Interesting that she’s the jealous type - fits my belief that people always accuse others of stuff they’d be doing if it were them. 
On one hand I agree. But on the other I am a little jealous and I am NOT the cheating type.
Some girls just get cheated on so many times that they become nuts. 
But I completely disagree about the bit about a foreign girl doing this being typical. maybe it is because I am a southerner (and thus a touch frigid) but I don’t think any of my girls at home would treat any man they gave two cents about like this. You act a skank when you are single. When you have a man you act in such a way to respect him.
I was not thinking of marriage any time soon. She was pushing it a little as a way of me staying in the country…well, she may have other reasons also, but that is not an option for me. It is not smart to have a phony marriage to someone you are dating.
Jelousy equals cheater maybe not in this case. I think it is just someone dealing with being in a vulnerable position. I do think it is a matter of respect for each other and assuring each other you are considerate of their feelings. I have never cheated on any girlfriends, but all of my girlfriends have been suspicious of friends. Especially here in Taiwan. for some reason I don’t have too many TW guy friends; mostly foreigners.
Just an update: I came home around 11pm and my GF was waiting for me outside. I told her we would talk, but she had yet to hear from me. She gave me a not telling me how muoch she cared and we went inside to talk. Sorry and a note is a nice gesture, but actions speak a lot louder and it is all about respect. She told me I should tell the things I don’t like. Well - that is lame. I just said if you picture me doing the same thing and you don’t like it then there is your answer. This stuff is not complicated, but I think she was just trying to get rid of the responsibilty. She did say what she did was wrong and I didn’t really get a good reason why she did it.
I did learn one thing from Boyz in the Hood - don’t respect anyone that doesn’t respect you.
The one comment about foreign girls being different struck me as odd. I am from California and this situation would be just as dumb there.
Well, like most people, I am always staying in relationships way past the due date. Putting up with more and more BS until it comes to a horrid end. I would like to think I am getting better at judging how much BS I would stand for, but again I need to make a decision. Or do I? Like I said I am being deported just for doing a demo. Maybe a blessing in disguise.
she’s crazy and you’re a pussy for putting up with that shit.
get a pair and bail.
[quote=“The Grateful Dead in Dupree’s Diamond Blues”]
When I was just a little young boy,
Papa said “Son, you’ll never get far,
I’ll tell you the reason if you want to know,
'cause child of mine, there isn’t really very far to go”
Well baby, baby wants a gold diamond ring
Wants it more than most any old thing
Well when I get those jelly roll blues
Why I’d go and get anything in this world for you.[/quote]
[quote=“tofuren”]Being deported really can mess that up. But I knew I couldn’t stay here forever.
At this point I will just have to deal with my being deported and the relationship after that - if there is one.[/quote]
[quote=“The Grateful Dead in Dupree’s Diamond Blues”]
Well baby, baby’s gonna lose her sweet man
tofuren come out with a losing hand
Baby’s gonna weep it up for awhile
then go on out and find another sweet man’s
gonna treat her with style[/quote]
[quote=“Tigerman”][quote=“The Grateful Dead in Dupree’s Diamond Blues”]
Well baby, baby’s gonna lose her sweet man
tofuren come out with a losing hand
Baby’s gonna weep it up for awhile
then go on out and find another sweet man’s
gonna treat her with style[/quote][/quote]
Well put and very true. Maybe she’s already put some lines back in the pond, just to see which fish are biting. Just in case…
Quoting grateful dead but subsituting a name, that was really clever. That showed a lot of insight. I know you could have wrote something of your own, but why bother when The Grateful dead has already said it all.
shifty “she’s crazy and you’re a pussy for putting up with that shit.
get a pair a bail.”
I think I have seen shifty numerous times in the past.
For instance:“If I see a good looking girl and she lights up, I’m not interested. I stay clear of smokers.” shifty “she’s crazy and you’re a pussy for putting up with that shit. get a pair a bail.”
I do enjoy forumosa - thanks
Well, all relationships have their rough edges. You have to take the crounchy with the smooth. You stay with the ones who are willing to work on the “crunchy”
What’s “pair of bail”?
I don’t understand this fascination with the Grateful Dead. Maybe it’s just the T-shirts.
Brother, I think the folks here are seeing the inevitable in this situation, you stay together, talk about your feelings, she understands, she does it again, you feel like shit…again.
You are right. No one knows what will happen, and I don’t think anyone here wants you two to break up, nor do they want you to stay together. It’s your choice.
You have decided apparently that it is worth it to try and salvage the relationship, or continue it, whichever way you want to say it; that’s fine by me and with everyone else here I would say.
But, you did ask what we would do…and the resounding answer has been, get rid of her. Personally I would have broken up on the way home. I do know how that feels and I for one do not like the feeling at all. Hurt me on purpose or by accident; you still hurt me, and the primary cause was selfishness and lack of respect. Who needs that? Bye.
Good luck.
Check out the Grateful Dead Thread and you’ll understand more. 
A fun read for us, but not so fun if you’re living the results, I think.
Anyway. Sounds like you guys need to talk about this. Make it explicitly clear what you expect from a relationship. If the conduct AND penalties aren’t clearly defined, you’re going to be making dumb “Is this okay?” posts on internet forums until you’re old, gray and depressed as all f’n hell. Don’t tolerate things she wouldn’t tolerate from you. If she would flip if you started grinding on some meat, you should flip if she does the same. Flip and then dump her.
“Control your ho.”
Cuz she’s doing the same thing to you.
What’s up with this generalization of Western women as sluts grinding into the nearest crotch with Taiwanese women being absolutely sweet and innocent? There is no racial boundaries on this one. If a girl is in a relationship with someone and she’s grinding on another man while out with her own and then looks at him while doing it, then it don’t matter where ever her ancestors came from; she is a flat out skootchy (skanky hootchie) and I’d be dropping her ass like a used tissue.
Tofuren, let’s face it. She’s not interested in a mature relationship with you. If you’re into sharing your woman, then by all means…it’s your funeral. If you’re not, take my advice from above. She’s not going to get any better and copying her behavior is not the way to develop a healthy relationship.
Three words: Drop. Her. Ass.
It’s not like she’s the last woman on Earth.
Agree with above. This sort of behaviour would elicit anger, and then disappointment in me. Do you really want to be with someone who plays games like this? And if this doesn’t work what’s she going to do? Shag a rugby team to try and make you jealous? Then it’s slashing the wrists to make you feel guilty and telling the cops you raped her just to get your attention. Classic Psycho Xiaojie progression. Run away. Change your phone number. Take a week in Thailand. 
Acutally that type of behavior is not uncommon for Taiwanese women.
Also, cheating in Taiwan is generally not regarded as too huge of a problem if it’s only once and a while.
Could be that she was trying to turn you on. Get one guy worked up and go home with you.
[quote=“tofuren”]
Just an update: I came home around 11pm and my GF was waiting for me outside. [/quote]
Oh how cute–so she’s a stalker too.
I agree with Imaniou–no woman with even the tiniest amount of class would act this way around a boyfriend, Taiwanese or not.
[quote]Also, cheating in Taiwan is generally not regarded as too huge of a problem if it’s only once and a while.
[/quote]
How many of you think that this is true?
If it is… it does not make Taiwanese women look that good…
You came here asking for advice. Now you are commenting on where it comes from? Suit yourself… But, as the Grateful Dead used to sing:
[quote=“The Grateful Dead in Scarlet Begonias”]Once in a while you can get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right…[/quote]
You want it in my own words? OK, I think its stupid to stay with that girl. How the fuck can she not understand that what she did was wrong? Is she an idiot?
I would never hesitate to protect my girl, even if that meant fighting for her. But… she had better not be the one who causes the need for me to have to protect her, and in the process possibly get us both hurt badly. That’s just bullshit.
But, if you don’t mind, I don’t mind. Its your girl we’re talking about here. My girl never pulled any of that shit.
Don’t worry. Most people don’t get it.
Its not just the shirts. But, they are far out, eh?
[quote=“j99l88e77”]Acutally that type of behavior is not uncommon for Taiwanese women.
Also, cheating in Taiwan is generally not regarded as too huge of a problem if it’s only once and a while.
Could be that she was trying to turn you on. Get one guy worked up and go home with you.[/quote]
Not quite sure about this. Never had a Taiwanese gf that did this to me. If anything they usually get upset if I talk to a girl, even one she knows to be a friend (doubly so if they’re not with you).
But then again, maybe the ladies down south are just different…
[quote=“Tigerman”]You came here asking for advice. Now you are commenting on where it comes from? Suit yourself… But, as the Grateful Dead used to sing:
[quote=“The Grateful Dead in Scarlet Begonias”]Once in a while you can get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right…[/quote][/quote]
Hey-chill.
I have gotten some good feedback - so thanks to all. When I first posted I was not looking really for advice, but just to share some experiences with others, see some opinions and even just to vent a little. I know some name calling is expected from just a few people out there. That goes with the territory. The comments about the quoting was just for humor value.
I have nothing against the Grateful Dead. I am from San Francisco and have been to many shows. I don’t think you should take other people’s art and use it the way you see fit. Its like the person who has no sense of humor of his own and just quotes movies lines. It gets old.
[quote=“Tigerman”]You came here asking for advice. Now you are commenting on where it comes from? Suit yourself… But, as the Grateful Dead used to sing:
[quote=“The Grateful Dead in Scarlet Begonias”]Once in a while you can get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right…[/quote][/quote]
I’m cool. Just responding to your comments.
The title of this thread is a question. Not surprizing that many of us believed that you were seeking advice.
Cool.
Huh? So, we should never quote any piece of literature, no matter how perfectly appropriate it may be to a particular situation? I don’t think so.
Oh. Whatever… 