OK, this is now the start of my fifth year in Taiwan. My last name starts with Tei, I have a Taitai here, I work in Taipei so I guess it’s all straightforward and in order.
But come on, a FIFTH year? I have more Confucian thinking than my wife already and this lao zhi way of thinking (“who cares”) has become my attitude recently as well.
Then, after drinking half a liter of Chianti (that’s not a Chinese thinker but rather an Italian wine) I had the idea! I need to get deported! Anyone got ideas (getting in jail wouldn’t be so good though)?
Does anyone know a foreigner police guy who is eager to deport a foreigner? Sure we could figure out something… PM me please if you have such contacts.
No, I can’t just leave. All this fighting with wife I had the last 4 years is enough already. And she always wins …
Find a political rally, preferably one with some TV reporters present, and tell everyone that as someone not from Taiwan but from [insert name of your country] you know they should vote for candidate A because candidate B is a [string of perjoratives] – and that goes double for everyone in the [insert name of a political party], who are too [choose one or more: stupid/evil/naive/brainwashed] to be allowed to choose for themselves.
Annex Jhongli county, hmmm… Federal Republic of Jhongli … has a nice ring to it … almost.
No seriously, I thought about writing a pro-trade union article in my blog. But I would need some biiiiiig attention, otherwise … These Taiwanese hate trade unions, right? I mean, whenever I mention it, my wife throws cups at me and my work colleagues get a red face and crouch over their keyboards…
Get a tattoo of Mao Zedong on one butt-cheek and a tattoo of the PRC flag on the other. Go around chucking moons at politicians, government officials, civil servants, soldiers, and police officers, especially when TV cameras are nearby. I’m betting that that might do it.