Which reminds me of the story of the broken printer with a note left on it saying “penis stuck inside” or words to that effect.
Edit: Here’s the fella…
[quote=“irishstu”]
[/quote]
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
So, weighing in here . . . if you haven’t had any in a long long while, and now there’s someone interesting in your life . . . and there’s also a mutual physical attraction . . . but you’re trying to take things slow (to make sure you’re not rushing into something you’re gonna wanna get out of in a hurry) . . . that’s a recipe for OBSESSIVE preoccupation with WHEN is it going to happen!!!
Personally, I find that I think about this around 90-95% of my waking hours. It’s really f*cking distracting, and the same time thrilling . . . and if it doesn’t happen soon, do you all think a person could blow a gasket or something? :help:
Bodo
Or something.
Did you hear the one about the penguin eating the ice cream cone?
No? See MaPoSquid’s post at [The Jokes Thread - #16 by MaPoSquid
Or something.
Did you hear the one about the penguin eating the ice cream cone?
No? See MaPoSquid’s post at [The Jokes Thread - #16 by MaPoSquid
very very funny 
:bravo:
Bodo
[quote=“Mother Theresa”][quote=“almas john”]For me sex is not as important as drinking.
Mother T, why are talking about sex? You’re a married man now. 
[/quote]
Duh, why do you think it’s on my mind? :homer: Like a vegetarian dreaming of barbecued ribs.[/quote]
I don’t understand this. Why do some people stop having sex after marriage? I’ve talked to several married and divorced men over the years who’ve lamented the lack of sex in their marriages and/or previous marriages. Invariably they said the sex was great before marriage, but soon slowed to a trickle afterwards. Why does this happen? I’ve been married for almost four years, and the sex has never been better. It seems like it’s the women who lose interest in sex more so than the men. I know that’s a generalization, but I can’t say I’ve heard any women complain their husbands aren’t interested in sex (I have heard a couple of women complain their husbands are too interested in sex). The opposite is a common complaint of married men. I’m completely guessing here, but do y’all think any of these reasons explain it?
-
The wife was never really that interested in sex, and now that she’s married she no longer has to “put on a show”.
-
The wife was initially interested in sex, but it’s gotten boring over the years so she doesn’t want to have it anymore.
I’d list up children and the other stresses of married life, but men share those pressures and yet still want to have sex. Or is there a physiological reason? Does having children typically decrease women’s sex drive? I’ve never heard anyone claim that but then who knows…
GBH asks some good questions - none of which I have any answers for. I DO think that the pressures of family life can put a damper on the sex life. Parents get tired, and stressed caring for children, AND caring for children takes a lot of time (it seems to me). My GUESS is prior to marriage, guys take more time lubing the woman up with invitations to interesting events (dates), and lot’s of attention, and foreplay perhaps. After marriage- DO too tired, stressed, overworked guys do the same sorts of things they did prior to marriage to get their woman tuned in and turned on? Dunno . . . guys . . . back to you . . .
Bodo
Stuff that affects libido (sex drive):
[quote][url=http://www.sexualhealth.com/question.php?Action=read&question_id=994]Low sex drive can be caused by a range of factors, which vary from one individual to the next. Fatigue, the daily responsibilities and multiple roles women often assume, relationship issues, and many possible psychological causes can impact a woman’s sex drive. In addition, certain health conditions and medications can affect a woman’s sexual desire. An [b]imbalance or low levels in your
[quote=“Bodo”]
Personally, I find that I think about this around 90-95% of my waking hours.
Bodo[/quote]
Talk about the ultimate girl next door 
[quote=“gao_bo_han”][quote=“Bodo”]
Personally, I find that I think about this around 90-95% of my waking hours.
Bodo[/quote]
Talk about the ultimate girl next door [/quote]
Well . . . it HAS been some time since . . . 
Bodo
If it were even slightly important to my happiness, I’d be the most depressed human being you would have ever come across.
:stinkyface:
Soeaking of people who prefer beer to sex…
My girlfriend told me to stop spending money on beer, because we couldn’t afford it.
A week later, I caught her spending 1000 NT on makeup.
I asked her, “How come you can still spend money on makeup but I can’t spend it on beer?”
She replied, “I need to wear makeup so that I look pretty for you”.
“But that’s what the beer was for”, I said.
I don’t think she’s coming back.
In my experience Sex is not usually the determining factor in which a relationship ends. Its usually something else; getting lazy, taking eachother for granted, money, one person is married, etc etc. But I find that sex can be something that can really add to a relationship if used in the right… proportions.
Absolutely. The old “the person is already married to another person” problem can really throw a wrench into the works of a loving relationship!
[quote=“mod lang”]Soeaking of people who prefer beer to sex…
My girlfriend told me to stop spending money on beer, because we couldn’t afford it.
A week later, I caught her spending 1000 NT on makeup.
I asked her, “How come you can still spend money on makeup but I can’t spend it on beer?”
She replied, “I need to wear makeup so that I look pretty for you”.
“But that’s what the beer was for”, I said.
I don’t think she’s coming back.[/quote]
That is old, and cold, but worth it.
:bravo: 
:bravo:
Absolutely. The old “the person is already married to another person” problem can really throw a wrench into the works of a loving relationship! [/quote]
No kidding. Never doing that one again.
If it were even slightly important to my happiness, I’d be the most depressed human being you would have ever come across.
:stinkyface:[/quote]
Well I’m the village idiot then :tic:
I once took this herb called saw palmetto for my prostate which was giving me trouble, a hellish time in my life. However, as a consequence I lost all sexual desire (for the time I was taking it). Initially, I didn’t notice and even when I noticed I didn’t notice because I didn’t have the desire. And I can say in all honesty I didn’t feel any more happy or any less happy. If you don’t have the desire what’s there to get excited about.
As a consequence of taking the saw palmetto my hair also stopped falling out so even though I was a lot more studly I still didn’t have that insane drive to contend with. Sex doesn’t make you happy. It probably helps with your health the same way that a few glasses of red do. It’s a good, but it ain’t the good news.
Why it it that almost all treatments for hairloss invariably entail the extinguishing of desire. It’s a truly hideous bind and highly suggestive of a greater power enjoying a big joke on humanity. You can sever your testicles to prevent hairloss, but then you look good and have no desire. What a bastard!
HG
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]Why it it that almost all treatments for hairloss invariably entail the extinguishing of desire. It’s a truly hideous bind and highly suggestive of a greater power enjoying a big joke on humanity. You can sever your testicles to prevent hairloss, but then you look good and have no desire. What a bastard!
HG[/quote]
Which reminds me of that line by Dana Carvey in the thread about the 100 least sexy men. “Bill Gates made a deal with the devil. He could choose to become the richest man in the world, but in exchange he would have to go through life looking like a turtle.”