How can I safely sabotage my wife's scooter?

I’m sure I have your attention with the thread title. :laughing: But it’s true…

Here’s the story. My wife’s 50cc scooter is so old and beat up that I don’t think anyone should be going near it. But she refuses to part with it. It starts and it goes but the suspension and the brakes are in very bad shape. I think it’s about 14 years old and it was not cared for very well. Everything is either loose, scratched up, broken or covered in oil leaks. It’s a disgusting machine.

I offered to scrap it and buy a new one but she doesn’t want to part with it. She insists that if I buy a new scooter, she will not use it until her scooter dies… There is no discussing this with her. A premature death of the machine seems to be the only solution.

It is the first and only scooter she has ever owned and I think there’s a sentimental attachment to that piece of junk. I don’t want her to ride it anymore. I think it’s a disaster waiting to happen. It’s dangerous.

This is not the most honest way to go about this but I tried everything else I can think of. It would be a white lie, no? I just want her to ride something safer, and I’ll be buying her a new one. So how can I kill it so that the local mechanic will call the time of death on this machine? I need it to die and never start again without leaving evidence of sabotage.

Thanks!

Rob

I can relate with this for sure. My mechanic and I are good friends (since he speaks english) and I explained I would buy the new one (or used but Yamaha certified type thing) from him if he came up with a long list of things that ‘needed’ to get fixed on the old machine (hers). Worked wonders, but that is figuring you can communicate well with the mechanic that is going to say it is a goner.

I was going to suggest sugar in the gas, but according to Mythbusters… busted.
That said, bleach in the oil may do the trick, if a little hot.

edit: maybe not such a good idea, according to the comments:

[quote]NEVER NEVER NEVER COMBINE ANY CHLORINE PRODUCT ( BLEACH, HTH, ETC ) WITH A PETROLEUM PRODUCT IT WILL EXPLODE
READ YOUR M.S.D.S. BEFORE ATTEMPTING YOUR TESTS[/quote]

I sympathize with ya.

Why not just “steal” it? Scooters get stolen all the time…

How about sand in the gas tank? Orr is that mythbusted too?

Or you could just take out the engine…

water in the gastank. it’s almost natural!

or let out lots of air from the tires, and bind the rear brake somehow (increase cable tension, etc)…

Or you could teabag the scooter, then she’ll never want to use it again

Whatever you do, do it out of view of security cameras. :wink:

Couldn’t you borrow her scooter and have an accident?

NO, arrange for it to be stolen (outside of the view of security cameras) so the cops will only have a one liner in their report.

She will know that sometimes the scrungiest scoots the one to get stolen. She will think it was borrowed by someone who really needed it and thought this was the lesser of an evil to steal hers.

p…s. you got one stubborn wife :slight_smile: (we all know at least one stubborn lady tho and usually we are related to her)

p.p.s. Dont trash it and make sure that it is “held” in a safe place in case she goes absolutely emotionally unbalanced. Some peeps get way too attached to something.

Could it be that someone just “accidently” pushed it on the side so all plastic fairings on that side got broken?
Who would want to drive such an ugly things? :raspberry:
Then you can make a small funeral somewhere in the backyard? The same way when we were kids we make funeral for little mouse since your wife so emotionally attached to this poor little ugliness.

[quote=“feropont”]Could it be that someone just “accidently” pushed it on the side so all plastic fairings on that side got broken?
Who would want to drive such an ugly things? :raspberry:
Then you can make a small funeral somewhere in the backyard? The same way when we were kids we make funeral for little mouse since your wife so emotionally attached to this poor little ugliness.[/quote]
Did I hear someone say “funeral”? In Taiwan?

Surely y’all’ve heard of the the “Electric Wagon” funeral services in Taiwan where the truck pulls up and out pop the strippers! Woo hoo who died and left me with strippers!

If its that old, there could be a good chance that the frame is rusted through in parts. It may not be that difficult to just jump up and down in the middle of it and fold it in half. It only has a single metal tube which links the front to the back. They often rot through after years of corrosion and eventually snap on their own accord.

Offer a taxi driver 70 000 for driving over it and buy her a new one for 60 000? That would leave him 10 000 profitt.
Or a blue truck? Much can hapend to a scooter that is standing alone by the street.

Or forbid her to ride it unless she let you take it to a mecanic and get it in a safe condition.
New brakes, springs and dampers.

Change the main jet to a smaller one so the combustion temperatures get so high that they melt a hole in the piston and convince the local mecanic to tell her it’s dead since they no longer make parts for this model bla bla bla.

Try to block the fuel line so it stop every 2minutes if on more than 1/2 trottle, this should make her crazy enough to have it taken of life suport.

My wife also refuse to “waste” money on a new scooter. I just let it be and just make sure the tires are in a safe condition, that the bakes work and that the suspension is within safe limits.

Rob, an alternative would be to get it renovated so it’s as good as new or better. Not saying that it’s the best use of time and money, but that it’s possible and could keep both you and your wife happy.

Wow! I didn’t take into consideration Taiwanese customs.
Could they provide male strippers for grandma? Mental not to my-self: need to build a business plan…and calculate ROI

Sugar?

Forget all the malicious stuff and the sabotage. Just buy her a brand new scooter at Carrefour for 25 grand, park it next to the shit-bomb. Let her do the rest.

I think I will try water in the gas tank. A “natural” death seems appropriate for the old beast. How much water do I need to put in there as to not raise too much suspicion?

Stealing the scooter is a sure shot but the risk is too high. I thought about making the thing disappear already. :whistle:

Talking to her favorite mechanic is unethical. He’s the reason why her scooter fell into such disrepair. He’s an idiot. I have long stopped taking my own bike to that guy but my wife likes him. She thinks he’s a good mechanic because he has always made sure that her scooter would start and go. But that’s all he ever did! My wife thinks I’m too hard on him. I don’t think so.

I think her scooter is beyond repair or rebuilding. After what sulavaca said, I wouldn’t even trust the frame on it. It’s just too old.

[quote]Forget all the malicious stuff and the sabotage. Just buy her a brand new scooter at Carrefour for 25 grand, park it next to the shit-bomb. Let her do the rest.[/quote]I haven’t seen them that cheap. I want disk brakes on the front for her and the cheapest I’ve looked at are between 42 and 50k for 100cc. My wife is a lady of her word. She won’t touch the new scooter until hers die. I have to kill it.

She is going to take the old one…!!

You should try not to “criticize” how bad her scooter is since she is emotionally attached to it.
Tell her that you are worried abt her safety and dont want to worry to death every time she rides on it.
(you dont want to be left alone if anything happens to her~~~~pretend crying?!?!)

Get a new scooter and tell her that she still can keep the old one in the back yard or have a scooter funeral…

[quote=“RobinTaiwan”]I think her scooter is beyond repair or rebuilding. After what sulavaca said, I wouldn’t even trust the frame on it. It’s just too old.[/quote]There are 14-year old scooters around that are fine. I think my Dio was about 12 or 13 when I got rid of it, and it ran really well. Your wife’s scooter isn’t in good condition now, but could be got back to good condition again. You could fix up basically everything including the frame. Then your wife could keep her beloved scooter and you could feel more confident about her safety. Up to you though.