I lost to the Dark Side yesterday

I lost it yesterday…just f@@king lost it.

When my youngest son, let’s call him Rufus (he is a 3rd grade student), came to the language school yesterday he told me that a 5th grade student had shot him with a BB gun at school (Rufus was also hit in the neck with a thrown rock). Rufus has been having some trouble at school, partly because he has a smart mouth (yes, I’m trying to work with him on that) but mostly because he looks different.

Now I have been telling him that if he runs into trouble to walk away and find his teacher. Turn the other cheek, love thy neighbor, and all that other lovey-dovey, granola bar, Birkenstock shoe shit. But I told him, don’t use Aikido.

Well, after making sure I had understood Rufus’ side of the story I went to his school with not much love in my heart. Actually it was filled with piss and vinegar. I could feel my legs getting lighter and the edge of my sight getting that red tinge. I let the Dark Side in (that hasn’t happened much since high school football).

I walked into the teacher’s meeting and said in a very loud voice in Mandarin, “Why do you let students bring BB Guns to school to shoot my son”. Stunned silence. “I want an answer and I want it right now”. “Oh Rufus’ father, don’t be angry.” “Don’t be angry? My son was attacked with weapons at your school and I want to know why.” (Yes, I was talking very loudly, some folks might even call it yelling.) “Sit down Rufus’s father and we can talk about it” “No, I will wait outside and you can meet me there.”

Well I had calmed down a bit after I went outside. Actually the scene of a big, goofy looking foreigner yelling at all the teachers of an Taiwan elementary school was a bit funny I suppose. A teacher came out and explained that they have taken care of the problem. I listened and of course, Rufus was at fault also by talking back to the kid. But that doesn’t excuse getting shot at school with a BB Gun (or getting hit by the rock). I told the teacher that if this student continues hunting/stalking my son (it wasn’t the first time Rufus has dealt with the kid) that I would wait outside of school and get up close and personal with whoever picks this bully up. Be it grandma or the Baby Jesus himself. I know how to hunt also. That would be in nobody’s best interests if that happens. Needless to say, the teacher was full of “piesay”.

Will wait and see what happens. I went by Rufus’ classroom this morning and strolled by the 5th grade classes looking very much like a Balrog. Just wanted to let them see that Rufus’ dad was paying attention.

And as of today, Rufus does have the green light from me to use his Aikido if he needs to.

[quote=“Durins Bane”]“Oh Rufus’ father, don’t be angry.”[/quote] :saywhat: wtf is that about? You had to wait till the kid came home to hear that he’d been shot in school?

[quote=“Durins Bane”]“The problem’s been taken care of”[/quote]… meaning the shooter has been expelled and a juvenile hearing scheduled? Or is it more like a slap on the wrist and ‘don’t do that again’?

File charges against the kid’s parents AND the school. “Talking back” is no excuse to shoot someone (with any kind of gun) or hit people with rocks. The school (should be) legally liable as well as the parents. Teach everyone a good lesson.

Wow, that aikido must really help your restraint! I’d have found the kid and pulled him backwards through the window before finding out where he lived…

I also agree with the above comment. “Taken care of” I’m pretty sure means nothing at all.

I am considering that. I will wait to see what the school does first. If I am not happy, I will take the offensive.

Good Lord–I think you are more than excused at being angry in this situation. Rocks and BB guns can do some serious damage.

As I learned with Taipei 101 Ricegate, letting the authorities know and using every possible resource to tell everyone really does wonders.

[quote=“Durins Bane”]I will wait to see what the school does first. If I am not happy, I will take the offensive.[/quote]You don’t need to wait, I can tell you right now what they’ll do, which is follow the path of least resistance. Of course it will be better for the school if everyone just forgets about the whole thing and moves along. They will stall and foot-drag until you either give up or bring the cops or education ministry in.

Violence begets violence begets violence begets violence begets violence… That’s the way it goes.

You lost it? I don’t think so. You were the model of restraint. If it were me I would be upset for the following reasons.

  1. My son was shot
  2. He told me
  3. It seems the teachers did nothing and failed to notify me of the situation

You were mild mannered and left them a way out to hopefully solve the problem.

Hope it works out,

But Durins B. has wisely counselled his son to break that chain, bob.

My two NT = this is one of those situations that calls out for formal complaints. If the school responds in the way that other posters have predicted, not only does that absolve them of blame (if it’s let go, it never really happened) but there’s also no guarantee that the boy will not continue to target your son.

Scare that child (through, and along with his family/formal complaints) and make him understand that he endangered your son’s life. Otherwise, bullies just grow worse over time.

[quote=“Flicka”]using every possible resource to tell everyone really does wonders.[/quote]Using the media would also be an option, but one that you’ll have to get onto right now. It isn’t going to be news tomorrow. Oh, and you might get more interest from the media if you let mom handle it, since your going down to the school isn’t an integral part of the story. You might suppress the fact your kid is of mixed race since any sniff of Taiwanese racism will pour cold water over any interest the media has.

Up until yesterday I did.

My two NT = this is one of those situations that calls out for formal complaints. If the school responds in the way that other posters have predicted, not only does that absolve them of blame (if it’s let go, it never really happened) but there’s also no guarantee that the boy will not continue to target your son. [/quote]

I know that the school will do nothing, but they deserve a chance to act on their own. I will give them a day or two. I am thinking my best option is to go to the police station and file a report and also talk my my friends at the Kaohsiung Education department.

Talk to the parents. In most cases if you’re rational and clear the parents will take care of the issue. They will apologize and whoop the kid good when he gets home.

There are cases where this does not happen. In that case, don’t lose your “victim” status. If you get too aggro, you will lose your “victim” status and be classified as the problem instead. Don’t scare the other kid. Not only is that immature, but you will quickly become the “unreasonable”, “them” against “us”.

  1. Tell you son he can defend himself (and be prepared for the consequences)
  2. Threaten the school with a formal complaint if something isn’t done
  3. Talk personally to the teacher about how upset you about the incident
  4. Look for another school

What I wrote wasn’t very clear. I meant scare the child/and his family by making a formal complaint.

I didn’t mean to suggest you take him on.

One more thing DB: if you wait too long to make a formal complaint, it might not result in much. Have you photographed any marks on your son?

(a) sue the school
(b) file a police report - not that the police could care less, but you might get some leverage in your civil complaint.

Take no prisoners. You’re a foreigner. They expect you to be Bolshi. Ham it up. This softly-softly crap never worked for me. What would a Taiwanese parent do if his son was shot? Get all Confucian? My arse.


You were very restrained.

I know that you probably feel like crunching someone now. However, the real pain you can cause them would be that resultant from actual legal action. There is nothing like a legal action to get peoples’ attention and to get them moving to do what they ought to have done originally. Its an unfortunate fact, but, many problems are never settled until legal action is taken. I would also seek out the parents of the kids who shot the bb gun and who threw the rock and tell them you will be suing them too. This is absolute nonsense and the attitude around here (Taiwan) is that everything should be forgotten now as nobody was severely harmed. That’s why there are so many “next times” with wailing family members here… too few have a sense of foreseeability here.

I think the school was way wrong when it failed to notify you immediately and wrong again in the way that they treated you… and I doubt that the school intends to do much at all, which would be a third wrong. The fourth wrong is that they allowed your boy to be bullied.

As to the issue of whether your boy deserved getting shot or having a rock thrown at him… absolutely not.

If that’s the case then I think it would be best for you and the school to part ways.

A ruckus needs to be raised in the manner that gets the result you want.

So… what do you want?

All that is necessary for the triumph
of evil is that good men do nothing. — Edmund Burke

Go after them hard! (school and parents)

I’m good with a bb gun. I can make that bully punk shut his mouth and know his role.

Get photos of the marks on your son.
Get a doctors report.
Go to the police station now a file a criminal complaint.
Go the a lawyer and start procedings to sue the school and parents.

Do this now, because once the evidence has faded you have no case.

Sadly (sweeping generalisation alert) the only way to force Taiwnese to take action is to threaten to cost them money.

I know you don’t want to make waves, but your son was shot. What if next time the pellet hits him in the eye?

Even if nothing as serious as this happens again, you have shown your emotions infront of a room a Taiwanese. If your son retaliates for whatever reason in the future, he will get the blame. Like father like son. It’s the foreign blood. etc.

I don’t have kids, yet, and haven’t been here as long as some, but I have had a winning hand trumped by the ‘but you are a foreigner card’ enough times to see where this will end up, if you play fairly.