pubba: Oh man, that’s rough. I personally think the worst part is her farming you out to other buxibans and privates. That brings tears to my eyes because it probably wouldn’t be too hard for you to do that yourself and pocket the difference that she’s currently getting. I bet she’s charging those privates a fair bit. If you look at all those sites where people post ads for tutors or their profiles as tutors, there are literally tons for Taipei, and to a lesser extent Taoyuan, Taizhong and Gaoxiong. Living in Miaoli, if you put such an ad up, you’d probably get a pretty good response precisely because comparatively few foreigners live in Miaoli, yet I’m sure there are still people there who want to learn English. Ditch this scam she’s running on you.
I find without a doubt, the single biggest thing that contributes to my culture shock here (and between a job that is increasingly doing my head in – I’m just riding out the last three months or so of my contract now – and planning a wedding, I’ve been in more of it this year than I’ve been in a state of non-culture shock) is a sense of lack of control. Feeling like you’re somebody’s bitch sucks. For me, I don’t have the added issue of money (well, I did right before my wedding) because I’m pretty good on that side, but being somebody’s bitch because you live from pay to pay would compound it. I know quite a few people who are very stressed from their jobs, so they blow big money every weekend to unwind. They end up working to pay for their weekends which they need to escape from their jobs. It’s a vicious cycle, and I think this can really be worse in Taipei because it’s even harder to save money there due to the higher cost of living. In many ways, it might not actually be a better thing for you to move to Taipei or Taizhong if that could potentially be a problem for you.
Anyway, at the end of this year, I’ll have close to a year’s living expenses as a buffer, meaning I can execute my plan of being a gun for hire (I won’t need an ARC because I am married and should have my ARC through my wife by then, though I have friends who either do visa runs or who just have a basic ARC job and then freelance the rest) and largely telling any fools to shove it. After this year, I’ll never sign another contract because when you put all your eggs in one basket, you do make yourself somebody’s bitch. It’s worth considering really paring down your cost of living (temporarily if it hurts too much) and getting the slackest ARC job you can that will cover your living costs. For a single guy living outside of a major city, 25,000NT/month shouldn’t even be painful – I’m sure you could do 20,000NT/month at a stretch. At 650NT/hour, 25,000NT/month is under ten hours per week (I know that’s technically not the minimum for an ARC, but it’s still possible to get an ARC this way – everything is a grey area here – and a couple of my friends have one on six hours per week). That shouldn’t be too hard. Then, you build everything else up on your terms. If you don’t appear desperate when looking for work, you lay down the law from the outset, and you’re willing to walk if they try to change the rules, you can make it work for you. Spreading an additional fifteen hours per week over five employers means they each only have 20% of the power over you that one would have over you if you had all of your fifteen hours with him/her, so if you do have to walk, it’s only a small hit to your income. This will make you a more ballsy bastard, and in the world of laoban/dog psychology, that makes all the difference because they’ll no longer smell fear. This is what some of my friends do and it works for them. In fact, if as a foreigner, you’re comparatively rare in Miaoli (as opposed to Taipei where, despite there being more buxibans, there are also a lot more foreigners as a ratio between the two), you can actually hold the power over the laoban.
People say money can’t buy happiness, but that’s not entirely true. It, or the need for it, is often the difference between feeling free/empowered and not feeling that way, which is a large part of happiness. One of my friends who freelances and lives frugally is enamoured with something Benjamin Franklin said about if you’re financially free, you’re free to stick to your principles (or at least not get fucked over). A frequent topic of complaint at this site is how we get fucked over by our employers, when in reality, we let them fuck us over. Sure, it’s not nice to get eaten by a wolf, but if we start from the position that they’re wolves, then we can’t blame them if they eat us. That’s central to who they are. Our job is to control them, not be eaten.
It sounds like you might be making some connections and finding your groove in Miaoli. Why not stay there a while? You might find some interesting people to hang around with, and possibly even a girlfriend. Also, as everyone has mentioned, hopping on a train, or getting out to the hills could really help. I try to get out of Taoyuan every weekend if I can. I usually go surfing two or three weekends a month. Otherwise (like this weekend), I’ll go hiking and/or to see cheap movies in Zhongyuan.
