there she goes…

A female acquaintance and I settled into a rut, where we were together like in all the time for 72 hours or thereabouts, and then steered clear of each other for 4 days, during which she would start to break up with me on day 1, contact me with appropriate care on day 3, and invite herself over on day 4. Then the merry go round could start again. :loco:

I tired of that before too long.

[quote=“twonavels”]My word, how old is this chick? 19?
He loves me more than he loves himself? Muahahahahaha.
Leaving somebody is like killing him? Muahahahaha.
She sounds like bad news to me. Next![/quote]

Thank God someone else said this first! Muy :loco:

[quote=“914”]I agree with the previous responses, she’s a little nutty.

In English: “Blah blah blah…please text me. I am a drama queen blah blah blah but can’t you see what I’m really getting at? Blah blah blah TEXT ME!!!”[/quote]

I agree.

Now, wouldn’t that be like yelling to a suicidal person ready to jump off the ledge, “JUMP for Christ sake! Just JUMP DAMNIT!!!” :stuck_out_tongue:

Soon Mr. Lovelorn here would be coming back to our forum saying, "So I text here and {insert Carrie Part Taiwan story} :blush:

:smiley:

If I were you I would text her that your fianc

So a serious question is, are there tell-tale signs before situations like this happen? Maybe the guy’s spidey senses are in need of upgrading. Or is it a matter of just “bad luck”. Or “nice guys” tend to find these types or is this equally indiscriminate?

Do not mess with people while they’re still in relationships, I think that should have been a big enough sign for most people. There’s enough drama when there’s two people involved but to add another or more is just a clusterfuck in most cases.

So this sounds like a basic love triangle … you like her, so does her boyfriend and she likes the both of you. Dude, just cut your losses and run man, there are way too many mixed messages in that letter so either get a clear answer from her or be on your way.

You know, it’s funny. Co-dependency gets such a bad rap, but the only older couples I know who are happy together after 20 or 30 years are co-dependent. I think that the myth of an “interdependent” relationship is just that–a myth. The folks I see who manage their relationships rationally are folks who aren’t in love, and not really happy, at least about their relationships.

So this woman doesn’t scare me as much as she does some of you.

Still, I think that in her mind the relationship with gregsoul will always be marred by the way in which it started–with an infidelity. As such, I think gregsoul is better off finding someone unattached. Let her do the same.

The text message should read “Fancy a shag? I’m gagging for it!”

She was boinkin’ you while she was with him.

Now look at her game.

Do you really think there’s future with her?

How long do you think you can trust her to maintain a relationship with you?

Or…what kind of relationship do you want with her?
Emotional - bad news. Sex only - is it worth the ensuing trouble?

Advice - if she knocks on your door…don’t open it.

Erm… gregsoul, where do you work??? :s