We are expecting a baby soon and we’re not married. My boyfriend is NOT from Taiwan but I am and we’re now living together. My parents who owns the house hold registration form do not want to register the Father of my child nor want to use the guy’s name for the baby.
I myself do not want to use the guy’s name for my baby for a lot of reasons but he does want the baby to have his last name. It is fine with me for him to see the child but not for him to have custody on my child.
Please help me to understand if I can or cannot register the guy’s name as the father of my child.
Yes, you can. I believe it’s better for the baby not to grow up “fatherless” legally, even if the father is still there in the picture. You may be affraid that the baby will “belong” to the father, as Taiwan’s laws seem to be set up this way, but with many other things, Taiwan laws seem to state that matters involving a foreign man should be dealt with according to the foreign man’s home country laws, so maybe you would still have more legal rights to your child. It’s tough to know, exactly. You can, by the way, give your baby your Chinese last name and still list your boyfriend as the father on the birth certificate. I hope this is an answer to the question you were asking.
It’s not that I want to register my child as fatherless it’s just that I do not want the father’s name to be in child’s documents at all. Also because I am afraid that my boyfriend would have the right in the future to take my child away from me. Besides, he does not deserve a family because he’s not acting as if he is happy to have a family. Believe it or not he only cares about the child and not me as the mother of the child. He cares more about his career and his stupid friends. I do not see if me and my child will ever be his main priority in life.
Thank you for your input. FYI, I have given the guy a lot of chance to adjust to the situation and to prove that he is a responsible man. But he turns out to be immature enough to be called as a boy and not a man. He wants to be responsible but his actions don’t match his words. Talk is cheap you know??
The guy has a steady job. Financial matters should be no problem for me though the guy would give support or not. What matters most is the emotional, mental, and paternal support from the guy. The baby would definitely be happier to know that daddy loves both mommy and baby. I don’t think living separately with the guy and just let him visit the baby would be enough because it is still going to be a different environment. If the guy can’t fill the spot of being a responsible father to my baby then I know for sure somebody else will sooner or later. Besides, why should the child love a father who has limited time and attention?
I suggest that you had best file a civil lawsuit against the fellow before he disappears . . . . . .
It is only fair to you and the child that the TRUE FACTS of the fatherhood be established before too much more time passes. As the child gets older, the “father” may conveniently state that he never had sexual intercourse with you at all, hence “he could not possibly be the father, etc., etc.” . . . . . . . (this has happened to other people in your position . . . . . ) hence I suggest straightening out the LEGAL DETAILS earlier rather than later.
To put it another way, you need to make the best of a bad situation . . . . . .
I agree with Hartzell’s post. It seems, from reading all your posts, that you and the father have a very rocky relationship. I realize that durring pregnancy you will be having every emotional swing immaginable, at least I did, but you really should take some legal action now.
If you don’t want this guy to have any rights to your child, you will have to decide that now. If you leave him with rights at the time of birth, then you have a more difficult legal situation. If he insists on his fatherly rights there are other measures you can take to ensure that you don’t lose your child. Please do talk with a lawyer and make some real decisions.
It is best for the child to have two parents from the start, but as you said, it’s not impossible for your child to have a real “daddy” at some other point. And if the father will not cooperate with you now, just leave him out and do what you have to do by yourself. Easier that way.
I have seen your situation before. I’ve seen foreign fathers who were complete aes and I’ve seen Taiwanese father’s with foreign mothers. The Taiwanese father’s can be just as big aes as the foreigners. But as a Taiwanese mother, you really do have all the legal advantages, so please do see that lawyer.
thank you for all your replies. i have talked to some lawyers and to AIT regarding the matter. they have made it clear that it would not be easy for the father to take the child with him without my approval since we are NOT married. some local lawyers have asked me to leave and to not let the guy know our whereabouts.
i think mr. hartzell is quite confused about my post. i am not aftering for the child support from the father. what i want is for the father to be totally erased from the picture. to me he does not have the right to see my child nor to hold my baby since he has not been responsible man.
When your child is born do not write the fathers name on the birth certificate. But be aware if you want you child to have Fathers nationality you’ll need a DNA test later on.
Then you register your child on the household registration without a fathers name. Father will then have no rights to child and cannot apply for a foreign nationality or passport without your consent.
[quote=“housecat”]Yes, you can. I believe it’s better for the baby not to grow up “fatherless” legally, even if the father is still there in the picture. You may be affraid that the baby will “belong” to the father, as Taiwan’s laws seem to be set up this way, but with many other things,
Times have changed and it is not automatic that fathers get custody.