I started a new job. It’s a Italian/American company and relates to Italian services. I left out and tried to leave out with people I work with my GFs parents is good friends with the owner and do business. I did not drop their name when I interview and did not ask for their help. The owner does not yet know I work there or know me because we never met as he’s not really working with me. The director of business knows but I asked him to not keep it a secret but not just openly tell people. I want it this way, the same reason I don’t want to work for my fathers business. I want to know I earned it, it very important to me.
Yesterday they visited the place on business and saw I was basically doing basic “grunt” work and in a bottom position in the food chain of how he business is. They for some reason was unhappy to see me doing that. They want to influence decisions to move me in a better position even though I asked them not to and even find me a job else where with their connections.
Part of me wants to stick to my values but another part feels that maybe it’s not a bad idea at least to see if another job outside of the one I have is available that’s really good. And that I should use the resources available to me. They basically treat me like their son.
I feel like there could be some resentments in the current place if all of the sudden I just moved up or to a better department and position. And people might not respect me and the merits of my position.
I’d say the time for your GF’s parents to exert their influence would’ve been before you joined the company. It wouldn’t look very good if they did it now. If they want to help you find a better position at another company, that’s another matter. Using your connections is a time-honored practice in Taiwan’s job market, but I guess the most important thing is how you would feel about it. It’s good that you want to achieve things on your own merit, but in a certain sense, your connections are part of your merit.
I suppose this is true. Your ability to make connections is a skill and something you gain.
I just feel that I’m able to achieve things on my own. But i think what the doctor said makes sense as well. No one gets anywhere without help and connections. I may see what they want to talk to me about. I could always refuse.
I think they weren’t happy because yesterday I was doing a lot of stuff probably because I’m the new guy and due to my physical size and I’m always the one that carries heavy things and reach high places when people need it. But it has been a common theme whenever I work. I always end up changing the light bulbs and stuff like that.
When I was younger I thought the same way. In hindsight, I should have used my connections more when starting out. I could have skipped a step or two in my career, which has a compounding effect over time.
The job market is a competitive environment. Use any advantage you have.
Indeed it is. I feel like college and even high school did not prepare me and my peers for it. They made it seem like you come here and you’ll get a great job after. We got a top program blah blah blah. Nope. Hard reality check for myself and others.
Yea some people, your collegues will gossip, but in the end of day does not matter. It is all about your buttom end.
Connections go long way. Anywhere in world. No shame with it.
I was hard proud kiddo, climbing up by myself. Was saying to myself will work harder and will just be tehnical better comparing to others. I have became, but still lower in chain, comparing with folks who understand how to build up and levarage connections. Is just how a real world works. Would have waaaay less hassle, when simple use connection. Me & dad relations are complicated, like yours. But my life could be way easier simple calling big boss saying hej sir, am D nice, son of X , am wondering do you still have empty position ?
So you better use it, know what to do with connections, is a skill, one must learn in order to be become successful.
Nobody does anything for free, particularly in Taiwan. The price you’re paying is a loss of control over your life because if things ever unravel with your gf all the help will suddenly turn to hurt and the bottom will fall out from under you.
If it was your own family helping you get ahead the price (loss of control over your life) might well be worth the rewards over the long run. GF’s are here today, gone tomorrow though so I wouldn’t be willing to build my career on such a shaky foundation.
