How far can addiction to/dependence on someone go?

I have always been wondering how far addiction to someone can go? Did you follow your bf/gf back to his/her country (or the other way round)? How did it turn up?
When I was in Japan, I saw so many foreigners moving there for their gf, but rarely women moving for their bf to Japan. While living there, I never thought about moving out of the country. For me, moving to someone’s country without knowing her so much was too risky and a blind move… well I became one of them. Addiction or dependence, I am not sure about which term to use. As for my case, it’s clearly not the “asian syndrome” (guys crazy about asian only), I was already living abroad and all my friends are in Japan, it would have been easier to date someone there, or a european. What about guys/girls coming here? Do they fall in love with the country or with the locals. Back in Japan, I met so many guys who just came for japanese (people), and they wouldn’t even speak to other non-asian as they want to feel like the only white in Japan… other foreigners are enemies… shit I once met a guy back in my country who started to speak to me in Japanese… but he was white like me… I got so surprised and asked him “why are you speaking to me in Japanese? I am swiss and we are in Switzerland?” His answer “I just wanted to know if you could read Japanese” was as weird as him. I don’t mind who I meet on the street, local or foreigner, as soon as I can communicate with them and enjoy a good talk, why should I start selecting girls from a certain race only!?
Anyway, I moved here because my gf and I, cannot live without each other, addiction and dependence. What about you?

if they are mr./mrs. right then you have to sacrifice something to be with them, right?
unconditional love.

[quote=“baberenglish”]if they are mr./mrs. right then you have to sacrifice something to be with them, right?
unconditional love.[/quote]

Or you might realize that despite the brain washing of your western upbringing and the movies that there is no such thing as a mr. /mrs right.

[quote=“djstout”]I have always been wondering how far addiction to someone can go? Did you follow your bf/gf back to his/her country (or the other way round)? How did it turn up?
When I was in Japan, I saw so many foreigners moving there for their gf, but rarely women moving for their bf to Japan. While living there, I never thought about moving out of the country. For me, moving to someone’s country without knowing her so much was too risky and a blind move… well I became one of them. Addiction or dependence, I am not sure about which term to use. As for my case, it’s clearly not the “Asian syndrome” (guys crazy about Asian only), I was already living abroad and all my friends are in Japan, it would have been easier to date someone there, or a european. What about guys/girls coming here? Do they fall in love with the country or with the locals. Back in Japan, I met so many guys who just came for japanese (people), and they wouldn’t even speak to other non-asian as they want to feel like the only white in Japan… other foreigners are enemies… shit I once met a guy back in my country who started to speak to me in Japanese… but he was white like me… I got so surprised and asked him “why are you speaking to me in Japanese? I am swiss and we are in Switzerland?” His answer “I just wanted to know if you could read Japanese” was as weird as him. I don’t mind who I meet on the street, local or foreigner, as soon as I can communicate with them and enjoy a good talk, why should I start selecting girls from a certain race only!?
Anyway, I moved here because my gf and I, cannot live without each other, addiction and dependence. What about you?[/quote]

It’s the best addiction on the planet.

Having said that, it’s not about ‘feelings’ it’s about choices. As long as you understand that, you’ll be fine.

And yeah, true love comes with a price tag. She’s giving up her life for you, so it’s only fair that you give up your life for her.

You up for that?

Is there a mister or a miss right!? I am not too sure about it, but I know that you can fall in love at first sight, which is what happened to me with my current gf, and that we strangely are so similar. It goes as far as having the same birthday!

You don’t fall in love. You fall in “Woo HOO!”

“Love at first sight” is about hormones and feelings. It’s “feelings at first sight”.

Love is a decision. Or, maybe I should say that true love is a decision.

You got a good point, probably hormones and feelings, still loved that feeling at first sight. She was deeply in my mind, and now it got better. The problem is that we cant live without each other, but we have to as her parents do not allow us to be together, well she is keep on telling lies and come to visit me all the time, but cannot stay for the night, only once in a while.

You don’t fall in love. You fall in “Woo HOO!”

“Love at first sight” is about hormones and feelings. It’s “feelings at first sight”.

Love is a decision. Or, maybe I should say that true love is a decision.[/quote]

It would be interesting to find out when love and first sight was first mentioned in literature or history books. That would able us to gauge how much the idea of love at first sight is due to Hollywood movies and pop music.

Tell THAT to my kid. :laughing: Or me, for that matter.
As for the poster who mentioned “unconditional love” for a partner or spouse, I totally disagree. Such love is EXTREMELY conditional in most cases, I’ve found.

An apple a day will keep the Dr. away.

I fall in love at first sight dozens of times a day !

Tell THAT to my kid. :laughing: Or me, for that matter.
As for the poster who mentioned “unconditional love” for a partner or spouse, I totally disagree. Such love is EXTREMELY conditional in most cases, I’ve found.[/quote]

Try loving a slob who sits on his ass all day playing world of warcraft, doesn’t go to work, doesn’t do housework, doesn’t contribute to anything whilst
you: have to get up everyday to go to work, pay ALL bills, come home, cook dinner, clean up, do housework and you’re not allowed to complain.

AND I actually moved cities for him (dumb move)…

I never had dependancy issues until I dated a girl in Taiwan - damn, did I lose the plot with her. Seriously addicted - needed the sms’s, calls, face time, reassurance that she loved me.

It had never happened before.

I think it’s still an issue with me to some degree, and I have to guard against it.

Stop staring at your pubes in the mirror is my advice, tommy.

Stop staring at your pubes in the mirror is my advice, tommy.[/quote]

Is that why scotsmen wear kilts?? OKOK that was low !! haha.

Its never a problem staring at yourself unless ur tits are bigger then your girlfriends?

But seriousLY??? Spend 30 mins at rush hour at ChongShiao/TunHwa and dont tell me you dont fall in love every few mins (at most) !!

P.S. being addicted to someone is very bad, its like giving her your heart to stab at her pleasure.

This is kind of true actually… but not in the way

Tell THAT to my kid. :laughing: Or me, for that matter.
As for the poster who mentioned “unconditional love” for a partner or spouse, I totally disagree. Such love is EXTREMELY conditional in most cases, I’ve found.[/quote]

Try loving a slob who sits on his ass all day playing world of warcraft, doesn’t go to work, doesn’t do housework, doesn’t contribute to anything whilst
you: have to get up everyday to go to work, pay ALL bills, come home, cook dinner, clean up, do housework and you’re not allowed to complain.

AND I actually moved cities for him (dumb move)…[/quote]

This topic is getting more fun minutes after minutes :roflmao: You are all making my day! And actually I agree with this one

Well, the extreme occasionally involves stalking or even murder. I’d google up a few examples, but your day will be more pleasant if I refrain.

[quote=“Baas Babelaas”]I never had dependancy issues until I dated a girl in Taiwan - damn, did I lose the plot with her. Seriously addicted - needed the sms’s, calls, face time, reassurance that she loved me.

It had never happened before.

I think it’s still an issue with me to some degree, and I have to guard against it.[/quote]

Well I am having this problem right now, I do need sms, calls and all those things everyday, more than a few, and she needs the same… We can’t live without each other, but we have to as her parents hates me very deeply. She is not allow to meet me, but she does.

[quote=“djstout”][quote=“Baas Babelaas”]I never had dependancy issues until I dated a girl in Taiwan - damn, did I lose the plot with her. Seriously addicted - needed the sms’s, calls, face time, reassurance that she loved me.

It had never happened before.

I think it’s still an issue with me to some degree, and I have to guard against it.[/quote]

Well I am having this problem right now, I do need sms, calls and all those things everyday, more than a few, and she needs the same… We can’t live without each other, but we have to as her parents hates me very deeply. She is not allow to meet me, but she does.[/quote]

It seems that her parents need to grow up! Time for them to stop treating their little girl like a baby.