At our school we not only teach English but also try to teach manners as well. However, being here so long… I’m really not sure of the rules anymore.
I used to call me teacher Mr. Jones. My dad, Dad. God help any of my friends who called my Dad by his first name. (He had a hang up about that). Some of my professors got upset if I did not use “Doctor” when addressing them.
On the TV show, Sesame Street, older people in the neighborhood are addressed by their first names.
Now hopefully you can tell me what you think is proper for the following situations. As my family is 1/2 Taiwanese now, I’d love to know what is proper from both the Chinese and English point of view.
How should you be addressed?
In your informal classes in a Bushiban or with a private student
If you were a full time classroom teacher K-12.
If you were a father or mother of one of your child
I believe strongly in addressing professors as “Dr. So-and-so” or “Professor So-and-so” and teachers at other schools as “Mr.” “Miss” or “Ms.” So-and-So depending on the teacher’s preference.
I don’t believe that we are doing Taiwanese students any favors (for those who are going to want to study abroad in the future) by teaching them (in effect) to call people who are higher than they are in the hierarchy of academe as “Ms. Betty” or simply by their first names. Anyway, “Miss Sue” sounds like some sort of prostitute in the Old West…
And I’m American – my understanding is that British people, for instance, might be even less willing to use first names (although I could be wrong about that). At any rate, would you ever call your Chinese teacher in the West by his or her first name? I seriously doubt it, whether you are four years old or forty. Maybe if you’re forty, the teacher might ask you to do so, but in a class setting I don’t think it’s likely.
My feeling is that if the class is offered in a formal setting (school, institute, university), then address should be more formal. If it is an activity, English club, etc., then use of first names might be more appropriate depending on the relationship between the students and the teacher and what the organization wants to promote.
“Teacher Steven” was always just fine for me. The occasional “pig” or “da laowai” was alright too. Then again, I’m pretty casual and liberal with these kinds of things.
Things are obviously different in Australia. We called most but not all of our university lecturers by their first names. As I recall, we mostly did call the head of the department Professor, but everyone else was Sue, Cath, John etc. Same in other personal interest (less formal) classes I’ve taken.
Father or mother of child’s friends - this has changed since I was a kid. Nowadays (in my personal experience) it’s first names, and I do find it a bit disconcerting being addressed by my first name by a three-year-old! When I was a kid it was ‘Aunty’ or ‘Uncle’ and other people have told me it was the same for them. I would prefer that - I’m obviously insufficently progressive.
Parent to child - I would not stand for first names, and I’m fairly sure my parents wouldn’t either. However, I know some people (of my generation) who do call their parents by their first names. With parents of my friends it depends - some of them I use first names, some I use Mr/Mrs, because they seem to prefer it. Where I have no idea (because sometimes the surname of the parent isn’t always the surname of the child!) I have used “Hi, X’s mum”
I’m with the other posters, who say calling your teacher by their first name is something the teacher can establish as their preference.
In Taiwan, I think {name} laoshr is probably best.
[quote=“daasgrrl”]
Things are obviously different in Australia. [/quote]
Kind of OT, but I used to teach a course on international business etiquette and in the research material, there was quite a bit on what not to do in various countries. I realize a lot of it was crap and overly cautious. But, I remember it emaphasized the preference for a lack of formality in Australia.
So, for example, if you get in a taxi, you should sit beside the driver, not behind or else they might think you are treating them like a servant. There was also specific information on not insisting people call you be your title (i.e. Don’t say “I’m Dr. Jones” but, “I’m Adam”).
Was this just silly cross-cultural training material or is there truth to this?
[quote=“rooftop”]So, for example, if you get in a taxi, you should sit beside the driver, not behind or else they might think you are treating them like a servant. There was also specific information on not insisting people call you be your title (i.e. Don’t say “I’m Dr. Jones” but, “I’m Adam”).
Was this just silly cross-cultural training material or is there truth to this?[/quote]
I think there’s some truth to it, but of course you get all sorts in Oz I used to sit next to the taxi driver, but I got more security conscious, plus they installed the security shields, so I think nowadays most people sit in the back out of purely practical concerns. Generally people don’t introduce themselves by their title. If they’re that important they often have someone introducing them, so it all works out. “This is Professor Plum.”
I remember at work one of the secretaries was a bit taken aback because her new boss, originally from South Africa, insisted she use “Mr” when she talked to him. That’s the only time I’ve EVER heard someone use that kind of title for their boss.
On the whole, I would say Australia aspires to be a very egalitarian society, at least in form if not in content.
[quote](i.e. Don’t say “I’m Dr. Jones” but, “I’m Adam”).
Was this just silly cross-cultural training material or is there truth to this?[/quote]
It’s just silly. Everyone knows Australians are either called Bruce or Sheila.
Adam? Puhleeeze!
And before any of you PC nazis jump down my throat with nonsense about “how my brother-in-law is Australian and his name’s Kenneth” – you’re talking bollocks. Maybe he WISHES he was Kenneth but deep down inside he knows he’s Bruce.
In my private classes with kids, I am referred to by my surname…Ms. __________. With adults, it’s more informal so they can call me by my first name. Same for #2… Wait a minute…
[quote] 3. If you were a father or mother of one of your child
When I went to school we called most of our teachers by their first names. I teach kids, so I think it’s stupid for them to call me Mr _____, so they all call me Brian. This is fine with kindy classes, but with elementary kids it’s always really hard to get them not to call me ‘teahcer’ or ‘teacher Brian’. After months of me rplying ‘student’ or ‘student Jacky’ they eventually get the message.
Then again, I’m pretty casual and liberal with these kinds of things. 
I used to sit next to the taxi driver, but I got more security conscious, plus they installed the security shields, so I think nowadays most people sit in the back out of purely practical concerns. Generally people don’t introduce themselves by their title. If they’re that important they often have someone introducing them, so it all works out. “This is Professor Plum.”