I’ve had my fair share of “troublesome addictions” and I’ve lost almost everything including my sanity cuz of it… I’ve done the insitute lockup deal, hospital stuff, counseling, etc… and although it does help, I’ve come to realize that it’s ultimately on yourself when it comes down to quitting. No one can quit for ya afterall – that’s pretty much the bottom line. It’s definitely a rough road and unfortunately there is no easy way around it.
If you are even questioning the thought of being addicted, chances are that you are. When you realize this and you’ve come to grips with it… AND made that final decision to quit – go and seek help. Otherwise you’d prolly be wasting your time and money. In otherwords, you’ve gotta WANT to quit and believe that you can do it, to make it all worthwhile… and as corny as this might sound but you’ve gotta also love yourself a bit too.
Believe in yourself… realize that you are probably not just quitting for your sake, but also for the people who are counting on you – the things that matter most in life. Use this as your motivation and constantly keep it fresh in mind. Don’t let yourself go “subconcious” [and back into that addict frame of mind]. You know your weakness, now dig deep and find your strengths and build on it. Do something new and meaningful in your life… perhaps a new purpose in life?
Whether you’ve been partying on your own or amongst others, you’ve gotta take yourself out of that equation – whatever it takes to get you out in the clear and thinking clear. Cancel all the excuses, make that decision to quit, and stick with it – no matter how difficult it gets or fearful you become, cuz the path of “troublesome addiction” only gets worse over time… 'specially with the hard stuff.
Don’t ever let your guard down even when you think your way past your problems too… It’s been almost a year of clean living for me now, after nearly a decade of abuse and believe me, there hasn’t been a day gone by that I havent thought about it. It’s a life long lesson… simply cuz you now know the “enjoyable” aspects of … now.
Quite honestly, I’ve enjoyed flying the friendly skies as a VIP frequent flyer heh (well, most of the time)… and I’m not one to regret [most] of the things I do in life, however I must say that I do regret this one cuz it simply was not worth what I sacrificed for it… There is [and will] definitely be a price to pay in the aftermath. I realize this more and more with time [as a former drugaholic]… Unfortunately though, you won’t know this price until you’re there – there is no crystal ball… and it’s sorta like bargaining your life with the devil himself. You’ve gotta ask yourself, is it [and could it possibly] all be worth it? Chances are – probably not.
Everyone’s different… it’s easier for some than others… I just hope your not like me and have to learn the hard way. Obviously, there are people who care for ya on this board… so don’t let us down hehe. If your in Taipei, I can refer you to my where I went for help out here… and no it aint for hookups either lol. If you need a source for help and/or find it hard to cope… shoot me an email: email@example.com. Sounds like you know whats right and wrong for yourself – and realize that it’s probably a time of change for you… making that decision to stay clean and seeking help is key to finding your peace – I hope you find it.