Hotel Taiwan -The Eagles got it wrong!

[gomerpyle]

@Quarters

Had to contribute to this thread…
Here is my take of a classic Simon and Garfunkel tune (Sound of Silence)

Hello Taiwan , my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was walking,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of Taiwan.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow lou’s of Ximending ,
neath the halo of neon street lamps,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of Taiwan.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand scooters everywhere.
People chewing binlang while speaking,
People staring at me intently,
People speaking words that I can never understand,
And no one cared
Translate these words of Mandarin.

Fools said waigouren, ni bu dong
Staring is just part of the culture.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take your eyes off me or I might kill you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the streets of Taiwan

And the people bowed and baibai’d
To the neon Gods they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of confucious
Are written on the MRT walls
And temple halls.
And whisperd in the sounds of Taiwan.

I think you beat me on that one.Good one.

[sandman]

Do all foreigners think of Taiwan as dirty place with easy girls and quaint backward locals chewing bin lang, driving blue trucks, and wearing flop sandals?

Not ALL of them, I’m sure.
Short bearded weel-kenspeckled forumosans? Who? Who? Do tell! OK. One of them must have been tash, obviously, but who was the other one?

[Chaon]

Do all foreigners think of Taiwan as dirty place with easy girls and quaint backward locals chewing bin lang, driving blue trucks, and wearing flop sandals?

Of course not. Sometimes the trucks are not blue.

[sandman]

The locals aren’t all quaint, either.

[tash]

@Chaon

[quote]Do all foreigners think of Taiwan as dirty place with easy girls and quaint backward locals chewing bin lang, driving blue trucks, and wearing flop sandals?

Of course not. Sometimes the trucks are not blue.[/quote]
Just a week ago I would have argued that that’s not true, ALL trucks are blue! But, then I saw this little gem on the street last week and now my whole belief system has been compromised.
Next you’ll be telling me Santa is real and wears flip-flops!

[ceevee369]

That guy was sponsored to paint his car red. he can not have a blue truck if a red party flag is on it no? let us say it was a unique exception

[Chef_David]

was that Tainan cowboy parked behind that truck in his nostalgia camo scooter?

[Dr_McCoy]

@Erhu

Change a few words of the original and a lot of this rings true. Especially the last two lines. Scary!

I did one a long time ago.

On a tropical highway, hot wind in my hair.
Deadly carbon monoxide, rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light.
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim.
I had to stop for the night.
There he stood in the doorway;
Betelnuts on his gum.
He was thinking to himself,
I’d have a good job if I wasn’t so dumb.
Then he lit up a Long Life, and he showed me the way.
Off key voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Karaoke.
Such a lovely voice.
Hurry make a choice.
Plenty of songs at the Hotel Karaoke.
Songs from yesteryear. You can find them here.

Her mind is Pikachou-twisted. She’s Hello Kitty crazed.
She got a lot of foreign friends, whose Chinese she’s praised.
How they stare at the TV, sweet summer scene.
Words you can’t remember, are scrolling 'cross the screen.

So I called up the desk clerk,
'Please bring me some beer.
He said, 'You should have gone to the Niko Mart, ‘cause we don’t sell that here.’
And still the voices are awful, and not far away,
Screaming at you in the middle of the night.
You can hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Karaoke.
Such a squeaky voice.
You don’t have a choice.
They’re singin’ it up at the Hotel Karaoke.
Such a heavy load. It’s a Country Road.

Mirrors on the ceiling,
Cameras in the wall.
She said, ‘We can sell this video, for money at the mall.’
In the KTV chamber,
They scrambled for a seat.
They sing into the microphone,
But they just can’t catch the beat.

Last thing I remember, I was
Trying to find my car.
I had to soothe my aching ears
In a quiet hostess bar.
‘Ni Hao,’ said the watchman,
‘Just get up off of your knees.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you’ve got to pay your fees!’

[Rascal]

ROTLF

[Puppet]

@Dr. McCoy

@Erhu

Change a few words of the original and a lot of this rings true. Especially the last two lines. Scary!

I did one a long time ago.

On a tropical highway, hot wind in my hair.
Deadly carbon monoxide, rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light.
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim.
I had to stop for the night.
There he stood in the doorway;
Betelnuts on his gum.
He was thinking to himself,
I’d have a good job if I wasn’t so dumb.
Then he lit up a Long Life, and he showed me the way.
Off key voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Karaoke.
Such a lovely voice.
Hurry make a choice.
Plenty of songs at the Hotel Karaoke.
Songs from yesteryear. You can find them here.

Her mind is Pikachou-twisted. She’s Hello Kitty crazed.
She got a lot of foreign friends, whose Chinese she’s praised.
How they stare at the TV, sweet summer scene.
Words you can’t remember, are scrolling 'cross the screen.

So I called up the desk clerk,
'Please bring me some beer.
He said, 'You should have gone to the Niko Mart, ‘cause we don’t sell that here.’
And still the voices are awful, and not far away,
Screaming at you in the middle of the night.
You can hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Karaoke.
Such a squeaky voice.
You don’t have a choice.
They’re singin’ it up at the Hotel Karaoke.
Such a heavy load. It’s a Country Road.

Mirrors on the ceiling,
Cameras in the wall.
She said, ‘We can sell this video, for money at the mall.’
In the KTV chamber,
They scrambled for a seat.
They sing into the microphone,
But they just can’t catch the beat.

Last thing I remember, I was
Trying to find my car.
I had to soothe my aching ears
In a quiet hostess bar.
‘Ni Hao,’ said the watchman,
‘Just get up off of your knees.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you’ve got to pay your fees!’

:bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

Can I nominate this for a classic post?

Matt

[Puppet]

Just something I wrote off the top of my head because I like doing it. To the Eagle’s “Life in the Fast Lane”

He was a beatle-nut man
Not too brutally handsome.
His gums were terminally grave.

She waved him down and
He held her for ransom
Driving all around Taipei.

He was a very, very nasty crude dude
His driving was ruthless
On binlan he chewed.

They had nothing in common.
She thought she’d be dead.
“Aiyo! Aiyo! That light was so red.”

Life in a taxi
Driving all around Taiwan.
Life in a taxi.

(Are you freaked out so far?)

Eager for action
But hating this game
The thrill of the taxi
Was too far from tame.

Cuts off all of the people
Bumping Scooters at will
She closed her eyes
To the moment until

He looked in the mirror. Smile on his face.
She pretended not to notice and she reached for her mace.

“You very pretty. You skin is so light.
Would you like hotel with me? We pay by hour or the night.”

Life in a taxi
Driving all around Taiwan.
Life in a taxi.

Glowing and burning. She sprayed him first.
He didn’t see the stop sign. But his driving didn’t get worse.
She said, “Listen, Wang-o. Think I’m gonna leave.”
“San Bai Qui” he said. She didn’t know what he means.

He said, “Call my buddies. They come with baseball bats.”
The buddies said they’re coming and you’re gonna pay the cash.
She went rushing down the side street. To the night market and got lost.
She didn’t care cause the smell now made her cough

and it was

Life in the market
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the market.

Life in the market
Who would eat chicken feet?
Life in the market.

[Puppet]

Ok. Bored and one more. Then I’m done. Have to get ready for work.

To “Heartache Tonight”

Some god’s getting shown around
before the night is through.

Some god’s gonna come through town.
There’s nothing we can do.

Everybody wants to burn their money
A polluted sight.

Everybody wants to take a little chance
To see this parade sight.

There’s gonna be a bai bai tonight. A bai bai tonight I know.
There’s gonna be a bai bai tonight. A bai bai tonight I know. Lord, I know.

Some people like to stay up late
Some folks can’t hold out that long.
Nobody’s gonna sleep right now.
All the noise going on.

This night is gonna last forever.
Always playing an off key song.
By the time that the sun comes up
The noise kept me up all night long.

There’s gonna be a bai bai tonight. A bai bai tonight I know.
There’s gonna be a bai bai tonight. A bai bai tonight I know. Lord, I know.

There’s gonna be a bai bai tonight.
The characters so bright
So grab a light
For a fireworks sight
There’s gonna be a bai bai tonight. A bai bai tonight I know.

Bai bai baby.

Some god’s getting shown around
before the night is through.

[TNT]

For all those crazy cool truck drivers… to the tune of “KING OF THE ROAD”

Whisby I buy for only 40 cents, good binglong maybe I give you hints
No look, no stop, no fret, me not cause many road deaths, ah but
Two hours of driving through finds me a binglong stand with a small back room,
And she’ll be gagging for it, cause I am the King of the Road

Third highway drive today, destination Nantou lets say
Ease off on Taiwan beer, police waiting for me at the highway toll stations near, I smoke
Long Life, 5 packs a day, 20 packs if I could find a way
I’m a man of means by no means, King of the Road

I know every dodgy mechanic at the DMV
Who passes my truck for a small fee
And the price I have to pay its alright
2 packs of binglong
And a night with the wife

Whisby I buy for only 40 cents, good binglong maybe I give you hints
No look, no stop, no fret, me not cause many road deaths, ah but
Two hours of driving through finds me a binglong stand with a small back room,
And she’ll be gagging for it, cause I am the King of the Road