If I were mayor of Taipei

I would make it illegal to ride a motor scooter on the sidewalk—even to park it. I would make sure that tickets were issued. If you are on the sidewalk with your scooter, you had better be pushing it or you will be fined.

I would make sure that tickets were issued to illegally parked vehicles—not just tow them away. There would be a huge force of meter people to issue the vast amount of tickets.

I would randomly pull taxi drivers over and have them slapped.

I would refuse to dress up in silly costumes.

I would make Nanjing our sister city, borrow her favorite dresses, and then return them all wrinkled and unwashed.

I would legalize pornography, prostitution, and drugs when used in combination with each other.

I would quickly succumb to ganster cash.

What would you do?

I would make sure that tickets were issued to illegally parked vehicles

Off topic, but I was stunned to find out the other day that it is illegal for taxi drivers to pick up people outside of taxi-stop areas!


I would make it so that thieves could keep any illegally parked car they stole.

[quote]I would incorporate taxi areas along the sidewalk. If a taxi picks up people outside this I would take the license from the taxi driver[/quote] :shock: tough rule mate. Glad you’re not the mayor.

I’d fine anyone carrying an open umbrella on a covered footpath (sidewalk).

I would allow all forms of street performances, including in the MRT, and I would pass a city ordinance that each and every shopping mall would have to have a decent number of stores selling gizmos, gadgets and non-womanly stuff that’s actually interesting for a fucking change.

And I’d make all foreigners do the bunny hop at all times while out in public.

Are you off your rocker? Fucking karaoke organ payers on every corner? And that wanker with the accordian actually being allowed to clutter up the MRT stop at Taipei Main? Make 'em pass an audition first, except for the old guy with no arms. And if they pass, then give them some public money for making the city a pleasanter place, especially the old guy with no arms.

Me, I would reintroduce glass booths full of scantily-clad young ladies. In fact, since the boys have to go into the army, I think the girls should all have to do a stint in the betel nut booths.

And I would make Sandman do the bunny hop whenever he’s out in public!

I would drink a lot.

I would work with the Ministry of Transportation to redesign Taipei Main Station and the surrounding area.

I would start construction on the Huashan - Taipei Main Station Greenbelt.

I would open negotiations with the central government for the construction of at least phase one of Capital Plaza.

I would form a metropolitian bus corporation with the existing operators and introduce clean ultra low-floor buses.

I would introduce a grace period of two years, after which all illegal additions to buildings will be demolished.

I would sponsor an international architectural competition to redesign the curtain wall of TFAM.

I would retain the services of Kris Yao as the city’s architectural consultant.

I would introduce at grade LRVs on all the existing dedicated bus routes.

I would demolish all of the unsightly overhead walkways.

And I would appoint Gus chief of the city’s web-based services. :sunglasses:

I’d make it illegal to have slippery tile surfaces out in front of shops. I’d let larger-capacity motorcycles on expressways. I would also properly light the museum at the end of Guanqian Road, and change the ticketing station inside of the Taipei Train Station into a replica of the original Japanese-style station, and introduce more incentives for historic buildings. restoration/preservation.

I’d also like to dredge a channel in the Danshui River so that larger ships could make it all the way in to Wanhua, but that’s probably a higher-level project.

Please run for mayor!! I almost killed myself many times during the last couple of days of bad weather. Start the anti-Marble coalition.

When you do get the job, please don’t try to do any hip-hop dancing…no matter what your advisors tell you…I think Ma should have to step down just for that.

[quote=“Richardm”]I would make it illegal to ride a motor scooter on the sidewalk

Admirable, Ben, but I’d make it a ban on private cars and scooters not registered in the city. Massive parking lots on major arteries at the edge of the city with shuttle bus services into and out of town. They did that in several UK cities and it works well.
Simply keeping out the commuters would go a long way to easing inner city traffic problems.

I’d convert the city-owned hot-spring baths in Beitou to mixed “Japanese style” (no swimsuits allowed) facilities.

I’d allow (and encourage) betel-nut beauties to operate freely all over the city, wear whatever they liked, and even work stark-naked if they so wished.

I’d introduce a London-style electronic charging system for vehicles entering the city, with very high charges levied from 6am to 10pm and lower charges during the night.

I’d build dozens of large outdoor swimming-pools (on the tops of buildings if no other space were available), keep them open all year round, designate half of them as adult-only facilities, and charge just NT$100 a time for people to use them.

And I’d create lots and lots of pedestrian-only zones.

[quote=“amos”][quote]I would incorporate taxi areas along the sidewalk. If a taxi picks up people outside this I would take the license from the taxi driver[/quote] :shock: tough rule mate. Glad you’re not the mayor.
To enforce this I would mount missile batteries along the street that are yellow taxi seeking. I know it would cost money, but I really hate kerb crawling taxis

To reduce the congestion caused by buses pulling in and stopping ( and almost killing me a couple of times), I would bring in the following rule:
Buses must slow down to 20 KPH when people are getting off. The people are expected to jump from the bus and land on the matresses provided.
When getting on, the person must climb up the ladders provided and jump into the bus ( I would remove the roof from the bus). The bus would drop down to a modest 50KPH. When rain is forecast please don’t forget to bring your umbrellas!!!

The following combination is not allowed when driving the blue trucks - bottle of whisbee, smoking longlife( whether it be mild or yellow pack), beetle nut, and phoning or recieving phonecalls from the girlfriend or wife who has just knocked off work from the dirty KTV in San Chuang.

People who J walk are legitimate targets

Why? I ride around the city on two wheels because it’s quicker and more practical than it would be on four. You want me to buy a car and sit in the inevitable jams forever? Or do you want me to drive my moto out of the city and then take a bus back in?

Why should the two-wheelers give way to the four-wheelers? If a large vehicle is full of people then maybe there is some argument in favour of giving them precedence.

But the truth is that people who insist on driving around alone in a car are taking up far more space than the people who will use a scooter. Penalising the people who take up less space is hardly smart or fair.

What this city needs is more parking spaces for scooters, and more footpath space for pedestrians. Parking on the pavement IS a problem, for sure, but the solution is not to ban people who don’t want to hog the road in their big selfish cars.

And if anyone wants to penalise me for driving in the left lane they should try being squashed into the kerb by an idiot in a car first. People who are turning right should use the right lane, and everyone else should go on the left. Letting big vehicles turn across people who are forced to be in their way is a recipe for disaster.

If we were (joint) mayors of Taipei we would do something really important like fine people with leaky air conditioners, and solve the romanization problem once and for all by giving some roads numbers as well as names.

Maybe riding a scooter is more enviormentally friendly than cars, but taking public transport is even better. What happens in other countries ? Do visitors say “Oooo look at all the cars ?”, do they have cars piled up on sidewalks instead of scooters ? No, people leave them at home. Are busses and the MRT really so bad here ?

I’m gonna take a lot of flames for this I’m sure, as many forumosa members ride scooters, but I would ban scooters completely from Taipei City.

Its a national icon here. What built Taiwan and maintains it?

Whisbee, the blue trucks and scooters. :wink:

A true Taiwanese guy will have a scooter, a motorola phone in the nightmarket bought pouch, a cigarette from the mouth, a spicy girl on the back, and a 20NTD motorcyle helmet ( and of course will be dodging invisbile traffic cones as he burns down the street). It just does not work with the scooter removed, and you then remove an element of Taiwan from Taipei.

Oh, if only that were true; then we two-wheelers wouldn’t have to adhere to any laws whatsoever.

Only if cars can only drive in their lanes and are never allowed to use scooter lanes. Fair is fair.

Then cars that are slower than the 85th percentile of two-wheeled traffic should yield to it.

Um, no, that wouldn’t help in the slightest. Taipei already tried that; the result was, predictably, a huge waste of taxpayers’ money with no improvement whatsoever.