I hate printers

Yes printers are the scourge of my career. They always break down when I need them most, and when I try and fix a problem with one, it is like some kind of techo brain teaser to open and shut the doors, flaps and levers in the correct sequence. They laugh at me, I can hear them.

My latest printer at work is a joy. It’s a small cheap, A4 laser with 2 led lights ,red and green, with symbols next to them I have never seen before…and ONE button (a huge cost saving measure I’m sure - reaping an additional 2NT profit per 6000NT machine). The ONE button has many symbols next to that. It seems this one button does everything. Paper feed, cancel, pause, self check etc - I find this out everytime one of the lights flashes trying to tell me something, so I push the button as if some miraculous single input from the human will fix all the fuckers woes. Sometimes whacking that button with my forehead works, but everyday that printer is getting closer to that window over there I swear.

btw, this is not a plea for help, just a first-day-back-at-work-after-a-holiday rant

I had a small chat with that printer this morning, and he has informed me he isn’t to keen on you either. :slight_smile:

Have you tried holding the button down when the red light is on ? The red light means something important went wrong, so the button needs to be pressed more importantly to fix it.

Have you tried swearing at it and hitting it repeatedly?

Try to scare it a little by hanging it out of the window for a while. But don’t use the power cord, it might pop out.

The printer in my office keeps on indicating that there is a paper jam when there really isn’t one, so I usually bang on the parts and that seems to work sometimes… :laughing:
But what I am seriously hoping is that it breaks and the company get a new printer… However, it doesn’t seem likely… :noway:

Paper - color markers - draw

Paper - pen - write

Paper - magazine - scissors - glue - paste

Hey presto! Printer is out of a job.

Yes, I hate them. Actually, I hate anything that is technology because I can’t understand it. I also hate anything that requires a manual because reading is work and I don’t like working. So I bought a new HP 4-in-1 mofo. Each time I have a problem I can call their customer service and they are very nice.

The thing is, I can’t put too much paper in the feeder because the humidity makes the papers stick together. And I had to buy “special” thicker paper because with the old pack of thinner paper always jammed up the machine.

“Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days I’ll just kick this piece of shit out the window!”

Well the printer gods are pissed of with me now. I’ve stirred up the hornet’s nest.
Last night I tried to print at home: “There is a communication error with your printer, click here for troubleshooting”

Those troubleshooters are useless too, but just this time I’ll click it and see what Bill has to say:

  1. Is the printer switched on (WTF do YOU think)
  2. Is the printer cable connected (See above)
  3. XP troubleshooter has finished and could not resolve your problem.

Great. At home the printer is right NEXT to the window, :s


:smiley: