Lord, f…k this shit. I get so annoyed hearing this kind of stuff.
Tell him, “Not to be boastful, but really, honey, lets talk in Chinese when your Chinese is at the level where I won’t cringe upon hearing you speak.”
Some guys asked me to teach them Chinese before. GOOD GOD! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THEY TEACH CHINESE AT THE LOCAL JC? (Sigh. Shake my head. Sympathetic look on face.)
Second language ability is a hard won accomplishment and at times of little apparent value. People here spend years in school studying in ways that give them very little conversational competency. They want to practice what they “learned”. This is understandable, commendable even. On the other hand the people they want to paractice with for free are frequently employed full time as English teachers and have more than likely had their patience tortured beyond belief. They have also quite likely spent quite a bit of time studying Chinese and since they are here feel they should be free to use the language. This also quite understandable no? If you are trying to use your significant other for language lessons you want to be sure there is some give and take or somebody is going to feel, well, used.
And Jubom you gotta be kidding right? English speaking people hear their language being mangled constantly. Listening to our crap Chinese is a great opportunity for people here to learn the value of good pronunciation. Besides lots of foriegners here apparently speak Mandarin quite well. I’m guessing enola’s boyfriend speaks Chinese beautifully.
He speaks all those languages and he doesn’t even know Sanskrit?
What a putz!
It certainly does suck when you feel that the language you choose to speak is “unwelcomed”. I mean, that works both ways - for everyone. And the brain is the biggest sex organ, so if your Wernicke’s area ain’t welcome in the sack and his Broca’s area turns you off, then what are you doing together?
Why does everything make so much sense when you’re not in a relationship?
Well, Jubom, bob is right (however that would be EX-boyfriend). It’s not a situation where one of us is weaker at one language and seeking an opportunity to practice it. We are both fluent in english and chinese, it’s just a matter of which one we choose to speak to each other with. Silly, huh?
Love blinds…
I guess you’ve made your mind up anyway enola and probably for reasons that were not discussed here. But it case you haven’t keep in mind that the language learning/teaching thing can drive anybody :loco: for a bit on occassion. He sounded like quite an amazing bloke actually, but then of course what do I know. He could have been the boyfriend from hell.
He can speak English and Chinese but would prefer not to speak at all if you want to speak English?
Amazing indeed. :loco:
Bob, you’re not getting enough carbon monoxide. Get out into that traffic!
He can speak English and Chinese but would prefer not to speak at all if you want to speak English?
Amazing indeed. :loco: [/quote]
Haha, this one cracks me up. Amazing indeed.
Guess I misunderstood the situation. Both of you speak both languages just fine…good god. I am rendered speechless, in both English AND Chinese.
Best of luck.
He can speak English and Chinese but would prefer not to speak at all if you want to speak English?
Amazing indeed. :loco: [/quote]
Haha, this one cracks me up. Amazing indeed.
Guess I misunderstood the situation. Both of you speak both languages just fine…good god. I am rendered speechless, in both English AND Chinese.
Best of luck.
[/quote]
I think he’s gone troppo
I still think you guys are being too hard on the guy. But maybe that’s cuz teaching English stresses the hell out of me as well, and by Saturday night I’m frequently a miserable bastard too. 
I empathize with the guy, from what I can tell from the posts.
If he’s a “language person”, and he’s been in Taiwan for 10 years, then, yes, he might feel like he’s living in an “english bubble”, which to a language person might mean swallowing your pride.
Sometimes, all English all the time just rubs you the wrong way. Like you teach English all day and that’s fine. But then you go out in public and all these complete strangers are pushing your English-wheelchair for you and you think “Hello, A-hole, I can move on the Chinese sidewalk just fine, thank you!” And then you get home and your partner is like “Oh, I’m just so tired of speaking Chinese all day. It’s nice to have someone to talk to in English.” And you think “grrrr… that’s it, I’m doing plastic surgery and turning Asian.”
Or you could just change your attitude, but then you would be sacrificing the language person that you are. And it is refreshing to me when a westerner speaks Chinese. Not impressive, mind you, just refreshing.
Maybe he should just chuck it all and talk to himself in Sanskrit. THAT would be impressive.
[quote=“sandman”]Amazing indeed. :loco:
Bob, you’re not getting enough carbon monoxide. Get out into that traffic![/quote]
Sorry Bob, but that is funny. An adult version of trying to get the children to play in the traffic by throwing their rubber duck out there.
I’m surprised there is any sympathy for the guy involved in this at all. I just went straight for the superficial arsehole tag, get rid of him quick time.
[quote=“Sinister Tiddlywinks”] Sometimes, all English all the time just rubs you the wrong way. Like you teach English all day and that’s fine. But then you go out in public and all these complete strangers are pushing your English-wheelchair for you and you think “Hello, A-hole, I can move on the Chinese sidewalk just fine, thank you!” And then you get home and your partner is like “Oh, I’m just so tired of speaking Chinese all day. It’s nice to have someone to talk to in English.” And you think “grrrr… that’s it, I’m doing plastic surgery and turning Asian.”
[/quote]
Thanks Tiddlywinks you put it a lot better than I could have. Teaching, studying and struggling with languages ALL THE TIME does funny things to your head. You try to stay open and realize that others don’t have the same background, but with your SO you hope for a little more understanding. My wife and I “use” each other to solve language problems all the time but we do it in considerate ways. We don’t ask when the other is exhausted from work, we prepare sensible questions beforehand, we tape record what the other says so they don’t have to repeat it twenty times etc. It is just about showing a bit of consideration really. If the guy in question here happens to feel that he wants a complete break from English with his SO it seems pretty understandable to me.
[quote=“bob”]
If the guy in question here happens to feel that he wants a complete break from English with his SO it seems pretty understandable to me.[/quote]
Sure, what’s not to understand? But, the difference between you and the guy is that you don’t threaten to break up with your wife over this, or do you?
Makes a huge difference, don’t you think?
I was going to say the same thing. I can understand not wanting to speak English, but surely there are better ways of going about getting what you want than just suddenly switching to Chinese and refusing to budge. How about a “you know, I’m getting worn out speaking English all the time. For the first two hours after we get home from work, could we just chill out in Chinese?” Or agree that Mon Wed Fri are Chinese days etc.
There are lots of ways to compromise without threatening to just dump someone in order to get what you want. What a jackass. :loco:
You haven’t mentioned what your native language is…I assume from the above that it’s English.
If you’re not a native speaker of Chinese, I don’t think it’s a good idea for the two of you to hold extended conversations in Chinese in the first place. That could reinforce erroneous speech.
The guy might be a complete dickhead for all I know and threatening to dump somebody like that is harsh definitely. My only point really is that he must have worked really hard to have learned as many languages as he has and might deserve a break in the “OK I’m going a tad loony from having taught English to some of the least motivated students on the planet for the last ten years” department.
Anyway it sounds like the horse left the barn awhile ago on this rodeo so onward and upward I say…
Not speaking English at home can be a safety issue. I really thought my Chinese was good enough to request
chin ne zou wode lien (Maybe somebody can fix my fractured Pinyin)
My gentle and polite SO replied in English before acting on my request:
“Why do you want me to punch you in the face?”
[quote=“Ironman”]Not speaking English at home can be a safety issue. I really thought my Chinese was good enough to request
chin ne zou wode lien (Maybe somebody can fix my fractured Pinyin)
My gentle and polite SO replied in English before acting on my request:
“Why do you want me to punch you in the face?”[/quote]
Hahahahaa. Good one.