[quote=“Raven”]One of the things I like to do before coming to a country with an entirely different culture from my own, is learn some of the etiquette and rules.
It’s quite weird when people give you the middle finger, until you find out from someone that it’s the equivalent to a thumbs up. And that the thumbs up that I’ve been giving is equivalent to the middle finger.
That’s just an example. A few things that I know are that outdoor shoes are not to be worn indoors, so I have to bring clean sandals for inside. And that haggling is common place in markets.
What are some of the other things that I should know before I get there? I’m looking for a broad range of things. (another example, in Canada it is custom to tip the waiter/waitress about 15% of the meal bill at the restaurant)
Thanks everyone.[/quote]
One thing that I’ve found that really helps is that if you’re having communication problems with the local people, sometimes you’ll have to be a little more aggressive with them. Don’t be afraid of raising your voice or screaming or using threatening body language. For instance, if a little kid calls you a meiguoren, be sure to complain loudly in English about how everyone in Taiwan is a hick. If you see a car parked in a place where it shouldn’t be parked, you can express your dissatisfaction by ripping off his side mirror. If a policeman stops you for something and asks to see your ID, the best way to handle it is to rip the ID out of his hand and try to run away. If you feel that a worker is being treated unfairly, you should have a drink or two and then try to bust into a police station with your camcorder.
And the proper way to greet someone is to offer them your foot, rather than your hand. The Taiwanese people shake feet, not hands. It is truly a strange sight at first, but, its not at all uncommon to see Taiwanese people doing their best to extend their feet to their friends/business partners first… i.e., before the other person extends his/her foot. It can look like they are playing with an invisible soccer (foot) ball!
If you should happen to notice Taiwanese using a knife and fork (in a steakhouse for example), be sure to closely inspect their technique. If they manage to use them properly, fuss a lot and loudly congratulate them on mastering the eating utensils.
Should they happen to drop a pea off their fork, tut loudly and demand that the wait staff immediately supply them with chopsticks so that they might be more comfortable eating their meal.
Thae Taiwanese are somewhat similar to the French, they really love and appreciate sarcasm.
Be sure to roll your eyes and shrug a lot when speaking to them.
Taiwan people love to dance. Sometimes they will just gather at snack shops and dance, dance dance.
Taiwanese people rarely wear underwear. Its very hot here and the fresh air circulation is appreciated.
Chewing binlang is an important part of the islands religious history. The roads are full of small shrines where binlang goddess are surrounded by neon lights. People stop there, worship the binlang goddesses and make a donation.
All Taiwan politicians consider throwing food as part of their public responsibility.
Nobody speaks english here. Everybody speaks english here.
I think some of you are giving silly answers. If so I might split them off into a new thread, might be funny. If someone could tell me which posts are not sensible, I would be grateful.
I do not wish to alarm you, and of course I have the greatest respect for my fellow posters. Nevertheless, I have reason to believe that [color=red]some of the advice you have received so far may be wrong! [/color]
Specifically, the posts from alidarbac, Tigerman, Comrade Stalin, monkey, and TainanCowboy each contain statements of questionable veracity and advisability. So far, I have confirmed that:
b shaking feet rather than shaking hands[/b] is, indeed, considered more polite (but since it is generally reserved for more formal occasions I had not heard of it until today); and
b ripping your ID out of a police officer’s hand and running away[/b] is generally thought to be the best course of action (this was posted by two of my esteemed colleagues, so I was not surprised to find that it was true – but it should be noted that the response should be reserved for situations in which you are in a hurry to get someplace)
As for some of the other questionable pieces of advice, I am still checking them out. Will update as more results come in…
[quote=“Big Fluffy Matthew”]I think some of you are giving silly answers. If so I might split them off into a new thread, might be funny. If someone could tell me which posts are not sensible, I would be grateful.[/quote]All mine are true…I am skeptical of Mr. Hobbes.
When buying condoms, buy no less than four packets.
Feel free to tell the 7-11 girl you have many girlfriends.
(wo you hen duo nu pengyou (Maybe))
Foreigners traditionally choose ugly Chinese girlfriends.
If you need to practice Chinese on the MRT, find someone who is reading a book and start a conversation using the phrase, “Where are you come from?” (Ni cong nali lai?). Taiwanese people are very friendly so they won’t mind.
Staring is acceptable. Taiwanese people are very friendly so it won’t bother them and they probably won’t even notice it.
No Smoking signs are for other people.
The official mode of transport is the scooter.
Chinese has no word for ‘fluffy’.
Don’t tell your girlfriend you think Lin Zher Lin (spelling?) is hot.
For example, don’t use the phrase, “Mmm look at her legs. Why are your legs so short? My next girlfriend better be tall.”
If anyone ever approaches you and starts speaking English, make sure that you are so baffled, and spend so much time trying to figure out how or why they know your language, that he has little time to actually get to the point.
Censor all of your porn.
Piss in the most public of places (perhaps on the tire of a Taxi waiting outside of Taipei Main Station), this behavior is not only acceptable, it is a requirement of being taiwanese.
Make sure you bump into everyone you can. When you are born in Taiwan, or when you pass through the arrival gate at CKS airport, they implant a chip in your neck that works as a point tallying system. Everytime you bump into someone, you get an allocated amount of points…the chart is as follows: Small Children : Ten Points Old women: 15 points Business-person in an extreme rush: 75 points Fat, old, Taiwanese man chewing a beetle-nut: 85 points Fellow Wai-guo ren: 100 points
There are certain multipliers in affect, as well. For instance, actually knocking the person over: x2
or knocking the person over while he/she is peeing in the most public of places" x50
Then, on the 15th of every month, they tally up the points and announce on all the major news stations who is the winner…and he/she gets catupulted to GuangZhou, only after having a Christmas Ham stapled to their forehead. It’s really a large and fun public spectacle…which, for whatever reason, has been left out of the new Lonely Planet guide.
burp, hoark, and pick your nose in public whenever the opportunity presents itself. you will be highly respected if you do this while speaking taiwanese at the top of your lungs outside another foreigner’s window any time after midnight.
so as not to impede your progress here in taiwan, make a conscious effort to litter. the taiwanese love trash filled streets as it attracts the loveable cockroach, which also happens to be Taiwan’s national bird.
if time permits, buy a cute dog (but only from a night market), and then release it onto the street when you don’t find it cute anymore, so it can breed and shit on the sidewalks. contributing to the stray animal population is a surefire way to climb the social ladder. works best with cats.
There’s no religion here, except for the cults that gather around garbage trucks when the tune of “Fur Elise” lures them out of their lairs. You may be tempted to investigate, but don’t give in to the curiosity; just let your garbage pile up in a corner of your flat and then move out to another. Landlords appreciate the practice because it allows them to advertise the place as “fully furnished” to the next renter.
generally speaking taiwanese men are not very good looking, short both in stature and ahem in other departments, are hopeless mommy’s boys and have been born and raised on an island that has no recognition from the rest of the universe… for this reason they almost all have massive inferiority complexes, and ego deficiency issues which they compensate for by being crass, rude, obnoxious and arrogant…
don’t be fooled by this little ruse… in reality they’d like nothing more that to have their extremely fragile ego’s re-affirmed… for this reason, if you see a taiwanese guy with his girlfriend/wife, be sure to stare luridly at his lady, looking her up and down, perhaps even licking your lips and grunting under your breath or some such like gesture to demonstrate your barely disguised lust for his girlfriend/wife… Taiwanese guys take this sort of behaviour from foreigners as the greatest possible compliment and does wonders for bolstering their fragile ego’s… in particular the worst cases of this inferiority complex in taiwanese men (easily identified by their gold chains, short cropped hair and abundance of tattoos) in particular like nothing more than having their lady friends ogled by foreign men… if you really want to make their day, you could try chatting her up, or even pinching her arse…
[quote=“axiom”]Make sure you bump into everyone you can. When you are born in Taiwan, or when you pass through the arrival gate at CKS airport, they implant a chip in your neck that works as a point tallying system. Everytime you bump into someone, you get an allocated amount of points…the chart is as follows:
Small Children : Ten Points
Old women: 15 points
Business-person in an extreme rush: 75 points
Fat, old, Taiwanese man chewing a beetle-nut: 85 points
Fellow Wai-guo ren: 100 points
There are certain multipliers in affect, as well. For instance,
actually knocking the person over: x2
or
knocking the person over while he/she is peeing in the most public of places" x50[/quote]
Why only 10 points for a brat? That’s not fair, I tripped one up yesterday and it required considerable skill for no one to notice it was a deliberate act. Actually, that’s 20 points cos it fell flat on it’s face.
I think my chip’s malfunctioned as I never seem to crash into fellow waiguoren and I appear to be able to select victims at will. Anybody else with the same problem? Maybe this is one for the technology forum.
[quote=“bushibanned”] the Taiwanese love trash filled streets as it attracts the loveable cockroach, which also happens to be Taiwan’s national bird. [/quote]snigger
AH HA! I knew that huge pile in the corner of the living room wasn’t a beanbag chair! We just threw a cloth covering over it when we moved in two years ago, and have been trying to ignore the smell ever since.
Pheromones are extremely important as a way to advertise your social status and attract the opposite sex. Be sure to fart often, and don’t be shy about it. You could also avoid brushing your teeth very often and then standing very close to people in queues etc. so people can tell what rich and expensive food you had the day before yesterday. They’ll be sooo impressed! Smoking is a great way to mark your turf. Two packs a day should do it, and don’t worry about the no-smoking signs, they’re all fakes.
If you have a scooter you can fill the oil tank with perfumed two-stroke and let everyone know what a cool and hip person you are. Taking the muffler off will take the message to those too far away to smell your smoke. If you have a car be sure to drive around with your arm hanging out the open window as if it had no bones, all the really cool and successful Taiwanese do that. Just remember not to blow your image by doing something stupid and dorky like stopping at a red light or parking inside a painted box. Those are just for suckers and n00bs.
Last but not least, you have to get the right footwear. Anyone who anyone in Taiwan wears the ultimate statement in fashion footwear, the blue plastic slipper. Remember, the older and more ragged they are, the higher on the social ladder you’ll be estimated to be.
Walk slowly down the street causing a queue of other pedestrians to form behind you.
Weave from side to side blocking any attempts to pass you. (Allowing someone to overtake shows disrespect to the other party, and brings great shame upon your ancestors and future decedents.)
Periodically stop suddenly, and look disdainfully upon the people behind you when they bump into you.
[/img]