How to get married to a Taiwanese guy?

jeff, thanks for the link. it sounds very complicated and doesn’t really seem to make marriage an event to look forward to…i hope it is not the same in my country…

as for the other replies on this subject, your attitude torwards women, weither they are chinese/taiwanese, philipinas or from what ever country is very sad. you guys shouldn’t even get married to a woman from you own country…

I was actually trying to offend noshrink, but he didn’t take it that way. Which is fine. As for my quote, I was being facetious. :wink:

Michele, are you in Switzerland right now? Where is your fiance? Why are you thinking of getting married in Taiwan? Where do you guys want to live long-term?

It does seem like some people here are very negative, but I would like to bless you and wish you the best of luck. How did you meet?

thanks for ur support bah…
everything is still in the stars, i was just wondering about, what we’ll go true some day…=)

Well, it’s been some time, that I had a look at this message board. But…
graduation is coming closer and I am starting to wonder about my future again…so here I am back again with more questions…

I guess, I know now what kind of formalities are expecting me, but how about the wedding ceremony itself? I read a lot about the grooms responsibilities in this forum, but how about the bride? What am I expected to do? What If I don’t really need all this drowy and jewellery, does my fiance have to buy me all this stuff just to make his family happy? :?

Why don’t you ask his family? Remember, just about everything to do with a Taiwanese wedding is negotiable between the families involved. Discuss it with your boyfriend’s family.

For what its worth, your boyfriend is supposed to buy the jewellery, red bag, etc., to make YOUR family happy, not his, so if your mother is not bothered about your getting a bunch of tacky Taiwanese tat that you’ll never wear or use, then you shouldn’t have a problem.

I’ve been to my first Taiwanese wedding a week ago. My boyfriend was the grooms witness and so besides the banquet, we were invited to the family thing…the actual marriage.

well, ok…I think I can do all this koutao-ing before the parents and ancestor shrines and I like to eat tangyuan…but there is now way I will have my pictures taken in a photo studio and I will definitely not wear 6 or more different colorful dresses. Gosh…I thought the day you get married, should be the best day in your life, but as far as I can tell, it seems to be a very stressful day for the couple itself.

[quote=“mesheel”]I think I can do all this koutao-ing before the parents[/quote]My mother liked that bit

[quote]I thought the day you get married, should be the best day in your life, but as far as I can tell, it seems to be a very stressful day for the couple itself.[/quote]I agree with that, I felt the point of the the banquet was for someone elses benefit, to show me off. Before the banquet I was left for hours by myself and completely ignored while everyone was doing the bride’s hair etc… they’re lucky they don’t try that now, I don’t put up with any of that crap anymore.
Banquet, my arse, banquets are supposed to have lots of nice food, but we just got the standard chinese 10-course meal of which 1 is edible if you’re lucky, chicken bones floating in water and fish heads don’t count. Can’t even eat at my own wedding… :frowning:

well, the food at the wedding was quite good, they had a lot of dishes and most of them were edible, but the thing is, that i’ve only seen the couple walking in and out of the banquet room showing off new clothes, but i’ve never seen them actually sitting down and eat…

is there any chance i can get a more westernized wedding…?

Quite right. You’re going to be too busy making the rounds to eat much of the food.

If you really want a Western experience, get it in the West. Get married here, if that’s what you’ve been planning; and then have another reception more to your taste in your home country.

My advice: Don’t sweat the wedding too much. (That whole “best day of your life” thing would only mean that nothing for the rest of your life could ever be as good or better. Who wants that?) Go with the flow. Don’t worry about making the wedding day fit all your expectations, because there’s just too much for you to control, esp. when you live in a country where others’ expectations will probably not match your own. In the long run, it’s the marriage that matters, not the wedding.

But do take the honeymoon that you want.

well…i am not really the kind of girl, who dreams about her wedding since the age of 5 or something…i don’t really care a lot about all the details, but i have some principles…no church…no asian-style pics and no changing dresses a hundred of times…and…yeah…i wanna have a great honeymoon trip…that’s about it…

what are my chances to get that? if i do it in europe…my family would want me to go to church…if i do it in asia…how could i possible not do the pics and wear a hundred dresses?..aiyooo…help…i don’t think i wanna get married anymore… :?

The pics are an ordeal, but I did mine almost 9 years ago and the pain is beginning to fade. Now I’m really glad I have them, and I imagine I’ll be even more happy about it 30 years from now when I’m even older and wrinklier. And I think it’s just 3 dresses, isn’t it?

mesheel, forgive me but I don’t understand this statement…“if you just understand a little of Chinese culture you should know, that it isn’t that different…” Are you trying to say Chinese culture is not different from Western culture??? If so, I am curious how you came to this conclusion. As for foreign guys marrying Taiwanese “girls for visa reasons,” why on earth would they do that? Most of the time, IMHO, it’s the Taiwanese who want to marry the Westerner so they can get a ticket (visa) off this island.
Oh, the wedding, since in Taiwan the family comes before the self - don’t you think it might be a little selfish to ignore the desires of the family (for a traditional wedding) just so you will be more comfortable…? But I do wish you good luck :slight_smile:

Well, I just think we shouldn’t always only look for what is different in Chinese and Western culture.

I’m lucky to have a very filial boyfriend who pretty much does what he wants otherwise he would have got married to a nice Taiwanese girl ages ago… :slight_smile:

How come in the beginning of this thread Hartzell and others were advising foreigners to get married in their foreign countries rather than Taiwan? I hope that was in order to avoid having a Taiwanese restaurant wedding and not for some legal reason.

I got married last Saturday. . . in Taiwan. Neither my wife or I was interested in doing the big restaurant thing. It just seems like too much hassle and not much fun. So we got married at Shihlin Court, witnessed by her family, then over to the restaurant for a one table wedding dinner. Her family then all spent the weekend at our place, sleeping on couches, etc, and watching TV. We owed them that much because in September we go to California for not a wedding but a celebration of our wedding, followed by a honeymoon drive up the coast. That’ll be the good celebration.

The weekend before we visited her parents in Chiayi and I gave them a few boxes of fruit from Costco for pinjin. Maybe kindof cheap and not so traditional but they seemed content. And my Chinese is lousy but I did manage to say to them, “Ching nimen gai wo niduh nuer,” which they seemed to understand and accept.

Hartzell was mistaken in saying that one needs a CCRD in order to marry a Taiwanese, wasn’t he? It’s my understanding taht the CCRD is not at all necessary to get married, but is only necessary if one wants to get a Joining Family Residence Visa and an Open Work Permit. If one wants to work more than one job that might be a good idea. But if one has an ARC and a good steady job, there’s no urgent need to do that is there? I haven’t registered yet with the Household Registration Bureau, but for the wedding itself all I needed was a Single Affidavit notarized at the AIT and authenticated at MOFA.

Anyway, I’m glad the hard part is over. Now just 50 years of bliss. :wink:

That’s correct. And congratulations! But don’t forget, you don’t need an OWP if you have a JFRV. You don’t need any kind of work permit at all, and you can do any kind of work you like, without the proviso that it must be a job a local cannot do. So it looks like you can now finally realise your dream of becoming a scantily clad binglan beauty.

Congratulations!

Thanks, I’ve been walking down this path for a long time thinking there must be a better stone ahead, but I guess I finally realized the sun is going down and it’s time to pick up a stone. Besides, this one is a beauty.

And as the song goes, everybody must get stoned… :wink:

From one newlywed to another: Best wishes and years of happiness with Mrs. Mother Theresa. :laughing:

Gongxi, gongxi! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: