How responsible are the parents?

I’m sitting here next to a row with a toddler who won’t stop crying and screaming for 6 hours straight now on the plane. I don’t have kids and don’t know anything about them. People are now getting pissed. It’s really bad.

How responsible are the parents and is it the result of bad parenting? I think the child is at least 2-3. It’s not a infant that just cries and nothing you can do.

Here is what I noticed since I can’t sleep even with my noise canceling headphones being in the next row across. It’s hard to block it out for hours. The kid is clearly overweight. The parents give her a lot of candy to try to clam her down when she acts up. I’m guessing this is the wrong strategy?

The parents constantly try to use technology to distract the kid. And is quick to try to soothe the kid every single time she cries and acts up screaming. Is this the right thing to do?

I imagine this starts at home? I get why parents want to calm the kid down on the plane quickly. But always giving in to the kids every tantrum seems like the wrong strategy to me. What do you parents out there think?

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Not a parent, but I have an aunt that is relatively close to me in age and more like a sister than an aunt.

In a plane or enclosed space, even if you dont often give in normally, you make an exception to keep the peace.

Planes can scare children. They often scare adults as well and children might just simply default to crying because that’s what they know.

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I get this. But isn’t the fact a toddler won’t stop screaming and crying for 6-7 hours straight a symptom of something deeply wrong with the parenting. I get toddlers act out, but this is extreme. How much does parenting play in this or is there just nothing they can do? It’s just the kid?

It could be their first time. For both the child and the parent travelling with children. If there is only one child, then they might be the firstborn and bringing a child onto a plane is a completely different beast than travelling alone.

Is it? Surely the child didn’t just start acting this way on the plane? Idk, I’m not sure about why being on the plane would make a toddler act out for so long non stop.

Bad planning…kids need move, should get them tired and fly during sleep time.

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Like with many things in life. There is no instruction manual and we’re all just bumbling our way forwards.

That’s why the ‘good’ parents are the ones on their second or third child. They know what to expect with experience.

I, an autistic person, presented extra challenges not dissimilar to this. You’re never fully prepared for the unpredictability of a child.

Truly good parenting is retrospective, not a snapshot IMO. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. At least in a restaurant you can remove yourself.

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The kid did finally nap for about an hour after 3 hours in. After waking up; she’s back at it again.

I fly often; been flying since I was a kid regularly. I’m used to kids and infants. They cry and act out, I get it. I’m very understanding of it and just throw on my headphones. But this has been particularly bad for me to even care. I’ve never seen anything like it. Idk if it’s just the way the kid is or is this the result of bad parenting causing this kind of behavior.

So you think it’s just the way the kid is?

As a parent I can’t discipline a toddler to not act like this? Idk if I want to have kids if this is how it is.

Sometimes just a one off thing. The next flight is better as it’s more familiar. You mentioned they look like they are 2 or 3. Babies forget everything but toddlers are becoming truly aware of their surroundings for the first time.

I just mean if a kid wakes up after 10h night and jump straight into a plane, you have a ball of energy that is stuck in a small seat. I don’t know about other peoples kids, but if he was like mine, I’ll know what to expect.

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If you get an extremely difficult kid, maybe with some spectrum, I think you cannot as other parents with not difficult kids can.

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The flight attendants can offer the parents some activities for the child. I’ve experienced a similar situation and I asked the flight attendant to food the family some biscuits and activities for the child. That helped them calm down. I think sympathy is in order. Both from the parents and flight crew

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Are they actively trying to placate her or have they given up, too? Sometimes there’s only so much you can do.

They’re trying. What ends up happening is they might be able to get her into something for a few min and she then goes crazy again for no reason that I can tell once she gets bored.

It’s hard to judge the situation. Sometimes ear popping, dry air is enough to set someone off.

Are you on a plane right now?

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I don’t think they’re giving out snacks during COVID. They only have water when I asked.

ear ache she need something to eat like lollipops.

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Yes.

The kid is overweight. The reason I mention that is that my theory is that they baby her too much and give her all the food she wants. Idk if that is true, but the kid is definitely overweight. I assume that’s is on the parent somehow as the kid doesn’t buy her own food and make it.

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