How do non-Asian women feel about Asian Guys?

:notworthy:

Cloud13 delivered an important message that the daily fights on this forum have reach a level that he, a user, no longer wants to participate. I feel pretty much the same way and am very close. Some may rejoice in this, “another kill”. Do I have prejudices? Yes it do, like most. Have I ever hurt a women with these, no. I love women, sometimes way too much.

Cloud13 was right to point out the damage done on this forum by the daily fights, however I do not agree with his message on the cause, or the way to solve it. I believe the two main problems in this forum have to do with intolerance and control.

Intolerance - for those who deliver a message that is not in line with what a select few want to here, or the way they want to hear it, the slugfest starts with personal attacks, name calling, and shout downs. We then see the multiple pages (in any of these forums) of the ensuing fights, with no benefit, or in response to, the OPs original topic or request. Why?

Control - Some desire to control the message of all, not just theirs, and it’s delivery.

Presently I do not feel I can express myself openly or honestly in this forum without a fight. I came here, like most, in an attempt to connect with those who have had the same Taiwan experience. I did not come here to fight.

I think it’s a fine line between “argumentative enough to be interesting” and “such a slugfest I don’t want to get involved” and we’ve been on the slugfest side for a while.

I mean we don’t want it to be like the OP asks a question, the first poster states an opinion, and everyone else simply chimes in with, “well-said sir, I completely agree!” “I concur” “Ah yes, tis true!”

I disagree that it’s only a “select few” who are intolerant and controlling though. It seems that we all exhibit those symptoms from time to time.

I disagree, and see only a select few initiate the fights with personal attacks. Analyze these threads and who initiates the personal attacks leading to the multiple pages of the ensuring fight, and who is fighting. The same sequence over and over, the same select few initiate fights with personal attacks. Not in all cases, but certainly a large majority. What does change, are the recipients of the personal attacks.

In no way am I requesting silence to something which is said if someone disagrees with what is said, or just does not like what is said. Everyone has the right to post, everyone has the right to argue, everyone has the right to their opinion. What is wrong, is making personal attacks (regarding someone’s character, believes, intelligence … really long list) as a means to belittle the other person, as a means to gain advantage in the argument, or as means to get them to STFU. There is no fine line here, it is a thick and bright RED LINE!

Some may have trouble with this form of argument, I do not think it is so difficult. Simply attack the idea/concept rather than the individual. Simply remove the personal insult/attack, then say what you want to say. Personally, I think if we do move the forum in this direction, it will be much more interesting.

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Wait are you being sarcastic, parroting what I said to you that one time???

Anyways, I thoroughly agree.

No, not being sarcastic, being sincere.

I love you all, females and males… but I especially love mosquitoes stuck in puddle of water… I love you the most… to death. Yes, randomness (or makeup sex) is key to break up a fight.

Do you like Fleetwood Mac? :howyoudoin:

This really is my last post in this thread, which of course I did read.

Most men (including mad_masala, Xeno, & Micahel) don’t think they’re alienating women. I’m certain some men don’t even care.
But enough men have historically done it that few women post in D&R. So, STFU is safest.

Xeno is actually a great example of how oblivious he is in contributing to the fights & alienation. His 1st post:

So you 3 men, is this “tolerant delivery”??? That helped to shut down the Asian males from talking.
And you wrote this after 5 women stated they liked Asian men, with 2 women involved with them posting right before.

That’s like you publicly posting you’re in a relationship with a woman, and then me posting right after you: “What I actually hear from women is that Xeno is patriarchal, condescending, clingy, jealous, shy, insecure, immature, etc.” Get it? An insult to you, and the woman who chose you.

The women don’t publicly react & ignore you. 2 pages later, post #2 to NTLT is (first line in both paragraphs):

Here you’re derailing the thread with your “dissenting opinions”. Post #3 immediately after, to Mao-mi:

Argumentative. After which Ermintrude finally engages you… and ironically, in a later post, you tell her:

Do you not see the irony. Both Xeno & mad_masalacan be calmly “expressing dissenting opinions” because they’re not a non-Asian woman or an Asian guy… they’re single white men firing out “opinions”.

And the first line & last paragraph of your rebuttal were:

Three counts of irony. Oblivious that you should follow your own advice, STFU is safest. And take this feeling to heart:

I’m extremely glad you feel this way… it’s how some women may have felt earlier in this thread by your own posts.
You finally have some common ground. Also true for the OP Micahel:

Excellent! This is likely how many women have historically felt here, & why there’s a women’s forum.
Perhaps be more “consider-ate” & “thought-ful” when posting in D&R.
No offense, but I dislike & disagree with many of your posts here in D&R. (I’m sure others feel the same way about me.)
But is it important to express every opinion I agree or disagree with? No. So, I STFU more.

Just because I STFU, definitely doesn’t mean I agree, or that I can’t rebut your last words, or that I’ll never post again.

It’s called having a conversation. I’m not trying to tell someone they’re stupid or wrong. I’m sharing another view, one which is subject to modification as the conversation proceeds. When I ask “don’t you have a women’s forum for that sort of thing” it’s a genuine question, not me shooting someone down or trying to score points. I’m doing my best to keep things from being personal, more than can be said for some posters here.

Again, your deep analysis of message board banter is both misguided and unwarranted, especially given your propensity for selective quotation. Take that first post of mine, for instance. There was a conclusion that you excised from your sample, one that changes the tone of the entire message. That first message conveyed the views of some people I have met, views that I don’t actually share, and I stressed that they should be taken with a grain of salt. I could have worded it differently and stressed the point that cultural differences are far more important than physical ones, a sentiment commonly expressed by both Asian and non-Asian men when this topic comes up. If I knew my posts were going to be scrutinized to such a degree I would have taken more time and worded things differently. Actually, I wouldn’t have bothered posting at all.

But you’re not interested in any of that. You’ve got a thesis to prove: Xeno is bad people. Why? I haven’t the slightest idea. I’m not trolling or belittling anyone’s intelligence. Anyway, if you’re done wasting everyone’s time by now, perhaps we can get back to more important matters… which is to say, just about anything else.

Edited: I probably shouldn’t post right when I wake up.

Believe the thread started well. Within the first few pages, many had provided insightful responses and provided answers to the questions. After that, the thread had reached it’s useful life and should have died a natural death. However like most here , it instead become fight club.

Did not agree with your parting message for the men to just STFU when receiving personal attacks. Believe your approach offers only a band aid approach to the symptoms of this sometimes dis-functional forum (agree the wounds will not get any worse if following your advice), believe my solution attempts to prevent the wounds from being inflicted in the first place.

Respect your statement of not liking some of my posts or what was said in them, you have every right to do so. I can respond to issues or dislikes when I know what they are. I cannot respond to a hit and run.

Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks. :howyoudoin:

I actually like Asian Guys, but unfortunately I was scammed by one Taiwanese guy. He seems to be interested on me and we started talking online and then I visited Taiwan, after a year a talking back and forth he visited me. He stayed at my home during the whole time. I was able to see that he liked to chat to many different women in his language and he was very friendly, warm and lovely with them; however with me he was very dry and distant. He entertained me with the idea that with time he would feel something for me. But until he came back to Taiwan, he then said, I was not his type. It was funny, because he seems to be very lazy and not wanting to be active in any way, maybe it was for the time change or so. I just wondering if all Taiwanese guys are like him. He expressed couple times that Taiwanese guys are very selfish.

I’ve certainly met Taiwanese guys that are very selfish, and others very caring. I think if you can be open minded and not generalize about people, you can mind a good partner.

certainly…that was generalization…like any other races there are good guys also…i just need to find mine…:slight_smile:

Non-Asian woman here. What do I think about Asian guys? That’s quite the generalized question. I’m gonna narrow it down to “Taiwanese guys that I have known,” since we’re on the good ol’ Forumosa.

Disclaimer: All of this is purely hypothetical and ignoring my immensely happy LTR.

Appearance: Exactly like non-Asian men. That is, some of them are are beautiful as all get out. Some look just fine (which is perfectly acceptable in the romance department.) Some don’t attract me physically.

Personality: This is where it gets tough. The ability to talk about the deep stuff is everything. My Chinese is sh!t. If his English is sh!t, I don’t really know his personality and he doesn’t know mine. So no matter the appearance (see above), I’m not really going to be into him if we’re shouting at each other from two different metaphorical boats rather than deep-diving together in the same ocean of communication.

But of the Taiwanese men I’ve known whose English was adequate for more abstract communication, I’ve gotten the impression that they’re all a lot more driven than me when it comes to traditional modes of success. They’ve been go-getters. BAMFs. I’m much too low-key and artsy-fartsy to not irritate the sh!t out of someone like that. Or perhaps I should say ('cuz I’m a go-getter BAMF in my own way) is that what I’m willing to bust ass for in life seems like it would be garbage to them. And that’s fine. But get out of my bed, bro.

What’s a BAMF?

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Bad ass mother bleeper.

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Oh. I’m too soft to be one of those. I guess I’m a SALD; Soft Ass Lazy Dad.

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You’ll definitely deserve some street cred if you can make SALD a thing.

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