If you could be a tree, any tree, what kind would you be? and why?


Because Glenn Frey died?


Now, I am a Who the F*** is Glenn Frey tree.


Today, I am a let it snow, let it snow, let it snow tree. Hurray! Yippee!


Today, I would like to open up my treeness to the public. What kind of tree do YOU think that I should be? Honest, supportive, positive, nonjudgmental responses preferred.


Today, I am a banana republic tree. I have often wondered about that brand. Is it a slam against poorly run countries in Central America? or is there a hidden meaning to its messaging. I am all ears… well, all leaves, but would love a response to that BURNING question.


Today, I am a tree that just cannot but send rogue emails.


Today, I am an "Isn’t-it-Friday, yet? tree… WHY ISN’T IT FRIDAY!!!


Today, I am a German oak tree who denies that it is or ever has been responsible for anything. Don’t bring up the war. Let’s not talk about the Jews. Never mind about Germany’s sparking the Balkan wars. Don’t ask me about migration policy. Ner mind what anyone else thinks: We know best. Haven’t we proved that time and time again?


Today, I am a Bernie Sanders tree that HOPES LIKE HELL it doesn’t feel the burn.


Today, I am a dove sono tree. Yes, that is what I am. A dove sono tree. Beautiful!


Today, I am a 48-hours-until-I-am-free TREE! Soon to be free free FREE as a bird …


And I WAS indeed a free-as-a-bird tree but then I realized that birds, too, have needs and issues like getting enough seed to eat and finding a tree in which to roost and I realized… my freedom was only an illusion and that I was not free so now I am a not-as-free-as-a-bird-tree-and-resolved-to-deal-with-this-new-reality tree. Apologies for any and all confusion!


Today, I am a constipated German tree with a fetish for Japanese eel porn.


Maybe consider the lilies, instead?


Do we know what color/kind we are referring to here? It makes a difference, you know… a BIG difference… to a tree like me…


Today, I am a tree in desperate need of a G_d damned flight connection. This tree wants to leave tomorrow. Better make it happen. Just better!


Today, I am a tree that despite all odds got a flight connection and back to civilization and away from those places that cancel and delay flights and announce rescheduled times without … bothering to “announce” them to the passengers. Whew! Glad that is over. Anyone who thinks that modern civilization is not a great and shining success can experience the alternative for a few weeks and live in constant anxiety and trepidation. Some surety surely is a good thing? Surely?


Today, I am a tree that used its email at work!!! OMG!!! Come and get me investigative agencies!!!


Today, I had a thought so I imagine that makes me a thinking tree or am I an imagining tree and now perhaps a questioning tree?


It’s hot out today and I don’t like it. Damn this global warming. DAMN! So, now, what kind of tree am I?