If you could be a tree, any tree, what kind would you be? and why?

Ermintrude · January 21, 2016, 3:04pm

Because Glenn Frey died?

fred_smith · January 22, 2016, 5:22am

Now, I am a Who the F*** is Glenn Frey tree.

fred_smith · January 24, 2016, 10:42am

Today, I am a let it snow, let it snow, let it snow tree. Hurray! Yippee!

fred_smith · January 27, 2016, 4:58am

Today, I would like to open up my treeness to the public. What kind of tree do YOU think that I should be? Honest, supportive, positive, nonjudgmental responses preferred.

fred_smith · January 29, 2016, 5:09am

Today, I am a banana republic tree. I have often wondered about that brand. Is it a slam against poorly run countries in Central America? or is there a hidden meaning to its messaging. I am all ears… well, all leaves, but would love a response to that BURNING question.

fred_smith · February 1, 2016, 6:09am

Today, I am a tree that just cannot but send rogue emails.

fred_smith · February 4, 2016, 9:41am

Today, I am an "Isn’t-it-Friday, yet? tree… WHY ISN’T IT FRIDAY!!!

fred_smith · February 10, 2016, 2:28pm

Today, I am a German oak tree who denies that it is or ever has been responsible for anything. Don’t bring up the war. Let’s not talk about the Jews. Never mind about Germany’s sparking the Balkan wars. Don’t ask me about migration policy. Ner mind what anyone else thinks: We know best. Haven’t we proved that time and time again?

fred_smith · February 17, 2016, 12:13pm

Today, I am a Bernie Sanders tree that HOPES LIKE HELL it doesn’t feel the burn.

fred_smith · February 22, 2016, 3:48pm

Today, I am a dove sono tree. Yes, that is what I am. A dove sono tree. Beautiful!

fred_smith · February 25, 2016, 5:39am

Today, I am a 48-hours-until-I-am-free TREE! Soon to be free free FREE as a bird …

fred_smith · March 2, 2016, 6:28am

And I WAS indeed a free-as-a-bird tree but then I realized that birds, too, have needs and issues like getting enough seed to eat and finding a tree in which to roost and I realized… my freedom was only an illusion and that I was not free so now I am a not-as-free-as-a-bird-tree-and-resolved-to-deal-with-this-new-reality tree. Apologies for any and all confusion!

fred_smith · March 8, 2016, 10:07am

Today, I am a constipated German tree with a fetish for Japanese eel porn.

Ermintrude · March 8, 2016, 10:32am

Maybe consider the lilies, instead?

fred_smith · March 13, 2016, 10:50am

Do we know what color/kind we are referring to here? It makes a difference, you know… a BIG difference… to a tree like me…

fred_smith · March 30, 2016, 6:38am

Today, I am a tree in desperate need of a G_d damned flight connection. This tree wants to leave tomorrow. Better make it happen. Just better!

fred_smith · April 5, 2016, 2:07am

Today, I am a tree that despite all odds got a flight connection and back to civilization and away from those places that cancel and delay flights and announce rescheduled times without … bothering to “announce” them to the passengers. Whew! Glad that is over. Anyone who thinks that modern civilization is not a great and shining success can experience the alternative for a few weeks and live in constant anxiety and trepidation. Some surety surely is a good thing? Surely?

fred_smith · April 13, 2016, 5:08am

Today, I am a tree that used its email at work!!! OMG!!! Come and get me investigative agencies!!!

fred_smith · April 19, 2016, 4:58am

Today, I had a thought so I imagine that makes me a thinking tree or am I an imagining tree and now perhaps a questioning tree?

fred_smith · April 23, 2016, 8:51am

It’s hot out today and I don’t like it. Damn this global warming. DAMN! So, now, what kind of tree am I?