[quote=“bob”]oh… muqian ni xihuan wo de gushi ma (sorry tones kill me)[/quote]Ziji xiHUAN Jiu hao le*.
Bu Guo hao. ni Bu xiHUAN wo xie biEde*. wo zhi Yao chonGFu shiYong wo Yao xuExI de* DANZi. ni you YitiaO JianYi ma*?
[quote=“bob”]Ranhou ta ting dao fred smith tiao4 dao2 color=#FF0000[/color]. Hao kexi. Ta xiwang zhe shi kai wan xiao. Keshi Stanley xiang zhei qingkuang bu shi hao xiao. Ruguo ta jianglai meiyou qian ta hui zuo gen fred smith zuo chabu duo yiyang
(then he heard fred smith jumped out the window. That’s too bad. He hopes that was a joke. But stanley thought this situation is no joke. If he doesn’t make some money he might as well jump out the window like fred smith)[/quote]
My suggestion for this passage 
Ran2hou4 ta1 ting1 SHUO1 Fred Smith tiao4 lou2 le5. zhen1 can3. Ta1 xi1wang4 zhe4 zhi3 shi4 ge5 wan2 xiao4. Dan4shi4 Stanley ren4wei2 zhe4ge5 qing2kuang4 yi4 dian3 yie3 bu4 hao3 xiao4. Ru2guo3 ta1mei2you3 qian2 ta1 yie3 hui4 gen1 Fred Smith yi2yang4 qu4 tiao4 lou2.
[quote=“msleft”] My suggestion for this passage
Ran2hou4 ta1 ting1 SHUO1 Fred Smith tiao4 lou2 le5. zhen1 can3. Ta1 xi1wang4 zhe4 zhi3 shi4 ge5 wan2 xiao4. Dan4shi4 Stanley ren4wei2 zhe4ge5 qing2kuang4 yi4 dian3 yie3 bu4 hao3 xiao4. Ru2guo3 ta1mei2you3 qian2 ta1 yie3 hui4 gen1 Fred Smith yi2yang4 qu4 tiao4 lou2.[/quote]
wo xiHUAN. Xie Xie. yiJING Huan le. XianZai Stanley Yao KAI YI ge* yinGhanG ZhangHu…
wo Bu ZHIDao XianZai FaSHENG sheNme* Shi…
Stanely zou Jin yiNhanG. TA Gaosu* GuitaI xiaojie TA Yao KAI yiNhanG
ZhangHu. GuitaI xiaojie gei TA yI Fen SHENqingSHU. TA tiaNxie SHENqingSHU. TAmen* Wen TA Yao cuN DUOxiao qiaN. TA SHUO TA meIyou keyi cuN de* qiaN. TA zhi xiang lingqiaN. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO Bu keyi. suoyi TA SHUO TA huI JIA Mai TA DVD de* SHOUcanG. TA SHUO minGTIAN Jian. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO bye bye la*
[quote=“bob”] GuShi
(if anybody wants to do the tones that would of course be peachy,
otherwise I will come back and do them myself - groan. Grammatical corrections, plot suggestions etc. will also be appreciated though the plot suggestions will likely be ignored as per the dictates of my essentially autistic personality disorder etc.)
You yi tian jiu3gui de5 waiguo ren xin lai, turan liaojie ta zai shen dong. (suddenly the alcoholic foriegner woke up and realized he was in deep hole)
Ta you yi ge zhuyi. Zuijin zai [color=#FF0000]gu3shi4[/color] fred smith hai you biede war mongering gass guzzlers shun3shi1 hao3 duo1 qian2. Yexu waiguo ren (ta mingci shi Stanley) hui zhuan ta de qian. bu shi hao xiao ma.
Stanley xiang zhei hen hao xiao.
(He had an idea. Recently fred smith and a lot of other gas guzzling war mongers lost a lot of money on the stock market, maybe he (stanley) could make theirs. Isn’t that funny. Stanley though that was funny.)[/quote]
Hi Bob,
IMHO, I suggest that you complete the whole story in English first, and then translate it into Mandarin.
It will make the story more readable.
I cannot really understand the whole picture after reading these paragraphs.
I only know that Fred Smith killed himself beacuse he had lost a lot of money on the stock market.
Jia1you2
[quote=“msleft”] Hi Bob,
IMHO, I suggest that you complete the whole story in English first, and then translate it into Mandarin.
It will make the story more readable.
I cannot really understand the whole picture after reading these paragraphs.
I only know that Fred Smith killed himself beacuse he had lost a lot of money on the stock market.
Jia1you2[/quote]
Yup, the rule in this forum is that everything written in pinyin has to be translated into English, line by line. It’s a good rule but I wanted to see if I could actually “communicate” with people through pinyin only for awhile. I guess it is not going so well (though sjmca and I seem to do reasonably well). I’ll go back and translate it once I find the energy. Don’t think I’ll write the story in English first though because it’s just a stupid story I’m writing so I can recycle the vocabulary I need to learn. I don’t “want” to write it in English. By trying to do it in Chinese I will be forced to try to “think” about business, in Chinese. I’ll pick up vocab as needed here and there as I go. My Chinese will improve faster that way. It seems to be working in that the vocab I recycle I tend to remember. Anyway, that’s the idea. I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if the modes decided to flame the whole thing. If I could beg their indulgence for a few weeks though that would be great.
[quote=“bob”][quote=“msleft”] Hi Bob,
IMHO, I suggest that you complete the whole story in English first, and then translate it into Mandarin.
It will make the story more readable.
I cannot really understand the whole picture after reading these paragraphs.
I only know that Fred Smith killed himself beacuse he had lost a lot of money on the stock market.
Jia1you2[/quote]
Yup, the rule in this forum is that everything written in Pinyin has to be translated into English, line by line. It’s a good rule but I wanted to see if I could actually “communicate” with people through Pinyin only for awhile. I guess it is not going so well (though sjmca and I seem to do reasonably well). I’ll go back and translate it once I find the energy. Don’t think I’ll write the story in English first though because it’s just a stupid story I’m writing so I can recycle the vocabulary I need to learn. I don’t “want” to write it in English. By trying to do it in Chinese I will be forced to try to “think” about business, in Chinese. I’ll pick up vocab as needed here and there as I go. My Chinese will improve faster that way. It seems to be working in that the vocab I recycle I tend to remember. Anyway, that’s the idea. I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if the modes decided to flame the whole thing. If I could beg their indulgence for a few weeks though that would be great.[/quote]
wo3 lia3 jie3 le5. Jia1you2. duo1lian4shi2ni3de5zhong1wen2jiou4huei4jin4bu4.
(I see. Keep on the good job. Practice more and your chinese will improve. 
[quote=“msleft”][quote=“bob”][quote=“msleft”] Hi Bob,
IMHO, I suggest that you complete the whole story in English first, and then translate it into Mandarin.
It will make the story more readable.
I cannot really understand the whole picture after reading these paragraphs.
I only know that Fred Smith killed himself beacuse he had lost a lot of money on the stock market.
Jia1you2[/quote]
Yup, the rule in this forum is that everything written in Pinyin has to be translated into English, line by line. It’s a good rule but I wanted to see if I could actually “communicate” with people through Pinyin only for awhile. I guess it is not going so well (though sjmca and I seem to do reasonably well). I’ll go back and translate it once I find the energy. Don’t think I’ll write the story in English first though because it’s just a stupid story I’m writing so I can recycle the vocabulary I need to learn. I don’t “want” to write it in English. By trying to do it in Chinese I will be forced to try to “think” about business, in Chinese. I’ll pick up vocab as needed here and there as I go. My Chinese will improve faster that way. It seems to be working in that the vocab I recycle I tend to remember. Anyway, that’s the idea. I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if the modes decided to flame the whole thing. If I could beg their indulgence for a few weeks though that would be great.[/quote]
wo3 lia3 jie3 le5. Jia1you2. duo1lian4shi2ni3de5zhong1wen2jiou4huei4jin4bu4.
(I see. Keep on the good job. Practice more and your Chinese will improve. [/quote]
ni Nian wo qITA de* xieZuo la*
wo JIUZheng4 nin de* PinCuo, keyi ma*?
Liao3jie3 = understand
Lian4xi2 = practice
jiu4 = then
hui4 = will
[quote=“bob”] ni Nian wo qITA de* xieZuo la*
wo JIUZheng4 nin de* PinCuo, keyi ma*?
Liao3jie3 = understand
Lian4xi2 = practice
jiu4 = then
hui4 = will[/quote]
keyi
[quote=“bob”]Stanely zou Jin yiNhanG. TA Gaosu* GuitaI xiaojie TA Yao KAI yiNhanG
ZhangHu. GuitaI xiaojie gei TA yI Fen SHENqingSHU. TA tiaNxie SHENqingSHU. TAmen* Wen TA Yao cuN DUOxiao qiaN. TA SHUO TA meIyou keyi cuN de* qiaN. TA zhi xiang lingqiaN. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO Bu keyi. suoyi TA SHUO TA huI JIA Mai TA de* DVD SHOUjI. TA SHUO minGTIAN Jian. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO bye bye la*[/quote]
Hi bob,
ching3 wen4 yi2 shia4
she2me5shi4 “[color=#FF0000]JIA Mai[/color]” TA de* DVD “[color=#FF0000]SHOUjI[/color]”
[quote=“msleft”][quote=“bob”]Stanely zou Jin yiNhanG. TA Gaosu* GuitaI xiaojie TA Yao KAI yiNhanG
ZhangHu. GuitaI xiaojie gei TA yI Fen SHENqingSHU. TA tiaNxie SHENqingSHU. TAmen* Wen TA Yao cuN DUOxiao qiaN. TA SHUO TA meIyou keyi cuN de* qiaN. TA zhi xiang lingqiaN. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO Bu keyi. suoyi TA SHUO TA huI JIA Mai TA de* DVD SHOUjI. TA SHUO minGTIAN Jian. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO bye bye la*[/quote]
Hi bob,
ching3 wen4 yi2 shia4
she2me5shi4 “[color=#FF0000]JIA Mai[/color]” TA de* DVD “[color=#FF0000]SHOUjI[/color]”[/quote]Reading Pinyin can be a real pain. I got stuck on that for a brief moment too. It’s “hui2 jia1 (go home) mai4 (sell) ta1 de5 DVD shou1ji2 (collection)”.
[quote=“sjcma”][quote=“msleft”][quote=“bob”]Stanely zou Jin yiNhanG. TA Gaosu* GuitaI xiaojie TA Yao KAI yiNhanG
ZhangHu. GuitaI xiaojie gei TA yI Fen SHENqingSHU. TA tiaNxie SHENqingSHU. TAmen* Wen TA Yao cuN DUOxiao qiaN. TA SHUO TA meIyou keyi cuN de* qiaN. TA zhi xiang lingqiaN. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO Bu keyi. suoyi TA SHUO TA huI JIA Mai TA de* DVD SHOUjI. TA SHUO minGTIAN Jian. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO bye bye la*[/quote]
Hi bob,
ching3 wen4 yi2 shia4
she2me5shi4 “[color=#FF0000]JIA Mai[/color]” TA de* DVD “[color=#FF0000]SHOUjI[/color]”[/quote]Reading Pinyin can be a real pain. I got stuck on that for a brief moment too. It’s “hui2 jia1 (go home) mai4 (sell) ta1 de5 DVD shou1ji2 (collection)”.[/quote]
To sjcma
shie4 shie4 ni3 de5 shou1 ming2. Wo3 shian4 zai4 dong3 le5.
To bob,
wo3 men2 bu4 hui4 shou1 “DVD shou1ji2”, er2 shi4 shou1 “shou1cang2de5 DVD” or “DVD shou1cang2” bi2 ren2 bi3 jiao4 ting1 de5 dong3 o.
(we don’t say “DVD shou1ji2”. Instead, we say “shou1cang2de5 DVD” or “DVD shou1cang2.”
It’s more understandable.)
[quote=“sjcma”][quote=“msleft”][quote=“bob”]Stanely zou Jin yiNhanG. TA Gaosu* GuitaI xiaojie TA Yao KAI yiNhanG
ZhangHu. GuitaI xiaojie gei TA yI Fen SHENqingSHU. TA tiaNxie SHENqingSHU. TAmen* Wen TA Yao cuN DUOxiao qiaN. TA SHUO TA meIyou keyi cuN de* qiaN. TA zhi xiang lingqiaN. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO Bu keyi. suoyi TA SHUO TA huI JIA Mai TA de* DVD SHOUjI. TA SHUO minGTIAN Jian. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO bye bye la*[/quote]
Hi bob,
ching3 wen4 yi2 shia4
she2me5shi4 “[color=#FF0000]JIA Mai[/color]” TA de* DVD “[color=#FF0000]SHOUjI[/color]”[/quote]Reading Pinyin can be a real pain. I got stuck on that for a brief moment too. It’s “hui2 jia1 (go home) mai4 (sell) ta1 de5 DVD shou1ji2 (collection)”.[/quote]
sjmca: wo xiang msleft de muyu Shi ZHONGweN, YINWei TA de SHENGDiao waNquaN Dui, keShi TA de* PINfa you YIdian WentI.
msleft: nin ZHIdao women* Yong de* Banfa ma?
ma1 = MA
ma2 = mA
ma3 = ma
ma4 = Ma
ma* = ma*
keyi xiE “qing Wen yI Xia?” (can I ask a question?).
you YiXIE WaiguOreN juEde* bi Jiao ronGYi Jide*.
Xie xie.
to Detective bob 
ni CAI Dui le*
(good guess)
[quote=“bob”]
msleft: nin ZHIdao women* Yong de* Banfa ma?
ma1 = MA
ma2 = mA
ma3 = ma
ma4 = Ma
ma* = ma*
keyi xiE “qing Wen yI Xia?” (can I ask a question?).
you YiXIE WaiguOreN juEde* bi Jiao ronGYi Jide*.[/quote]
Xie Xie ni Gao Su wo
wo Xian Zai ZHI Dao le*
(Thank you for telling me. Now I know.)
Stanely zou Jin yiNhanG. TA Gao[color=#FF0000]S[/color]u* GuitaI xiaojie TA Yao KAI yiNhanG
ZhangHu. GuitaI xiaojie gei TA yI Fen SHENqingSHU. TA tiaNxie SHENqingSHU. TAmen* Wen TA Yao cuN DUOxiao qiaN. TA SHUO TA meIyou keyi cuN de* qiaN. TA zhi xiang lingqiaN. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO Bu keyi. suoyi TA SHUO TA huI JIA Mai TA de* SHOUcanG deDVD. TA SHUO minGTIAN Jian. GuitaI xiaojie SHUO bye bye la
raNHou Stanley huI[color=#FF0000]Q[/color]u TA JIA, da DianHua gei Baozhi, gaoSu TAmen* TA Yao [color=#FF0000]DENG[/color] YI ge* guanGao. guanGao YINGGAI SHUO wo Yao Mai hao DUO DVD. TA gei guanGao GONGSI TAde* DianHua Haoma, deng deng. TAmen* SHUO OK la*. raNHou TA Zai JIA deng hen [color=#FF0000]jiu[/color]. Mei reN da DianHua gei TA.
[color=#FF0000]–>[/color]Stanely zou Jin yiNhanG. TA Gao[color=#FF0000]Su[/color] GuitaI xiaojie TA Yao KAI yiNhanG ZhangHu.
[color=#FF0000]–>[/color]suoyi TA SHUO TA huI JIA Mai TA[color=#FF0000] SHOUcanG de*DVD[/color].
[color=#FF0000]–>[/color]raNHou Stanley [color=#FF0000]huIQu[/color] TA JIA, da DianHua gei Baozhi, gaoSu TAmen* TA Yao [color=#FF0000]DENG yI[/color] ge* guanGao.
[color=#FF0000]–>[/color]raNHou TA Zai JIA deng hen [color=#FF0000]jiu[/color].
Xie Xie ni. ni BANGZhu wo hao DUO.
Xie Xie ni. ni BANGZhu wo hao DUO.[/quote]
bU Ke Qi 