How to make a baby stop crying?

Taiwan Parenting
1

This could be really useful, even if it only works some of the time!

[quote]1. How to make a baby stop crying
Dilemma: Sure, the baby’s cute. But why won’t he stop crying?
Solution: The secret to stop a crying baby lies in making the sound you produce during the mouthfeel stage of wine tasting.
Why this works: When babies are still in the womb, the noises they can hear are limited to those in the 6000-8000mHz range. The sound you make when you slosh the liquid behind your lips during wine tasting takes place at about 7000mHz, reminding the baby of a time when the world around was peaceful and the whirs and stirs inside Mommy’s tummy soothed him back to a sleepy state.[/quote]
There’s apparently a video of this technique working here, though I haven’t seen it yet.

2

Ha ha

It will work.

ha ha

Good luck

3

The only guaranteed way to stop your baby from crying is to not have a baby in the first place.

4

Doubters!

Well, it’s worth a try, surely? Five minutes of making bizarre noises in exchange for a potentially more peaceful life? I’d do it if I had a baby to practice on. Come to think of it, I might try it surreptitiously on the MRT or something. Next time I hear a baby crying, I’ll make some wine-tasting noises nearby, and pretend I’m just being a regular crazy foreigner. Then if the baby shuts up, I’ll graciously reveal my secret.

5

[quote=“joesax”]Doubters!

Well, it’s worth a try, surely? Five minutes of making bizarre noises in exchange for a potentially more peaceful life? I’d do it if I had a baby to practice on. Come to think of it, I might try it surreptitiously on the MRT or something. Next time I hear a baby crying, I’ll make some wine-tasting noises nearby, and pretend I’m just being a regular crazy foreigner. Then if the baby shuts up, I’ll graciously reveal my secret.[/quote]

I can’t WAIT to hear your results, hehe.

6

My child has never cried.

If your child cries you are doing something wrong. Sounds like child abuse. If your child cries it’s because you are a BAD, BAD PARENT!!

:wink:

7

By the time the baby is asleep you’ll probably be smashed.

8

Sounds like a lot of fuss when drugs are rapid and guaranteed.

HG

9

I would make a noise at 18Hz and give it something to really cry about.

10

[quote=“Big Fluffy Matthew”]I would make a noise at 18Hz and give it something to really cry about.[/quote]Is that the fabled “brown note”? I don’t think babies need any help with that.

Come to think of it, the units in that article are up the creek, aren’t they? 6000-8000 mHz is just 6-8 Hz, hardly a sound at all really. And nowhere near the sound made by tasting wine. Perhaps they meant 6000-8000 Hz.

I still think it’s worth a try. People make all sorts of other bizarre noises at babies; why not try this one? If it can calm them down a bit sometimes, that’s got to be worth something.

11

[quote=“joesax”]

I still think it’s worth a try. People make all sorts of other bizarre noises at babies; why not try this one? If it can calm them down a bit sometimes, that’s got to be worth something.[/quote]
I have another noise you could try…
whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm!

How was that? Effective?

12

[quote=“Funk500”][quote=“joesax”]

I still think it’s worth a try. People make all sorts of other bizarre noises at babies; why not try this one? If it can calm them down a bit sometimes, that’s got to be worth something.[/quote]
I have another noise you could try…
whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm!

How was that? Effective?[/quote]It’s a good sound for a Doctor Who episode but a bit scary for babies IMO. Unfortunately, I don’t have one handy to try it out on.

Anyway, if I were a betting man I’d put money on the slurpy sound beating it.

13

reggae.
and the rocking of to & fro.

14

i was going to say that, but thought better of it: i don’t want people to think i’m some sort of scientist geek type.

15

And if the baby isn’t asleep and is still crying, at least you will be smashed enough to crash out and the crying won’t bother you… But then again it may sound worse in the morning when you wake up with a terrible hangover… :shh:

16

I was going to say that, but thought better of it: I don’t want people to think I’m some sort of scientist geek type.[/quote]Perish the thought!

17

I wish I’d known that a year ago.

We’ll gladly lend you ours for a day or two … or a week, or a month or few.

But while we’re waiting for you to take her, I’ll give this a try myself. Anything, absolutely anything, is worth a try…

18

Yours is pretty new still, right? Ever heard of the colic hold?

19

3 months now, so we’re hoping she’s very close to the end of the colicky phase.

But thanks for that, we’ll certainly give it a try.

20

The vacuum cleaner? Our little one is petrified of it. A look of abject fear comes across his face when it is switched on. Poor little mite but it is quite funny.