Nah, they’d have to be REAL robots. Women aren’t impressed with your ‘Transformers’ collection beyond, say, 28 or so.
I can fold my ear over and get it to stick on its own… a vacuum is created inside. Would that work?
If you have to ask an Internet forum how to impress a lady then…
… well, good luck! 
You mean like this:
Stupid human trick my 3 year old daughter somehow figured out she could do.
You mean like this:
Stupid human trick my 3 year old daughter somehow figured out she could do.[/quote]
somewhat scarily, yes it is 
Like, duh, talk to her only in Simpsons and Monty Python quotes.
I breathe through my ears and have a tongue as long as a frog’s.
Can I carry your hand bag for you ?
If it’s a Taiwanese girl - “I just got paid, do you want to go to the LV store”?
Hello, Mr images.
BFM, is the winner on this one. Likes to shoe shop and carry hand bags. :bravo: should have hung out with him more when I was there.
How about learning to sing this song (NSFW)
If the song isn’t for you, then try: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 
“I convinced the Taipei City Government to go with Hanyu Pinyin”?
That’s very cool.
Cook for her.
Darn. I was hoping this would work.
Getting closer.
As pathetic as it is, that might work.
Something which has always worked well with the local lasses in the past is to cook for them, and then get 2-3 glasses of white wine in them, while looking them deep in the eyes.
Don’t forget to clean the house, and remember the candles.
Main issue is to get rid of them afterwards.
Nick Cave does all that but still aint getting any. Perhaps he should have bought some shoes?
No Pussy Blues - Grinderman
My face is finished, my body’s gone.
And I can’t help but think standin’ up here in all this applause and gazin’ down at all the young and the beautiful.
With their questioning eyes.
That I must above all things love myself.
I saw a girl in the crowd,
I ran over I shouted out,
I asked if I could take her out,
But she said that she didn’t want to.
I changed the sheets on my bed,
I combed the hairs across my head,
I sucked in my gut and still she said
That she just didn’t want to.
I read her Eliot, read her Yeats,
I tried my best to stay up late,
I fixed the hinges on her gate,
But still she just never wanted to.
I bought her a dozen snow-white doves,
I did her dishes in rubber gloves,
I called her Honeybee, I called her Love,
But she just still didn’t want to. She just never wants to.
I sent her every type of flower,
I played her guitar by the hour,
I patted her revolting little chihuahua,
But still she just didn’t want to.
I wrote a song with a hundred lines,
I picked a bunch of dandelions,
I walked her through the trembling pines,
But she just even then didn’t want to. She just never wants to.
I thought I’d try another tack,
I drank a litre of cognac,
I threw her down upon her back,
But she just laughed and said that she just didn’t want to.
I thought I’d have another go,
I called her mah little O,
I felt like Marcel Marceau
must feel when she said that she just never wanted to. She just didn’t want to.
I got the no pussy blues.
You can listen and see the film clip here:
Grinderman - No pussy blues
HG
That’s the coolest song in ages. I love Nick Cave; how do you get THAT COOL?