Remember, kiddies, we’re executing the anthropomorphization of your most hated hit singles; not the artists themselves, who can merely stand helpless and weep at the spectacle.
And please be merciful enough to allow a few last words… although summary executions are also allowed…
Condolences to those who actually liked the now deceased hit singles such as…
HOTEL CALIFORNIA - by firing squad.
[Hotel California approaches the wall, blindfolded]
Hotel California, do you have any last words?
[Hotel looks down melancholically]
“You can check out any time you like… But you can never leave!”
Ready… Aim…
[Hotel screams passionately]
“Goodnight, said the nightma…”
FIRE!
[sudden gun shot]
[Hotel California slumps lifelessly to the ground]
EYE IN THE SKY - by machine gun
Eye In The Sky, do you have any last words?
[Eye shakes his head indignantly]
“I am the maker of RULES!”
[sound of loading ammunition]
“I can read your mind!”
[ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatataat]
No need to execute - it was played to death long ago.
“Who Let The Dogs Out”
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT - by injection
‘Hold him down’
“Who let the dogs out? Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!”
[doctor wearing industrial ear-muffs ties band around Who Let The Dogs Out’s arm and finds vein]
“Yippy-AY-Yo!”
[doctor injects poisonous fluid]
“WHo let the dogs out? Hoo Hoo… Hoo… … hoo… … … … … … h…”
[doctor removes industrial ear-muffs and leaves the room. assistants put Who Let The Dogs Out in a body bag, zip him up, and take him away]
Girl You Know It’s True by Milli Vanilli
And by what means do we execute this hit single?