Hotness Delusion Syndrome

Life Dating & Relationships
21

[quote=“housecat”]I honestly think guys sometimes get confused when they come here. Especailly guys who’ve never left the States before.

There are girls here who will “hit” just about anything white/black/brown. Some girls have a foreigner fetish. As I understand it (and really, this is all hearsay comming from me), these girls usually hang out in the same bars that the foreigner guys like. That makes sense, right? You don’t hunt buffalo in a lion’s den after all, and there’s plenty of social lubrication available to all parties.

So, an average to well below average guy from back home (looks and intellect), suddenly has a really easy time “scoring” with Taiwanese girls. He doesn’t really realize, or take the time to think about, why this is suddenly so easy. Why would he? He’s suddenly getting more sex from better looking girls than he’s ever had in his life.

Then, when he’s tired of easy sex with easy girls and starts to want a relationship, he’s confronted with the fact that he suddenly still can’t get women.

He can’t speak the language well enough, he’s still of only average intelligence, still average looking (although that may really not matter as much–his one advantage), and has to date someone old enough to be his mother in order to find a woman of an acceptable level of maturity.

Poor guys.[/quote]

Bingo. Most of the foriegn guys I knew who had Taiwanese girlfriends met them either at work or at the same expat bar hangouts. The women already spoke fluent English or acceptable conversational English enough, so language wasn’t a problem. Actually, most of the marriages that I saw fell into the first category - guys marrying co-English teachers. Makes sense. The girls that hung around the bars, the pattern often was - latch onto a foreign boyfriend, and then when he moved back home, latch on to the next foreign boyfriend.

Outside of those two arenas, it’s actually very difficult to find Taiwanese women to date unless you are fluent in Mandarin, which 99% of expats here aren’t. Try picking up some cutie on the MRT if you don’t believe it.

Oh, I forgot about “language exchange”. That’s the third option foreigners have.

Libraries and bookstores are some of the best places to meet people, because the book in front of them is an automatic conversation starter. Plus you can tell a lot about personality by the type of books they read. Bars on the other hand are generally too noisy, crowded, and drunken for genuine conversation.

22

[quote=“urodacus”]
Oh, and the woman in the OP? She’s SO unhot that she attracts the ugly guys because they are aiming at an appropriate level, yet she does not realise it. It’s the real meaning of Hotness delusional syndrome she quotes for all the wrong reasons…[/quote]

That is true. If you want to gauge your level of hotness, look at the people that hit on you. Gorgeous women don’t actually get hit on that much because most guys are intimidated by them. In fact, I’ve read somewhere that statistically average looking people get hit on far more than very good-looking people. It makes sense, because most people instinctively go after people that are on a similar “level” that they themselves are on, and since the majority of people by definition are average, people that are average have a lot more options than people that are either too below or above average in looks.

So, if ugly guys keep hitting on you? Maybe you better look in a mirror, sister.

23

[quote=“Quentin”][quote=“housecat”]I honestly think guys sometimes get confused when they come here. Especailly guys who’ve never left the States before.

There are girls here who will “hit” just about anything white/black/brown. Some girls have a foreigner fetish. As I understand it (and really, this is all hearsay comming from me), these girls usually hang out in the same bars that the foreigner guys like. That makes sense, right? You don’t hunt buffalo in a lion’s den after all, and there’s plenty of social lubrication available to all parties.

So, an average to well below average guy from back home (looks and intellect), suddenly has a really easy time “scoring” with Taiwanese girls. He doesn’t really realize, or take the time to think about, why this is suddenly so easy. Why would he? He’s suddenly getting more sex from better looking girls than he’s ever had in his life.

Then, when he’s tired of easy sex with easy girls and starts to want a relationship, he’s confronted with the fact that he suddenly still can’t get women.

He can’t speak the language well enough, he’s still of only average intelligence, still average looking (although that may really not matter as much–his one advantage), and has to date someone old enough to be his mother in order to find a woman of an acceptable level of maturity.

Poor guys.[/quote]

Bingo. Most of the foreign guys I knew who had Taiwanese girlfriends met them either at work or at the same expat bar hangouts. The women already spoke fluent English or acceptable conversational English enough, so language wasn’t a problem. Actually, most of the marriages that I saw fell into the first category - guys marrying co-English teachers. Makes sense. The girls that hung around the bars, the pattern often was - latch onto a foreign boyfriend, and then when he moved back home, latch on to the next foreign boyfriend.

Outside of those two arenas, it’s actually very difficult to find Taiwanese women to date unless you are fluent in Mandarin, which 99% of expats here aren’t. Try picking up some cutie on the MRT if you don’t believe it.

Oh, I forgot about “language exchange”. That’s the third option foreigners have.

Libraries and bookstores are some of the best places to meet people, because the book in front of them is an automatic conversation starter. Plus you can tell a lot about personality by the type of books they read. Bars on the other hand are generally too noisy, crowded, and drunken for genuine conversation.[/quote]

It does seem that some people hook up with co-teachers but there are many other options. Most guys I know that married Taiwanese women did not marry co-teachers. And one does not need to be fluent to pick up a girl in Mandarin. Conversational Chinese is good enough.

24

Foreign guys don’t pick up hotties on the MRT because no one talks to anyone on the MRT. Foreign guys don’t talk to middle-aged office dudes on the MRT. That’s just the MRT. This is quite common with mass transit in other countries also.

Dating websites. That’s what I would suggest. Tons and tons and tons of Taiwanese girls use dating websites and they speak passable English. There are lots of girls who would actually like to meet guys (of any nationality), but they don’t know a socially acceptable way to go about it. These women (plenty of them aren’t 30 something and “over the hill” by Taiwanese standards), for whatever reason, don’t have contact with a lot of men, or none that they’re interested in (or they don’t want to date someone from work or whatever). Yet they’re not willing to go out on the prowl precisely because they feel hamstrung by society’s rules that you don’t talk to strangers and they don’t want to go to pick up joints. They’re not even foreign groupies. They just want to find a way to meet guys. Fair enough.

As for the woman who wrote that article, the bigger shock for her will be when either 1) those guys stop hitting on her in five or ten years, 2) they do hit on her and she starts to actually pay them some attention because they’re as good as she’s going to get.

I think that guy was definitely chatting her up, but I don’t think that’s always the case with middle-aged (or older) men. Those guys talk to everyone and it’s not even a case of them having an active audience. Someone who is just there is good enough. Actually, middle aged and older women do it too.

25

[quote=“GuyInTaiwan”]Foreign guys don’t pick up hotties on the MRT because no one talks to anyone on the MRT. Foreign guys don’t talk to middle-aged office dudes on the MRT. That’s just the MRT. This is quite common with mass transit in other countries also.

Dating websites. That’s what I would suggest. Tons and tons and tons of Taiwanese girls use dating websites and they speak passable English. There are lots of girls who would actually like to meet guys (of any nationality), but they don’t know a socially acceptable way to go about it. These women (plenty of them aren’t 30 something and “over the hill” by Taiwanese standards), for whatever reason, don’t have contact with a lot of men, or none that they’re interested in (or they don’t want to date someone from work or whatever). Yet they’re not willing to go out on the prowl precisely because they feel hamstrung by society’s rules that you don’t talk to strangers and they don’t want to go to pick up joints. They’re not even foreign groupies. They just want to find a way to meet guys. Fair enough.

As for the woman who wrote that article, the bigger shock for her will be when either 1) those guys stop hitting on her in five or ten years, 2) they do hit on her and she starts to actually pay them some attention because they’re as good as she’s going to get.

I think that guy was definitely chatting her up, but I don’t think that’s always the case with middle-aged (or older) men. Those guys talk to everyone and it’s not even a case of them having an active audience. Someone who is just there is good enough. Actually, middle aged and older women do it too.[/quote]

That’s true even in small town America. There seems to be some unspoken rule that you keep to yourself on the bus. Which I am perfectly fine with. Funnily enough, this rule does not seem to apply to middle-aged people, male or female. They’ll chat up any random stranger, and do it all the time. I don’t know if it’s because they’re lonely and want someone to talk to, or maybe that by age 50 you suddenly no longer give a f^%# and start doing whatever the hell you please. People do tend to get a lot less self-conscious as they grow older. I encounter middle-aged women getting chatty with me all the time and I really, really don’t think that they are hitting on me at all. They’re just being, you know, middle aged women - chatty. Middle aged guys do the same thing. Except for the cranky old men who don’t want to talk to nobody.

When I was in Taiwan, I had dating websites or MSN chatting as the way to go to find a local girlfriend. I never considered it. There’s so much missing, flirting over the computer. Even with web cams so that you can at least see what the other person looks like…so much communication in the romantic arena is non-verbal, and even with web cams, all that stuff in the air, that “spark”, is totally missing when you’re not in the actual, physical presence of the other person.

26

Shit, Quentin! Sorry to see you’ve fallen off the wagon. People, whether they’re bosses, potential bosses, ladies, potential ladies, etc. just don’t tend to go for the kind of snake oil you’re touting. 'Aint them, dude. Its you. As your friendly avuncular Tomas pointed out so succinctly. (Even though he’s a cunt for STILL not coming up to the Eagle’s Nest with his unruly brood.

27

[quote=“Quentin”]

That is true. If you want to gauge your level of hotness, look at the people that hit on you. [/quote]
Bullshit! I’m a dog, yet every time we meet, Tash wants to grab my buttocks. The fact that she doesn’t actually DO it is testament only to her sense of decorum.

28

[quote=“sandman”][quote=“Quentin”]

That is true. If you want to gauge your level of hotness, look at the people that hit on you. [/quote]
Bullshit! I’m a dog, yet every time we meet, Tash wants to grab my buttocks. The fact that she doesn’t actually DO it is testament only to her sense of decorum.[/quote]
Hey, I’d do it online. Nobody likes me anymore. :bluemad:

29

I feel hot.

and my testicles are very tense.

30

[quote=“divea”][quote=“sandman”][quote=“Quentin”]

That is true. If you want to gauge your level of hotness, look at the people that hit on you. [/quote]
Bullshit! I’m a dog, yet every time we meet, Tash wants to grab my buttocks. The fact that she doesn’t actually DO it is testament only to her sense of decorum.[/quote]
Hey, I’d do it online. Nobody likes me anymore. :bluemad:[/quote]
My online glutes bear the scars, Divea. They bear the scars. The memories, though… ahh! Cinaligers. (You have to talk that last one through a little bit.)

31

[quote=“sandman”][quote=“divea”][quote=“sandman”][quote=“Quentin”]

That is true. If you want to gauge your level of hotness, look at the people that hit on you. [/quote]
Bullshit! I’m a dog, yet every time we meet, Tash wants to grab my buttocks. The fact that she doesn’t actually DO it is testament only to her sense of decorum.[/quote]
Hey, I’d do it online. Nobody likes me anymore. :bluemad:[/quote]
My online glutes bear the scars, Divea. They bear the scars. The memories, though… ahh! Cinaligers. (You have to talk that last one through a little bit.)[/quote]
:laughing: So long as you feel it! See Quentin, that’s a hot guy, right there. He’d pretend to be grabbed if a lady says so :thumbsup:

32

Thank you for your typically gracious and eloquent commentary, Sandman, which as usual is insightful, entirely on-topic, and not at all gratuitously ad homineum.

33

:smiley: You’re one of us!!! Welcome to sarcasmaholics!!!

34

Finally! You’re beginning to make some sense. We’ve been down this road SO many times in the past, Quentin. For YEARS now, you’ve been complaining about how hard it is for YOU to connect. And yet, and yet… you’re STILL utterly convinced that it is everybody else’s fault and not yours. WAKE THE FUCK UP, LADDIE! If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck… :unamused:
I’ve never met you, (although I’ve heard enough about you from those who know you), but going purely and simply by your posts, DUDE! You post like a total FLAKE! If you are ANYTHING AT ALL in real life like you portray yourself on here, it is no wonder AT ALL that you can’t hook up!

35

I hope I never reach the level where I’m trolling museums handing out business cards to women that have completely shot me down. Wow! that is a new level of pathetic.

36

We all reach that level eventually, I think.

When I hit that point, I just hope I’m not wearing face fungus while I’m handing out my pathetic business cards.

37

We all reach that level eventually, I think.

When I hit that point, I just hope I’m not wearing face fungus while I’m handing out my pathetic business cards.[/quote]

getting shot down often. not uncommon.

phishing with business cards after doing so. I hope not.

38

I agree with the second part of not handing out business cards after being shot down, but there’s nothing wrong with trolling museums for women. I’d much rather meet a potential girlfriend in a museum or library than a bar. I don’t understand the attitude some people seem to have that the bar on a Saturday night is the only socially acceptable place to pick up people.

39

Seriously, the last time I tried pulling in a bar, the woman I wound up with, somehow the conversation steered towards the end of the night about my penis and what its exact measurements were, before she would agree to go home with me. This was…what’s the word?..skanky, way too skanky for me. Cute and hot, but even I’ve got standards.

(For Housecat: it was in the legendary Roger’s Rec off of Dickson St.)

40

[quote]
“…or maybe that by age 50 you suddenly no longer give a f^%# and start doing whatever the hell you please.”
[/quote]

Thats pretty much the way it is…:smiley:

Mind over matter…
We don’t mind 'cause it don’t matter.